Out of My League

I reported to the bowling center as directed, 15 minutes before the league start time, to register as a substitute bowler. As I waited for the manager to sign me in, I scanned the crowd. At least ten of the bowlers from my regular league were there, and they waved and welcomed me to the Summer Owl League. "There are only 2 people per team," someone told me, "so it goes pretty fast."

I found my partner and lane, and sat down to change my shoes before warm-up. Both of our opponents for the week were on my regular league, so I felt comfortable right away. The teams on the lanes to our left and right started to warm up, and I realized how out of balance the competition could have been. "Do you bowl against everybody?" I asked incredulously as a guy next to me threw his fourth practice strike.

"Just the luck of the draw," one of the women told me fatalistically, eyeing the teams around us. 

"I guess that's why we have handicaps," I shrugged.

She nodded. "It levels the lanes, doesn't it?" she replied over the thunder of the pins around us.

High Tech, Low Arches

After we got our toenails done for the wedding next Saturday, Heidi wanted to go shoe shopping, so we headed over to the big-box shoe store and trolled the aisles for a nice pair of heeled sandals to go with the dress she's wearing. After a while, I wandered over to clearance and found some glittery platform slides on sale, and the two of us were headed to the checkout when I spotted the foot scanner. 

Even though I was anxious to pay and be on our way, I couldn't resist! I slipped off my flip flops, stepped on the pad in the middle of the sensors, and followed the on-screen directions. In 20 seconds, I had the report detailing the length, width, girth, arch, and instep height of each foot, plus the percentiles those measurements fell into. There was also an option to dig deeper with even more granular data, which you could also have sent to your email. 

And of course! There were shoe and orthotic recommendations, many of which you could buy on the spot. We left without adding to our purchases, but as we walked to the car, Heidi thanked me for going with her. "I know you don't love shopping," she said, "but I feel much better about my outfit now that I have these."

"You're welcome," I said. "But to be honest, I did find a bargain pair of shoes myself, and plus? The scan made the trip worth it!"

Conquistadors

I wasn't going to watch it. 

But stuff happens, and my plans to go to the gym were railroaded by a late start and Heidi's previous commitment, and blah blah, blah, I tuned into the World Cup final about 30 minutes into the match, just to kill a little time and perhaps engage with 4 billion of my fellow humans in this global phenomenon. 

It was mesmerizing.

The crisp Spanish offense pitted against the disciplined Argentine team captivated me in a way I did not expect.  And the players? So resolute and strong and kind of cute in a he-could-totally-be-my-former-student way. I couldn't turn it off! 

Then, who could resist the halftime show, with the muppets, Ted Lasso, Madonna, Shakira, and Bieber, and its message of universal love? 

I didn't even realize that I was rooting for Argentina, but when Emiliano Martinez broke the record for the number of saves, keeping the match tied at nil until the 106th minute, in the second half of extra time, despite playing the entire tournament with a broken finger? Wow! Just wow. And even after Spain scored, Argentina was totally in it until the final whistle.  

I do confess that I turned it off before the cup was presented by he-who-ruins-everything. It was such an unexpected pleasure, and I just wanted to keep it that way.

In Gear

Word today that, according to the Washington Post, "the death of the stick shift is almost here." I have mixed feelings about the news. Part of me is sad, in a nostalgic way. I learned to drive on a manual transmission and, back then, vowed never to drive anything else. There was something satisfying about how active driving was, being mindful of the sound of the motor to avoid grinding gears, and something soothing about the gentle vibration of the idling engine as you rested your hand on the knob of the gear shift. 

There was also the fun and practical fix of popping the clutch if the car wouldn't start. Whoever was around would be enlisted to roll the car to a flat straightaway, and then push it as fast as they could while the driver kept it in neutral with a foot on the clutch until it picked up enough speed to hit the gas and let up on the clutch at the same time, usually encouraging the engine to roar to life; why, I don't know. 

The article blames sophisticated engineering, computerized transmissions with as many as 7 gears to optimize acceleration and fuel efficiency. Maybe, but I broke my vow to never drive automatic after a particularly grueling ride to BWI. The 30-mile trip took nearly two hours that day, and my leg and foot were cramped from all the stop-and-go. After that, I made sure my next car was an automatic, so I put the onus on the increased traffic congestion over the last few decades. It seems impossible to take a drive of any length without experiencing at least a few slowdowns, and an automatic transmission makes such aggravations a little less onerous. 

Even so, I'll be sorry when the stick shift goes the way of the penny. They are both such classics, and I never thought they could be anything but timeless.

Period Pieces

Even though I retired two years ago, my personal email is still set up to receive notifications from the school system's Learning Management System. I can't even change it, because I no longer have the proper permissions.

Most courses are automatically archived on July 1 and stop sending notifications, but a couple are manually created and will never go away unless someone actively requests it. That's why today I got a message that a student had submitted a late assignment. Curious and amused, I switched profiles on my browser and clicked through several login and authentication screens to see exactly who had submitted what, a month after school was dismissed for the summer.

It was a Unit 2 writing assignment for 8th grade, due December 20, 2025. The prompt was either to reflect on what they had learned in the unit or to write a short piece of fiction about two students from 50 years ago. Seven months late, this student had posted the following:

In the sweltering July of 1976, middle schoolers Leo and Naya sit on a curbside in Arlington, Virginia. Armed with classic 1976s gear, they debate the mysteries of the brand-new Bionic Woman, while plotting to trade a pet rock for the latest 1976 summer blockbuster ticket.

It sounded pretty accurate to me, at least from my recollection of that summer when I was that exact age myself. The pet rock detail was a little inaccurate, but humorous, so.

I wondered if a student in 2076 might write something like this:

In the sweltering July of 2026, the hum of the air conditioner was the only sound as middle schoolers Leo and Naya sprawled on the couch, staring at their phones. There was nothing on TikTok, and the World Cup final between Spain and Argentina wasn't until the next day. Bored as usual, Naya sighed and opened up Canvas to check the notifications. That annoying message from December was still there, so they decided to go ahead and write something.

Bye Bye Buggy

Lucy's oldest dog friend, Lady, passed away today. She was around 16 years old and was so helpful when Lucy was a puppy that we called her Nanny. She never hesitated to let Lucy know when she was out of line, and she even nose-boosted her up some stairs when Lucy was too little to make it herself. Their bond continued until yesterday, when we took Lucy over to see her friend one last time.

Lady only had one eye because her other one had been shot out; she carried some of the pellets from that shotgun blast under her skin for her whole life. They reckoned she was a little older than a year when she was rescued as a stray living on her own in the woods in West Virginia. She was malnourished and had a serious case of heartworm, the treatment for which required her movement to be restricted for several months when she first moved into the neighborhood with her owner, Lauren. 

Not surprisingly, she was a bit of a timid creature back then, despite her fierce visage and coal-black fireplug body. Our first dog, Isabel, helped her out of her shell enough to venture first up the stairs and out of the complex, and finally even into the dog park. Within a year or so, she was willing to go anywhere, without hesitation, although she was always happy to get home.

Lady was ever the most practical of dogs, though, eating whatever was put in front of her whenever she could and avoiding any uncomfortable situation; whether it was hot weather, rain, crazy dogs, or crazy people, she was sensible enough to give such things a wide berth. She was a faithful companion to her person, Lauren, seeing her through a master's program, a Ph.D., a first job, dating, engagement, a wedding (which Lady was in), a new home, and pregnancy. She even converted Lauren's husband, AJ, to a dog person; before Lady, he was 100% Team Cat.

We called her Lady Bug, which was eventually shortened to Bug or Buggy, which seemed to suit her just fine. Fourteen years is a long time to know a dog, and she was a great one. She will be missed.

Taking a Swipe at It

 "We've been talking about names," our friend who's expecting told us this afternoon.

"You mean Pebbles might not stick?" I joked. "What could possibly be better?"

"Actually," her husband said, "we downloaded an app."

"That's smart," Heidi said.

"It gives you a list of names," our friend said, "and you swipe right if you like one."

"We do it separately," her husband continued, "and then it tells you which ones you matched."

"Yeah, but we went through, like, 500 names," his wife said, "and we only agreed on maybe five."

"What were they?" I asked.

They shrugged. "I think one was Zoe," he told us.

"I honestly can't remember any others," she agreed. "And we need a middle name, too."

"You still have plenty of time," Heidi assured them.

"Or? Pebbles it is!" I added. "We all agree on that one!"