Not as Sharp as They Used to Be

I ran by the grocery store this afternoon after I was finished at the gym. The last gym I belonged to was right next to a big grocery store, and I often picked up a few things before heading home. Then, there seemed to be several other sweaty patrons like me, and the proximity to the gym was its own explanation. 

Today I felt a little self-conscious, though, because I had to drive to the store from the gym, and it seemed like I was the only shopper in damp workout duds. I didn't think I smelled too bad, but I kept my distance from other people as best I could, in case. I was reminded of a joke my grandfather used to tell.

An old lady went to the doctor, and when he asked her how she was, she said, "Fine, except I've been passing gas a lot lately. It's silent and odorless, though." She paused, "Oh, it just happened!"she reported.

The doctor nodded, prescribed some medication, and told her to come back in a week.

"How are you?" he asked at her next appointment.

"Okay," she answered. "I'm still gassy, though, and they are still silent, but now they really stink!"

"Well, we've fixed your sense of smell," he told her. "Time to work on your hearing."

DC Downer

There was some debate this morning as we tried to determine the best way to meet friends at the Lincoln Memorial to tour the new undercroft exhibit. Finding a parking space would be time-consuming and inconvenient, especially since we had lunch reservations at Equinox later. We considered driving to Pentagon City and parking so that we could metro, but the closest station was Arlington Cemetery, which required crossing Memorial Bridge on foot. 

We weren't against that, but the trip would take nearly an hour and a half. In the end, we decided to Uber, which would be comparable to paying for parking and subway fares for two, and Emily drove down and joined us, so it turned out to be quite reasonable and quick, too. Even though I didn't realize I had mistakenly booked the car for 11 PM instead of AM until 10:50, our Uber came by 11 AM anyway, and we were crossing Memorial Bridge by car 10 minutes later. 

As we neared the Lincoln Memorial, we were blinded by the new gilding on the statues flanking the bridge. The shiny gold looked gaudy and cheap under the breezy blue July sky. The new National Service Monument was a surprise, too: a pair of big boxy structures blocked the left and right sides of the stairs from the drained reflecting pool to the memorial. It is a temporary installation made of stone-facsimile-covered plywood and LED screens, sponsored by USAA and designed to honor every service member ever. I had the impression that many people would be glad when it is dismantled on August 23, although it was awkward to speak freely in the company of all the USAA employees and National Guardsmen surrounding it. 

The security to enter the Undercroft was very robust, and both Heidi and Emily were searched thoroughly. Unfortunately? The new space was underwhelming to me, poorly designed and organized. The promised film was brief and with very little substance, and I was disappointed by what I had hoped would be a cool new experience.

In general, the whole trip left me with a sense of wasteful decadence and the decay of the dignity that has always been a hallmark of any trip to the National Mall. 

Two Birds

I picked up my ukulele today for the first time in months. I think I was inspired by all the musicians at Vic and Julie's wedding, but it could have been the 30 minutes I spent singing "Friend of the Devil" to myself as I walked Lucy this afternoon. I just got it into my head that I could play it and sing it, and briefly even imagined being confident enough to have performed at the jam session after the rehearsal dinner.

"Can you play?" my friend from high school asked when she was here a few weeks ago and noticed my ukulele.

"Not really," I shrugged. "But I do work on it sometimes," I laughed.

"For me music is like a foreign language that just never clicks," she said, and I realized I felt the same way. 

Despite the years of French I took, I never achieved anything near fluency. "She's very good at the class," my high school teacher told my parents. "She probably just needs to get drunk in France and start talking!" 

It was the 70s, and no one considered the advice unsuitable in the least. Plus? She may have been right. Even though I continued taking French in college, I never did get over the fluency hump.

I'm not sure if music is the same way. I do know that I've been strumming away on my ukulele on and off for nearly 15 years. I've even had lessons, and I still can't say I play. Maybe I just need to get drunk in French Polynesia.

Eye Roll Please

At first,  Lucy was happy to see us when we got back yesterday after nearly six days away. But soon she remembered how put out she was to have been left behind. Cue the heavy sighs and bombastic side-eye, which we were subjected to well into this morning.

Make Me a Cake

Courtney, Heidi, and I spent a fair portion of our time in Michigan working on our assigned task, the wedding cake. We had done some research in advance: exchanging photo ideas, recipes, and YouTube videos about assembling and decorating a tiered cake. Courtney also contacted the venue, a beautiful church that had been converted to a brewery and restaurant, and they generously arranged a work area and some space in the walk-in for us to use. 

So we were not unprepared on Friday afternoon when we arrived, as they were closing down the beer brewing operation for the weekend. Our plan was to fill and frost the layers so they would be ready for assembly the next day, and we started by chopping and macerating the strawberries and whipping some cream stabilized with cream cheese and meringue powder. We only had a couple of hours before the rehearsal dinner, but we accomplished our mission for the day and left the three layers on their cake boards, filled and frosted with a bottom coat. 

The next day was the wedding, and we got over there around noon, ready to assemble and add preliminary decorations. These tasks were a bit trickier, involving cutting cake dowels to size and using a skewer to punch through the cardboard rounds the second and third tiers were sitting on. The whipped cream was softer than we hoped, and considerably less stable than the buttercream they used in the videos, but we were making a strawberry shortcake, so we had to work with what we had. 

It was also challenging to thread the cake dowels through the skewer holes, so they weren't as tight in the cake as we wanted, and it was a little wobbly. Even so, our model had always been a less constructed, more organic look, which we definitely achieved. We had ordered some edible butterflies to go with the insect-theme of the wedding (a riff on how the couple had met, their shared love of performance art, and deconstructing classic princess iconography) and, as a tribute to their musical backgrounds, ribbons of edible musical notes to go around one or two of the layers. We had strawberries and fresh flowers, too, but the final decorations would have to wait until after the ceremony, and we dashed back to the rental house to change for the wedding. 

As the reception was warming up on the patio, we were shivering in the cooler in our summer dresses and sneakers, adding bugs, fruit, and flowers to our masterpiece, emerging a few minutes before everyone was summoned inside for dinner. The restaurant staff did the rest-- bringing the cake up a little while before the cutting so all the guests could admire it. 

And they did! Although one of the bride's more musical friends told us the notes we had so carefully placed were the song Happy Birthday. Honestly, it never occurred to us as non-musicians to even consider them beyond their decorative value, but he had been hoping for a more intentional Easter Egg experience. 

Our research told us that a cake that size should feed between 100 and 120 guests, but every crumb was gone within minutes of cutting it. A friend told Heidi and me that it was the first time she had ever finished a piece of wedding cake; it was that good, so light and delicious. 

As happy as we were at how it turned out, and as relieved as we were that we had accomplished our task, I couldn't help wishing I could make another wedding cake. We'd learned so much, and I had lots of ideas for ways that we could improve the process, and not just by finding more appropriate music!

Van Go

The minivan we rented is a hybrid model of a make I have never driven before. As such, using some of the features and controls has been a bit of a learning curve. For example, there is just a large knob on the center console that changes gears from Drive to Neutral and Reverse, with a button in the middle for Park. In addition, starting the car does not mean starting the engine, so once the start button has been pushed, the van waits silently for the driver to turn that knob and be on the way. 

Cutting the car off is equally without those familiar audible signifiers that the journey is over. The first morning we were here, I happened to look down the driveway from the backyard and noticed that the lights were on. The van had been unlocked in ready mode for hours. 

Without the keys, I doubt anyone could have gotten very far, but still. After that, I made sure to wait for the screen to go off after pressing the power-off button on the dashboard, and enlisted one of my passengers, often my sister, to check that the doors were locked after I stepped away with the key fob. The series of normally unnecessary steps turns parking into a kind of slapstick routine, especially when you're in and out of the van all day running wedding errands. 

At one of our many stops the other day, my sister had to take a phone call and elected to stay in the van while Heidi and I ran into the store. 

"You can leave it running with the a/c on," she said.

"Great!" I answered. "I definitely know how to do that."

They Do

And they did! A magical time was had by all, and there were even fireflies.