W the Absolute F

Years ago I subscribed to news and traffic alerts issued by the county where I live, so a few times a day my watch or phone will ping to let me know that this or that local road is closed or reopened or that there is a severe weather warning or watch. 

Despite how small our county is geographically (the smallest in the country, thank you very much), I can honestly say that these notifications are almost never relevant to me; I am either already aware of the news they are reporting or unlikely to go by the impacted location. And when I'm on vacation the alerts can really be a nuisance: I've been awakened at 6 am in Key West because of a car fire 1,200 miles away and charged international messaging rates in Canada because of a fender bender back at home. 

Maybe it's like those people we knew when we were kids that had a police scanner squawking in their kitchens, because it has never occurred to me to unsubscribe; knowing (and ignoring) what is happening out on the streets has become part of the fabric of my daily life. 

And then, there is the story that unfolded today, when the driver of a tractor-trailer lost control and rammed several vehicles on the highway approaching one of the bridges to DC. Once his truck came to rest, he made a run for it, hopping the guard rail and bolting into the commercial district at the bottom of the embankment. Then he carjacked another vehicle before abandoning it to steal an ambulance and lead the police on a classic car chase full of crashes and collisions before finally being taken into custody and then transported to the hospital, along with several others injured in his wake.

Clearly, somebody's seen too many movies-- because? 

That is not how the Arlington Alerts roll.