One Thing I Know is True

Today was the second of three pre-service days entirely devoted to professional learning and meetings. I do appreciate the model our district has adopted over the past few years, one where staff can choose from many offerings (including those we have found or developed ourselves) and document the hours we spend learning to improve our practice. And yet, these days might be a little too unstructured for the likes of me; I am most productive with some specific direction and a firm deadline (which is why I always meet the requirements by the end of the year, although sometimes with a racing heart and a sweaty brow).

But perhaps the best lesson of all is being in the learner position for a while. Just as I acknowledge a preference for structure, I know many of my students have that, too. And my appreciation for choice and voice when learning is also pretty universal. There are specific experiences, too, that I recognize must inform my practice. For example, many, many times when I am asked on the spot, in the name of collaborative learning or reflection, to express my thoughts on a complex question, I feel unprepared and even unwilling to participate. 

In fact, I exited a Nearpod activity this morning when the interaction became too stressful, and I knew for a fact that the same thing had happened to some of my virtual students on several occasions last year. Drawing a blank in a situation that you feel is high stakes is not that uncommon.

And so, with that in mind, I made sure to look at the agenda for my next meeting, and when I saw another interactive experience planned, I considered the questions in advance, and attended the meeting prepared with some ideas. What I missed, though, was the icebreaker, and when I ducked into the group a couple of minutes late because a colleague had stopped me in the hall to ask some questions, my stomach siezed and my brain froze when I realized what was happening, and that the only seat left in the room put me third in line to compose an articulate response.

Of the three questions I could choose from, What brings you to the school? What did you read this summer? and What is something you hope for? I could only think of one thing. 

"I came to this school a while ago," I said. "because I wanted to be a teacher, and the principal offered me a job. I think it's worked out so far."

At least that thing was true.