Friday, September 11, 2026

Pied a Terre

Unexpectedly caught without a car today, I was forced to entertain myself either at home or on foot. So, after my dog buddies and I returned from a spin around the neighborhood, I decided that today might be a good day to try one of the dishes on the 40 essential list. I could have ordered something to be delivered, but I'm not used to eating much restaurant food in the middle of the day, so I figured I should walk if I could. 

That narrowed my options to orangish chicken at Chiko, so I placed an order for pickup and headed there. All the way, I imagined this becoming routine—I could spend my dog-walking money on lunch once a week and get in some extra steps, too. And the thought was still on my mind when I poured the orange juice reduction over a generous portion of crispy fried chicken thighs garnished with candied jalapeƱo, tangerine peel, and crunchy garlic and dug in. 

It was good, and I definitely ate my fill, but it wasn't sublime or transformative. I'm not sure why I thought it might be. Maybe I was just hungry, or caught up in the novelty of the adventure. Either way? That's one more dish checked off the list.

Thursday, September 10, 2026

Giving a Fig

After seeing my olive, lemon, and cinnamon trees, the next time she visited my friend Amy brought me five fig twigs to cultivate from her tree in Arizona. "I think you can just stick them in the ground," she told me, but I was skeptical, so I did a little research.

"I know figs are controversial," read the thumbnail from the first site I consulted, "but hear me out."

Huh? Who said figs are controversial?

Scanning the page I saw that it was a Christian-leaning chat, and I was intrigued enough to delve a little deeper into the situation, which led me to a story about Jesus that I never recall hearing, even after a childhood full of Sunday mass and chatechism. 

According to the gospels of Matthew and Mark, on the day after his triumphal entrance to Jerusalem (Palm Sunday), Jesus noticed a fig tree in leaf. Even though it was too early for any fruit, he was hungry and approached it hopefully. Upon findind no figs, Jesus cursed the tree. The next day, his apostles passed the spot again and found the fig had withered and died.

What? My recollection is of a Jesus who was pretty chill, with the exception of the money lenders in the temple episode. Why would he curse a tree for not having fruit when it was out of season?

It turns out that my question is one of *the* questions of New Testament scholars. What does this out of character reaction mean, and what does that fig symbolize? Are his actions and words meant to be taken literally or metphorically? There is no clear consensus.

In terms of timing, this episode comes right after Jesus cleans house in the temple, and just days before he is arrested and crucified. It is just one of many dramatic events that occur during Holy Week, but even so, there is no completely agreed upon interpretation of his curse on the fig tree, which contributes to its controversy.

My own fig cuttings stayed in water for a few weeks on a bright windowsill away from direct sun. When they began to develop tiny, wispy roots, I dipped them in rooting hormone and then, as Amy suggested, stuck them in potting soil. 

And what do you know? Right now, I have five little fig trees with some healthy looking leaves. I'm managing my expectations, though, so no cursing necessary, yet.

Wednesday, September 9, 2026

Charmed, I'm Sure

My little dog-walking client, Berto, wasn't so sure he should go with me this afternoon. Fortunately, I had one of his besties, Lucy, with me, so he hesitantly left his house. He did not want to go far from home, though, and I can respect that. His side-eye said, for all the world, that he was sure I was dog-napping him, and even the treats I brought offered little comfort. 

He's a sweet dog, though. Rescued as a puppy from Puerto Rico after Hurricane Ernesto in 2022, he has every right to be suspicious. But I? 

Am going to win him over!

Tuesday, September 8, 2026

Back to Back Ws

I was full of bowling news as I settled into the dentist's chair. My cleaning and checkup had been scheduled months ago, before the bowling league changed our start time from 10 to 11, and I'd had to rush to make the appointment on time. 

I had also told my team and our opponents I was on a deadline, so everyone picked up the usual leisurely pace. Whether because of or in spite of my focused game, I ended up bowling pretty well —winning two of the three games myself with scores of 145 and 139. 

My hygienist has been cleaning my teeth for about five years now, and he is wonderful: fast, gentle, unscolding, and a good conversationalist, too. When I was working, he always asked about school, my classes, and students, and now that I'm retired, we talk about my other activities. He was really into the bowling conversation, too, or at least he convincingly pretended to be fascinated by the minutiae of the game, the weighted balls, oil patterns, and arcane league rules. He was also interested in the fact that even though they are senior leagues, some of the bowlers still crush it.

"Oh yeah," I told him during a spit break, "they regularly call out the people who have bowled over 200, and there are at least five every week."

"That's going to be you someday soon!" he said as he finished polishing and flossing. "We are just about all done here," he added. "And you definitely get the prize for the easiest mouth to clean today!"

"Thanks!" I replied. "I'll report back in 6 months."

Monday, September 7, 2026

Traces of Change

There was just the slightest hint of a cool breeze when I took Lucy out around 6 this evening. And the shadows were on the verge of getting long in the faintly golden hue of sunlight. All the pools were closed, and there were no signs of any cook outs or picnics. 

Then, as we rounded a corner we met a neighbor and former colleague who is now a high school principal. She, too, had her dog on leash, but they were not on a walk, far from it. She was wearing her pajamas, and seemed about ready to turn in for the night.

So long, summer.

Sunday, September 6, 2026

Mad Money

"Would you have any interest in walking Berto a couple of times a week?" a neighbor texted this morning and offered me a nominal payment.

"As long as you're flexible about time and days," I replied. 

"Very flexible!" she answered.

And since I usually walk Lucy every afternoon, unless it's really hot or raining, why not? I can help out a neighbor, and bonus! It's yet another addition to my retirement resume.

Saturday, September 5, 2026

Never Too Many

Every year, I remind myself not to plant too many Sungold cherry tomatoes, but it seems like no matter how many or how few plants I start with, I end up with a hell of a lot of cherry tomatoes. This year, my response has been to dehydrate them and then grind the desiccated little fruit into powder. It's an elegant solution, for the result is jewel-toned, golden, and intensely flavored, both beautiful and delicious. 

I guess there's no such thing as too many tomatoes.

Friday, September 4, 2026

Pumpkin Power

As I carried my big pumpkin home yesterday, I remembered the last time I'd had a tiny bit of success with pumpkin growing. The year was 2019, and despite the garden being a bit neglected because we had spent the entire month of August in Minnesota with my mom as she battled cancer, by early October I had a pretty little softball-sized pumpkin, which I proudly posted a picture of on our family photo blog.

Coincidentally, some good friends of my mom's shared a picture of the huge pumpkin they had grown with her the same day. When she showed the photo to my sister, who was out there with her, Courtney said, "Don't show Tracey!" I saw it anyway, and I've always thought it was funny and sweet how they wanted to shelter me from pumpkin envy. 

Next, my thoughts turned to Anne and Lowell, the pumpkin growers themselves, and I wondered how they were, because we had fallen out of touch in the seven years since my mom died. You can imagine my amazement then when my phone buzzed a few minutes later with a text message from Anne! 

It turned out that she had inadvertently texted me instead of another Tracey she knew, so we exchanged a few messages catching up, and she ended our conversation warmly: Guess I was meant to say hello and connect with you today, too!

Thursday, September 3, 2026

The Great One

Welp, it's taken me sixteen years of gardening, but I FINALLY did it.










 I grew a big pumpkin!


Wednesday, September 2, 2026

Sneex Peak

My friend Mary and I usually take a walk whenever we get together, but it's been a few weeks since I've seen her, and it's been so hot that I suggested doing something else today. What that might be, I had no idea, but fortunately, Mary was more resourceful than I. How about the Inventors Hall of Fame? she texted, with a link. 

Once I clicked? I was in! 

The IHF is in the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office complex located just west of Old Town Alexandria. Street parking was easy to find, and once we turned onto Dulaney Street, we followed the colorful trademark seals on the sidewalk to the Madison Building. Security guards checked our IDs on the front steps and ushered us through the huge revolving door into an atrium lined with banners showing trademarked items such as Haas avocados and Honeycrisp apples, and small display cases with miniature prototypes of familiar, patented items from history, like a horse-drawn fire truck and a railroad light. 

We were a little confused as to where the actual museum was, but as Mary pushed through the door to the gift shop, we were greeted by a friendly docent. "You actually have the museum to yourselves," she told us. "Let me give you an overview and show you around a little."

She led us into the gallery space and explained how the exhibits were arranged. "On this wall you'll see information about the most recent inductees," she pointed. "Like Sara Blakely. She's the billionaire who invented Spanx!" 

"And they are actually installing the newest exhibit down there," she said, waving to the far end of the room. "It's the dress she wore to the gala when she was inducted."

We nodded appreciatively, and she left us to explore the museum. It was very fun! We started by watching a movie about Esther Takeuchi, who invented a compact lithium battery that can last for up to 10 years in implantable defibrillators. Then we sat in the vintage Mustang on display and tried to guess six trademarked products from clues on the walls. Next, we took a quiz on trademarked mascots in advertising, which we aced, followed by another on the color palette of familiar logos, which we did not ace. 

We were good at spotting the knockoffs in a display with authentic items and their counterfeit counterparts, and had just come back into the main gallery when the same docent hailed us again. "They just finished the display," she said. "You will literally be the first visitors to ever see it!"

We hurried down to where a couple of women were dusting off their hands with satisfaction. "Tell them about the dress," the docent asked one of them. "It has the designs of some of her patented items on it," she told us.

"This was her first patent," the young woman explained, pointing to where the mannequin's right hand rested near the hip. "Sara wanted it in a prominent place. And the shoes are down here near the hem. She knew what she wanted when we talked about the design."

"Wait, you're the designer?" I asked in surprise.

"Yes, ma'am," she answered, nodding humbly.

"What!" I laughed. "We get to be the first ones to see the exhibit AND meet the designer! How are we so lucky? And where is the press? This should be a VIP experience!"



Tuesday, September 1, 2026

300 Pins a Week

I received more than a few spontaneous hugs and countless high-fives and fist bumps this morning as my bowling league season commenced. It was fun to catch up with the ladies as we cheered for each other across all ten lanes, hooting up a 7-10 pickup here and applauding a nice turkey there. Even though I personally was more than a little rusty, I eked out my average, in an inconsistent sort of way. 

And one other thing was clear-- I'm not the rookie anymore.

Monday, August 31, 2026

Here's Looking at You, Kid

"She's the most skeptical baby in the world!" Pebbles' dad told us when we finally met her yesterday. "All she does is give you the side-eye whenever you change her, feed her, talk to her, whatever."

"She may come by that honestly," I laughed, because he is the questioning, analytical type himself.

And, sure enough, she did side-eye me with raised eyebrows as I cooed and rocked her, but you know who she looked right at? Heidi! 

No one can resist those big blue eyes, not even the most skeptical baby in the world.

Sunday, August 30, 2026

My Next Retirement Project

I'm going to try to eat every dish on The Washington Post's list of the "40 most essential dishes" of the D.C. area

So far? I've had five, which puts me in the top 24 percent of readers who've used the interactive checklist so far. And that does beg the question of exactly how essential these dishes are to our area, but nevertheless, I will carry on.

So, this week I'm going with low-hanging fruit: Chiko's "orangish chicken," since there is a location right down at Shirlington, and the fish tacos from Taqueria Picoso, which is also very close to home.

Of course, there are also some delivery options, but eventually I will have to venture a little further from home than usual, and isn't that really the point?

Saturday, August 29, 2026

S-M-L Talk

"Are you going anywhere for the holiday next weekend?" the nail technician asked me as she cleaned up my cuticles.

"No," I answered, and then employed my favorite conversational move: "How about you?"

"No," she replied.

"Were you able to take any vacations at all this summer?" I asked, building on my first question to keep the conversation going.

"No," she said, shaking her head again. 

I was just about to give in to the not unpleasant silence when she added, "My kids finally moved to this country," she told me, "and we've been very busy getting them settled."

"That would take a lot of time," I agreed. "Do they have any children who will be in school?"

"Yes," she said. "He starts on Monday."

"In Arlington?" I clarified, because everyone else has started already. "Which school? I used to be a teacher in Arlington."

"Kenmore," she answered. "Eighth grade."

"Did he learn English before they moved?" I asked.

"No," she said. "He has a lot to catch up."

"They're really good at that at Kenmore," I assured her. "They have a lot of students who are learning English. Does he like school?"

"He loves it!" she said proudly.

"Oh, I know that kind of student," I laughed. "I bet he'll do really well."

"I hope so," she smiled, and our conversation flowed effortlessly from there.

Friday, August 28, 2026

What's Flat, Round, and Obsolete?

Besides the penny?

I recently read a recipe for a tuna tostada. Topped with seared, rare tuna, avocados, and a fresh salsa of melon and cucumber, the dish appealed to me as a quick, easy, light, and summery meal. Try as I might, however, I could not find tostada shells for sale at any of my local groceries. 

At first, I was confused because I distinctly recall buying the flat, crunchy shells all the time for all sorts of southwestern-inspired dishes. But then I took a minute to consider the last time I had made or ordered a tostada of any kind, and I realized it had been well over thirty years. 

I knew I could fry my own soft tortillas, or even just break crunchy taco shells, but even so? I mourned the loss of something I didn't even know was gone.

Thursday, August 27, 2026

Board of Bulletins

"I swear half the people I went to grad school with only wanted their teaching degree so they could do bulletin boards," a teacher laughed yesterday when she saw us carrying the telltale roll of fadeless paper. "Personally?" I think they're a tedious waste of time."

"They do seem low priority when you have so much other stuff to do," I agreed. "But they are so old-school, literally, that I can't imagine ever getting rid of them."

I thought back to my own years in elementary school and those standard letters and cardboard cut-outs of presidents, Cupid, snowmen, punctuation marks, math operation symbols, shamrocks, etc. And those classic wavy borders! I do admit to a bit of a thrill when I put up the first bulletin board of my own! But the novelty quickly wore off, and by the end of my career, I had resorted to year-long displays with just a few rotating pieces. (Opening the stapler and punching it with the heel of my hand never got old, though.)

Heidi tells a funny story about a student at the special ed school where she first worked who loved to tear down papers as he went by the bulletin board next to his classroom. "Put his work on there!" suggested a behavior specialist, and that did the trick. He never bothered the board again.

I have my own story of bulletin board defiance. Years ago, when we got a new assistant principal, he walked through the hallway at preservice week and ordered all the teams to "freshen up" their bulletin boards. As team leader, this edict rubbed me the wrong way, especially coming without context from someone new to the building, so rather than take any time for the bulletin board, I put in a work order to have it removed from the wall. No board? No problem.

Of course, the guy never noticed, because he had no idea where the bulletin boards were; he was just planning to inspect the walls. A few years later, though, at the beginning of yet another school year, the administration assigned instructional assistants the task of doing the bulletin boards. "We noticed you don't have one in your area," the principal told me with concern, so we're having one installed."

By then, I was no longer team leader, and I had a great idea for our board. It was called "Advice from Dolphin," since we were the Dolphin Team, and was based on the "Advice from Nature" series of posters by Ilan Shamir, combining his poetic guidance with practical suggestions from former students. One of the maxims in his poem is, "Find your life's porpoise."

Evidently? One of mine has to do with bulletin boards.

Wednesday, August 26, 2026

On Call

I waited three days into the new school year to put in an appearance at my old school. In my defense? I probably could have stayed away a little longer, except my friend and former colleague texted me to request an assist on his bulletin board.

"I thought you'd never ask!" I replied.

That was our story, and we stuck with it today as we strolled through the bustling halls of teachers getting ready for the first day on Monday.

"It's so nice of you to help out!" another friend said as we were catching up.

"It's practically a tradition," I answered. "This is the third year in a row we've done it."

"Wow!" she replied. "That means this is your third year of retirement!" She shook her head in amazement.

"But if you ever just want to see her," the first friend said, "text and say it's your bulletin board."

"That's right!" I laughed. "I'll come right over."

Tuesday, August 25, 2026

Found in Translation

I recently stumbled across access to some cooking magazines in other languages through my public library account. Not that I'm proficient in any language other than English, but when it comes to cuisine, my knowledge of cooking and basic familiarity with some of the languages I learned and lived with in school are almost enough to decipher the recipes. Some of the techniques and ingredients are uncommon here in the States, and that's really what I love about spending the time it takes to figure out how to prepare the dishes. 

Today, though, it occurred to me that there is an easier way. I was using a search engine on my laptop to translate some of the ingredients in Italy's premier cooking magazine, GialloZafferano (literally Yellow Saffron), when I thought to try the Google Lens translation feature on my phone. All I had to do was hold my phone up to the screen, and the Italian was magically decoded into English. Because recipes are so simple, syntax, which is the trickiest part of an automated translator, is barely a problem. I could even screenshot the translation if I wanted to save the recipe to try later.

It was amazing! And I spent a happy hour or so virtually leafing through a couple of magazines I've never had the pleasure of reading before!

P.S. Baci makes gelato ice cream cones! But they aren't available in our area.

Monday, August 24, 2026

A Wee Touch of the FOMO

I was a little sad when Heidi left for school this morning, and I think it was a combination of missing her and missing having a place to be.

And since I had a temporary gig at my old school last spring, I'm still on the staff email, so I'm right in the loop as teachers return today for preservice week. I confess I opened the agenda for the faculty meeting, looked through the slide deck to see how everybody introduced themselves, and checked the master schedule to see who was teaching what and with whom. 

After two years of retirement, I would have thought I was done with all that. Maybe next year? And I do have bread to knead, floors to vacuum, a garden to weed, a workout to do, and a dog to walk on this lovely day, so who am I to complain?

Sunday, August 23, 2026

Baby Sun Signs

It's been day-to-day for our friend who is nearing the end of her pregnancy. She has a C-section scheduled for September 1, but it's likely that Pebbles, as we affectionately call the infant-to-be, will make her appearance before that. Of course, we are excited to welcome a new baby into our friend circle, and we have been getting daily reports on how likely it is that we will meet her sooner rather than later. 

As part of that conversation, I've been contributing astrological information. "If she comes this week," I told her mom as we were floating in the pool the other day, "Pebbles will be a Leo."

"I don't know what that means." My friend shook her head.

"Well..." I started, considering how to put it. "Leos are brave and bold, like a lion. They have big personalities."

She smiled and nodded.

"They can also be willful and stubborn," I added.

"I'm stubborn enough," my friend sighed. "She might just take after me."

"If she's born next week, though," I said, "she'll be a Virgo."

"And that means?" my friend asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Virgos like routine," I told her. "They are generally calm and practical, also observant and helpful."

"I can get behind that!" she laughed. "That would totally work in our family."

And so, when this morning passed with no word of a new baby, Heidi texted. "Congratulations! Pebbles is officially a Virgo!"

Saturday, August 22, 2026

Stick Your Head in Gravy

The past couple of days have brought the inconvenience of resurfacing the parking lot in our condo community. To be honest, I felt the paving company did its best to accommodate us by splitting the job into two parts, so part of the lot was available at all times. 

But it's hard to account for weather, uninformed neighbors, and a perception of scarcity, so the whole experience kind of devolved into a shit show, complete with tow trucks, verbal altercations, and outright outrage at what was really no more than a nuisance. The entire project actually ended up being done on schedule.

So this morning, when I was moving both our cars and a neighbor's, who was out of town, back into the complex, I gasped when I saw the sandwich board that sits on the driveway and provides basic information for the community in a light tone. Someone had stripped it of its message describing the paving project as "just a bump in the road" and repurposed the letters to express their frustration with our management company:

Friday, August 21, 2026

Differing Priorities

As we drove north on the Parkway, we could see the glint of the gilded statues across the bridge (šŸ·️ $5.1 million) leading the way to the Lincoln Memorial and the botched reflecting pool restoration (šŸ·️ $16 million, so far). We knew street closures and other security and route preparations were underway (šŸ·️ $125 million) for the IndyCar road race on Sunday, so we stayed on our side of the river. 

Arriving at Great Falls National Park, I was appalled to see that entrance fees had risen to $20 per car, and I was glad I had a lifetime pass. Once we parked and unloaded Lucy, we strolled south from the parking lot toward the visitor center, overlooks, and trails. The disrepair we encountered along the way was notable. In the ladies' room, several sinks were broken, stalls were marked out of order, and many of the split rails marking the trail boundaries were broken or missing. All of the water fountains had notices informing patrons that the water was untested and not safe to drink. There were also many unemptied waste baskets and broken picnic tables. I sighed and hoped conditions would be better once we were on the trail, but along the way we found boardwalks, bridges, and stairs with rotting and missing boards, not to mention faded and missing trail blazes.

The operating budget for the park is roughly 3-5 million dollars a year, which is generally covered by the visitor fee revenues. However, in the last two years, much of that revenue has been diverted for other "beautification" projects in and around Washington, D.C. Added to that are the 25% cuts all national parks have faced during the same period.

That? Is a travesty.

Thursday, August 20, 2026

Errand Day

Stop 1: The Post Office

"Drop this in there," I told Heidi, handing her the prepaid box and gesturing to the big silver door on the package bin. 

"Just put it in?" she asked. "Then what?"

"Close it," I advised. "It will drop when you do." She was skeptical, and I laughed when she opened it back up and peeked in to be sure, because I do that every single time.

Stop 2: The Pet Store

"We'll take one of these, too," I said, handing a reusable bag to the cashier.

"There's no tag," she noted, and so I compliantly found another bag that had one.

"Just ring this one, and give us the one without the tag," I suggested helpfully. "That way you can avoid this situation next time."

She nodded and pulled the trigger of her scanning gun. Nothing happened. She tapped the monitor on her register a few times, but without success. Next, she called to a coworker, but he couldn't do it either and went to fetch the manager.

"They're free!" he called from the door of his office.

"Great!" I laughed. "We'll take ten."

Stop 3: The Off-Price Department Store

"I'm hungry," I said to Heidi as we waited in line. "These look good," I continued, grabbing a bag of "probiotic chocolates" from the displays that lined our way to the register. 

Flipping over the bag, I read the origin story out loud. I love chocolate, it started. I love my gut, it continued. So I followed my gut and made a bite that loves both.

"Sold!" my hunger replied, and I tossed them in the cart.

Stop 4: The Grocery Store

"I need to run to the ladies' room," I told Heidi as we wheeled our cart in, and I peeled off through the cafe seating. 

On my way to the facilities, I passed several people on laptops, four tables of families eating lunch, an eight-top of women laughing and chatting in Vietnamese, three ladies playing Mahjong, and a couple of guys a few years older than me playing Risk.

All that and groceries, too!

Last stop: Home

I'm going to miss running errands with Heidi when she goes back to work!

Wednesday, August 19, 2026

Live Demonstration

I looked up at the light tapping on my kitchen window. "Sorry," a young man mouthed, then crooked his finger at me to come to the door.

Noting the plumbing company logo on his hat, I nodded, then wiped my hands and went to see what he wanted. I assumed they were there to fix the common spigot in the courtyard, which had sprayed everywhere when Heidi and I tried to use it to hose off our floor mats.

"It seems to be working," he said, showing me the fixture. He turned the hose on, and his partner picked it up and gestured to the water flowing freely through it. "If this black ring is up, though," he pointed to a fixture on the spigot, "it might leak."

"The problem is that if there is a nozzle or any other pressure on the hose, the ring slips and it sprays everywhere," I told him.

"Like this?" His partner bent the hose to create some pressure on the line, and the black ring flipped up, spraying water all over me.

Both plumbers looked at me wide-eyed.

"I'm so sorry--" the guy with the hose started, but stopped when he saw me laughing.

"It's fine," I said, shaking off the water. "Refreshing! And even better? You can see the problem for yourself!"

Tuesday, August 18, 2026

Open and Closed

"If it's an open casket, I'm not going up," Mimi told us as we got in the car for the drive out to the funeral home in Manassas for French's memorial gathering. She shook her head. “The last body I saw was my mother's after she passed, and I told myself that was enough for one lifetime."

We completely understood, and as we drove, I thought about how old-fashioned such a practice seems these days. Obviously, I respect any grieving family's choice in deciding how best to honor their loss, and I understand that people find closure and comfort in the tradition of seeing their loved one at rest. 

I don't find the practice shocking or morbid, but it does make me uncomfortable and, of course, sad to view the dead, and that was so today as well. 

"He looks pretty good," I told Mimi after Heidi and I had returned to our seats, which was true, based on my limited experience. 

"I'm glad," she said, "but I don't want to see."

I admired her self-awareness, and she does have a good point. 

Monday, August 17, 2026

Quick Turn Around

We went into Heidi's classroom today to replace the furniture after the summer deep clean and floor waxing. With help from her colleague Maggie, the three of us made quick work of the job, even with extra time for Heidi and Maggie to tweak the layout and order a few new items. 

The office staff seemed happy to have the extra company to break up the quiet of summer in a school, and they were chatty both when we arrived and when we left. "See you in a week!" they said cheerfully as we headed out into the mid-August afternoon. 

A week! I thought and shook my head. This year, school starts as late as it possibly can, given that Labor Day is September 7. But really? 

Where has the summer gone?

Sunday, August 16, 2026

Fourth Time's the Charm

"You're the fourth guy who's tried to do the job," I told the deliveryman this morning. "I hope you can do it!"

"Four? Why?" he scoffed.

"No stacking kit, wrong stacking kit, short hoses," I sighed. "But I've got everything now." I gestured to the stacking kits and hoses piled neatly in the corner.

"How did he know he needed longer hoses if he never even pulled the machines out?" he asked.

"I don't know." I shrugged. "Maybe he just didn't want to carry them up the stairs."

"This is no problem," the guy assured me. 

And he was right! In less than 30 minutes, he and his partner had everything installed and running. "I hope you have the receipts for those," he pointed to the hoses and extra stacking kit.

"Oh, I do," I told him. "I sure do."

Saturday, August 15, 2026

Broken Delivery Chain

We had the stacking kit ready to go when the delivery crew pulled up with our washer and dryer. As before, they sent an emissary to make first contact and scope out the job. To be honest, I didn't detect any change in his demeanor as we headed up the steps, but when we hit the landing and he eyed the installation space, he started talking fast. The upshot? They couldn't possibly install the appliances unless by some chance, we had longer hoses for the washer. 

He helpfully pulled out his phone and showed me the part. "It's standard," he reported. "You can get it anywhere." 

I proposed running to the nearest hardware store while they pulled the existing washer and dryer to haul away. "I can be right back."

"We can't wait," he told me. 

"Where are the rest of your jobs for the day?" I asked. "Can you come back?" 

He promised to speak to his dispatcher. "Not gonna lie," he shook his head sadly. "Prolly won't be possible."

And before the truck had pulled away, the job was marked "missed delivery." 

Even so, I went and got the hoses, hoping against hope that we would be able to do some laundry today, and then I called the company we had ordered from and firmly requested that they contact the "delivery partner" and direct them to add us to the end of the route. The agent put me on hold, and a few minutes later came back and reported my request was impossible. "Then cancel my order," I told him.

While I'd been waiting, I'd found the washer dryer ready to be purchased, delivered, and installed tomorrow from another purveyor. I have the hoses and the stacking kit, and the delivery window is 8 am to noon. 

"I don't believe it," Heidi said, and off she went to a neighbor's to wash a couple of loads of laundry.

Friday, August 14, 2026

Milkweed Munchers

At first, I thought it was a big pollen bloom. The vining milkweed, which really is a weed in our garden, the volunteer swamp milkweed, and the common milkweed were all covered in a coarse, bright yellow dust. But as I cleared the fence line, I became curious about the nature of this incursion, and so I did a photo search. 









It wasn't until I got the results that I pinched open the picture to magnify the canary-hued grains. 









They were bugs! Oleander aphids, to be exact, an invasive species from the Mediterranean that targets milkweed. The article I found assured me they probably wouldn't harm the milkweed, or any Monarch eggs or larvae sharing the plant with them, but they do compete for the same food source, absorbing toxins from the plant to make themselves taste gross to predators. That's why they are so brightly colored; it's a warning. Also, there are no male oleander aphids; they are all female clones, and they are born pregnant, which explains the rapid rate of infestation. 

That is borderline cool and yucky. I disposed of many of them in the course of weeding the garden, but there are still plenty around. Maybe a swarm of ladybugs will arrive next and gobble them all up.

Thursday, August 13, 2026

Stacked Against Us

Managing an appliance malfunction always seems to be a dilemma these days. Most machines are not designed to last much more than a decade, and scheduling a technician usually requires at least a week's lead time. Then the question becomes one of cost and time efficiency: how much will the repair be, and how long will it take to secure the part, versus how much and how long it would take to simply replace the appliance.

That's where we were on Saturday when the digital LED display on our washer stopped responding. After clearing and draining several tubes and reservoirs, scanning the error codes, consulting the manual and the internet, as well as implementing the old standby of unplugging and rebooting, all to no avail, we were faced with just such a dilemma. The issue seemed to be a circuit board assembly or interface, and the repair was estimated at hundreds of dollars once the part was identified and secured, which could take a couple of weeks.

The sensible choice seemed to be to replace the washer with its newest version, which I did, delighted that it could be delivered and installed by Tuesday. On the morning our new washer was to arrive, we cleared our entry hallway and landing so that the installers could do their work, then settled in to wait out the four-hour window.

When at last they arrived, they never even took the washer off the truck. We needed a new stacking kit-- the one that held our washer and dryer was not acceptable. Also, since the dryer was on top of the washer, we would need to schedule and pay for the dryer's removal and reinstallation, too. As the delivery truck drove away, I canceled the order and began to shop elsewhere. 

We decided it might be prudent to replace both the washer and dryer at the same time, given that the dryer could fail at any time and the compatibility issues involved. And I was delighted to find a pair that could be delivered and installed today. When I purchased the stacking duo, I did not select the storage pedestal option because our space would not accommodate the extra height. Unfortunately, that was where I needed to check the box for the stacking kit, and when the delivery man called me this afternoon, he asked where they were to be installed because "We don't have the stacking kit on the truck."

Damn! It happened again. And so we are on to Saturday, when they will be delivered and installed at the earliest possible time. Oh, and I'm going to the big box store tomorrow, where I will pick that effing stacking kit up myself.

Wednesday, August 12, 2026

Seasonal and Cassoulet Adjacent

Craving protein and an empty freezer, I concocted a summer cassoulet for supper. White beans, one pork chop, a couple of chicken thighs, some authentic Buffalo white hots (white hot dogs, not spicy at all but a little like the bratwurst from the Zurich train station), and an assortment of summer veggies all came together for a light but hearty stew. Served with some toasted homemade sourdough and a tossed salad, it was actually a perfect summer meal.

Tuesday, August 11, 2026

And that Mustache

"I don't think I would have recognized him!" my 89-year-old aunt said today as I showed her my nephew's wedding pictures. She paused and examined the picture more carefully. "He does look like Bill, though, especially in the mouth."

"That is Bill!" I laughed.

"Oh my gosh," she laughed, too. "But look at his hair! No gray! And that mustache! He looks great!"

"I'll tell him you said so," I replied.

Did you hear that, Bill?

Monday, August 10, 2026

Well Prompted

I let the algorithm choose my workout music this afternoon, and for the most part, the so-called "personalized set of upbeat music" was pretty good. I did have to skip a few clunkers early on, but soon I was moving to some nice pop tracks from the 70s and 80s, a few that I love but haven't listened to in a while. And I laughed out loud when, as I was doing a cooldown on the rowing machine, Neil Diamond serenaded me with his lesser-known song, "The Boat that I Row." Who says AI doesn't have a sense of humor?

Sunday, August 9, 2026

So Long, Mr. French

It's rarely good news when the phone rings unexpectedly right at 8 AM on a Sunday morning, and today was no different. "It's French," I said to a half-asleep Heidi when her screen lit up and the Looney Toons ringtone blared out.

But it wasn't French, Heidi's friend and mentor of over 30 years. It was his wife, calling ot say that there had been an accident and he had died on Friday. He'd been trimming trees from the balcony of his home and had somehow tumbled over the railing, causing severe spinal injury. He was the only one at home, and when the neighbors found him some time later and called 911, they could not stabilize him, and he died. He was just a couple of weeks short of his 73rd birthday, which seems too young to us now.

"Oh my God," was all Heidi said for most of the call, and then, "I'm so sorry." 

Later, I felt sure I knew the exact moment when he died. I came home Friday afternoon and heard the Avett Brothers' No Hard Feelings playing upstairs. Heidi rarely listens to the song, but that day, she played it twice. I came in toward the end of the second time, and when I heard the words When my body won't hold me anymore, and it finally lets me free, where will I go? I got a chill.

The next lyrics have always comforted me, though. 

Will the trade winds take me south through Georgia grain?
Or tropical rain? Or snow from the heavens?
Will I join with the ocean blue?
Or run into a savior true? And shake hands laughing,
And walk through the night, straight to the light,
Holding the love I've known in my life,
And no hard feelings.

Safe travels, French. 

Saturday, August 8, 2026

Epic Epic

We saw The Odyssey this morning. It was a lot. A lot of noise, fighting, monsters and remonstrating, storms, beards, killing, and more. But my recent preoccupation with geography and history, a la travle.earth and other online games kept me wondering distractedly, Where in the world is Odysseus? 

Friday, August 7, 2026

The Sum of its Parts

My friend Ruth, who has a summer place in Maine, introduced me to one of her family's favorite summer desserts, gingerbread with wild blueberries. It's a surprisingly tasty combination, but the sharp warmth of the ginger complements the tart sweetness of the berries, and she usually bakes it right after we've been berry picking, which is very satisfying. 

A few weeks ago, my friend Brandon showed me the cookie cookbook he and his son Charlie have been exploring all summer. Some of the techniques were intriguing, especially the use of brown butter, and I snapped a few pics of recipes to try, most notably brown sugar cookies and classic chewy oatmeal.

And then, I had all those blueberries! I froze a bunch and made a blueberry spoonbread that my brother had served and was delicious as well as coincidentally gluten-free, made with almond flour and cornmeal whose dense richness was a perfect venue for the jammy Jersey berries. But with plenty of berries still left, I decided to pull out my dehydrator and see what I got.

The outcome was sort of raisiny, definitely not as cloying as the sweetened product you will get should you buy dried blueberries at the grocery. I stored them in a Mason jar on my counter and spent the next few days pondering how best to use them. What I came up with was a mash-up of the gingerbread and oatmeal cookies. I swapped the cinnamon in the cookies for a combo of dried and fresh ginger, kept the brown butter and dark brown sugar, and used my dried blueberries in place of the raisins. 

I ended up with a really good cookie, and a reminder of fun times spent with some really good friends, too.

Thursday, August 6, 2026

Sucker

"I hate the county fair!" I said to Heidi the other day. She nodded, because we have this conversation every summer.

I was responding to the cumulative inconvenience of the gym and rec center being closed for 2 weeks and the mess that's usually left at the fairgrounds, which are our former school. The smell of garbage, divots and truck tracks on the playing fields, and cooking oil stains on the sidewalks greeted teachers when we returned at the end of August and lasted for weeks after the fair closed.

Plus? It's so inconvenient to get there! I feel irrationally resentful of having to take a shuttle bus to the place I spent most of my time for the better part of 31 years.

So I was surprised by the inadvertent thrill I got today on my way to the gym when I saw the first of the brightly colored rides and concessions lined up for unloading in the parking lot. I pictured the midway at night with its thousands of lights, the screams from the rides, the laughter from the games, and all the people strolling excitedly through the grounds. I thought of the bands that would play, the local agriculture exhibits and competitions, and the beer garden. It actually seemed like it might be a fun time.

"Oh my gosh!" I thought. "I don't hate the fair!"

Wednesday, August 5, 2026

The Right Questions

Larchmont Farms. The name came unbidden into my mind as I enjoyed my breakfast of fresh, sliced peaches. Was that the place Mom took us to pick peaches and apples? I wondered. 

I did have a powerful computer in my hand, so I swiped open my phone and searched for the farm in New Jersey. It was much farther away from our home than I would have thought, and a further search informed me that they did not have any pick-your-own crops available. 

Did they ever have pyo? I asked the AI function but was informed that it had always been a commercial wholesale farm. 

What are some pick-your-own places near Willingboro? I asked next and was provided with a list of places that did not sound familiar in the least. 

Which of those were open in the 70s? I queried, and that narrowed the names down, but still, none rang a bell. 

Are there any pyo operations from the 70s that have since closed? I asked. Again, the list was substantial, but not what I was looking for. 

Finally, I sighed and typed, I remember riding on a flat-bed truck out into the orchards to pick peaches and apples. 

And AI really delivered! Here's what I found, complete with source citations from the NY Times and local history sites:

That vivid memory of riding a flatbed truck out into the rows of peach trees in the early 1970s almost certainly took place at the original Larchmont Farms orchard grounds in Mount Laurel, New Jersey. While that specific orchard property is gone today, the history lines up perfectly with your memory of a unique peach-picking tractor ride right near Willingboro. 
Why Your Memory Lines Up Perfectly:

The Location: Long before moving their central operations down to Elmer, NJ, the Haines family operated their sprawling, primary Larchmont Farms peach and apple orchards right in Mount Laurel. This sat directly adjacent to Willingboro—making it just a brief few minutes' drive down the road for local families. 

The 1969/1970s Timeline: As noted in historical regional records, a massive, devastating hailstorm battered the region on July 3, 1969. The hail cosmetically scarred the skins of the ripening peaches and apples. Supermarkets refused to buy the "ugly" fruit, prompting the Haines family to completely pivot. They opened up their massive commercial orchards to the public for an unprecedented, emergency pick-your-own harvest event that spilled over heavily into the early 1970s. 

The Flatbed Tractor Ride: Because Larchmont Farms was an enormous commercial wholesale operation spanning hundreds of acres, it lacked the simple walking paths of small family farms. To get the thousands of local suburban families out into the deep, expansive rows of stone fruit trees, they utilized their industrial farm equipment—hooking up large flatbed orchard trailers and wagons to transport public pickers straight into the fields.

Tuesday, August 4, 2026

Buy Jiminy!

As Heidi paid for our dog food, I wandered over to a sign posted on the wall of the pet store. Due to an issue with the vendor," it read, "crickets will not be available until further notice."

"Uh oh," I pointed to the sign, "Looks like it's time to get into the cricket business."

The cashier laughed and rolled her eyes. "Sooo many people are upset," she told us.

"How long has this shortage been going on?" I asked.

"Oh," she shook her head, "it's been a good three weeks. And people are still asking every day."

"All right then," I said decisively, "I'll have to start my cricket ranch right away!"

"Yasssssss," she replied. "We're going to need small, medium, and large."

Monday, August 3, 2026

Straight Up Crooked

I had the bright idea of adding shelves to our deck by screwing brackets into the 4x1 upper brackets. It worked beautifully on the back railing, so I bought another shelf board to add to the side. I brought the level out to make sure my work was true, but when I stepped back, the shelf was crooked. I put the level back, but the bubble was perfectly balanced in the center of the hash marks, so I stepped back again and literally scratched my head. 

I moved the level to the rail cap so I could take the shelf down, and I saw what the problem was. The whole railing is slanted toward the house, and so the shelf was objectively level, but crooked relative to the railing. I decided I'd rather keep it level, but dang! Every time I look out there, I see what appears to be a terribly sloping shelf. 

Sigh. I might have to "fix" that.

Sunday, August 2, 2026

Well Groomed

That smells great! I thought to myself and glanced down the line of treadmills. Somebody was wearing a scent I really liked—warm with a little musk, but not too spicy or powdery. A little while later, I caught another whiff of it, and it honestly made my workout a bit nicer. 

It was pouring rain when I pushed my way through the plate-glass doors, and I got drenched as I dashed to the car. Dripping in the driver's seat, I opened the console and pulled out the little hairbrush we keep in there to comb my wet hair out of my eyes. As I did so? That same pleasant scent wafted through the car. 

I realized that it was my hair product, and had been all along; the smell was released by my sweating. At least I don't stink today! I thought and headed home.

Saturday, August 1, 2026

Not Cool, Cats

The weekend schedule is a little more relaxed around our house, even in the summer. Most weekdays, Heidi gets up before six to walk with a friend and make sure Lucy has exercise well before the hottest part of the day. 

On Saturday and Sunday, then, she can be forgiven for trying to catch up on her rest and sleeping in. Lucy has no problem with that arrangement: it's been years since she got up even one second earlier than Heidi. The cats, however, have a different opinion altogether. It is usually me to whom they express their displeasure, yowling by the door to the deck as I make my coffee, and scratching furniture if that doesn't work. 

This morning, they had both been outside a couple of times before Heidi and Lucy made their appearance, but they were outraged, as usual, that the dog went out and she and Heidi took a walk before anyone was fed. I heard them fussing by the front door a little while later, and couldn't imagine why they were directing their fury there until voices drifted in, and I realized that Heidi was right outside, visiting with the neighbors. 

It wasn't a brief conversation, and I thought the cats were going to lose it, meowing loudly and scratching at the door, before Heidi came inside. I shook my head and looked at the clock. It wasn't even 10 am yet, but I guess that's late when you're used to eating at 7.

Friday, July 31, 2026

Not as Sharp as They Used to Be

I ran by the grocery store this afternoon after I was finished at the gym. The last gym I belonged to was right next to a big grocery store, and I often picked up a few things before heading home. Then, there seemed to be several other sweaty patrons like me, and the proximity to the gym was its own explanation. 

Today I felt a little self-conscious, though, because I had to drive to the store from the gym, and it seemed like I was the only shopper in damp workout duds. I didn't think I smelled too bad, but I kept my distance from other people as best I could, in case. I was reminded of a joke my grandfather used to tell.

An old lady went to the doctor, and when he asked her how she was, she said, "Fine, except I've been passing gas a lot lately. It's silent and odorless, though." She paused, "Oh, it just happened!"she reported.

The doctor nodded, prescribed some medication, and told her to come back in a week.

"How are you?" he asked at her next appointment.

"Okay," she answered. "I'm still gassy, though, and they are still silent, but now they really stink!"

"Well, we've fixed your sense of smell," he told her. "Time to work on your hearing."

Thursday, July 30, 2026

DC Downer

There was some debate this morning as we tried to determine the best way to meet friends at the Lincoln Memorial to tour the new undercroft exhibit. Finding a parking space would be time-consuming and inconvenient, especially since we had lunch reservations at Equinox later. We considered driving to Pentagon City and parking so that we could metro, but the closest station was Arlington Cemetery, which required crossing Memorial Bridge on foot. 

We weren't against that, but the trip would take nearly an hour and a half. In the end, we decided to Uber, which would be comparable to paying for parking and subway fares for two, and Emily drove down and joined us, so it turned out to be quite reasonable and quick, too. Even though I didn't realize I had mistakenly booked the car for 11 PM instead of AM until 10:50, our Uber came by 11 AM anyway, and we were crossing Memorial Bridge by car 10 minutes later. 

As we neared the Lincoln Memorial, we were blinded by the new gilding on the statues flanking the bridge. The shiny gold looked gaudy and cheap under the breezy blue July sky. The new National Service Monument was a surprise, too: a pair of big boxy structures blocked the left and right sides of the stairs from the drained reflecting pool to the memorial. It is a temporary installation made of stone-facsimile-covered plywood and LED screens, sponsored by USAA and designed to honor every service member ever. I had the impression that many people would be glad when it is dismantled on August 23, although it was awkward to speak freely in the company of all the USAA employees and National Guardsmen surrounding it. 

The security to enter the Undercroft was very robust, and both Heidi and Emily were searched thoroughly. Unfortunately? The new space was underwhelming to me, poorly designed and organized. The promised film was brief and with very little substance, and I was disappointed by what I had hoped would be a cool new experience.

In general, the whole trip left me with a sense of wasteful decadence and the decay of the dignity that has always been a hallmark of any trip to the National Mall. 

Wednesday, July 29, 2026

Two Birds

I picked up my ukulele today for the first time in months. I think I was inspired by all the musicians at Vic and Julie's wedding, but it could have been the 30 minutes I spent singing "Friend of the Devil" to myself as I walked Lucy this afternoon. I just got it into my head that I could play it and sing it, and briefly even imagined being confident enough to have performed at the jam session after the rehearsal dinner.

"Can you play?" my friend from high school asked when she was here a few weeks ago and noticed my ukulele.

"Not really," I shrugged. "But I do work on it sometimes," I laughed.

"For me music is like a foreign language that just never clicks," she said, and I realized I felt the same way. 

Despite the years of French I took, I never achieved anything near fluency. "She's very good at the class," my high school teacher told my parents. "She probably just needs to get drunk in France and start talking!" 

It was the 70s, and no one considered the advice unsuitable in the least. Plus? She may have been right. Even though I continued taking French in college, I never did get over the fluency hump.

I'm not sure if music is the same way. I do know that I've been strumming away on my ukulele on and off for nearly 15 years. I've even had lessons, and I still can't say I play. Maybe I just need to get drunk in French Polynesia.

Tuesday, July 28, 2026

Eye Roll Please

At first,  Lucy was happy to see us when we got back yesterday after nearly six days away. But soon she remembered how put out she was to have been left behind. Cue the heavy sighs and bombastic side-eye, which we were subjected to well into this morning.

Monday, July 27, 2026

Make Me a Cake

Courtney, Heidi, and I spent a fair portion of our time in Michigan working on our assigned task, the wedding cake. We had done some research in advance: exchanging photo ideas, recipes, and YouTube videos about assembling and decorating a tiered cake. Courtney also contacted the venue, a beautiful church that had been converted to a brewery and restaurant, and they generously arranged a work area and some space in the walk-in for us to use. 

So we were not unprepared on Friday afternoon when we arrived, as they were closing down the beer brewing operation for the weekend. Our plan was to fill and frost the layers so they would be ready for assembly the next day, and we started by chopping and macerating the strawberries and whipping some cream stabilized with cream cheese and meringue powder. We only had a couple of hours before the rehearsal dinner, but we accomplished our mission for the day and left the three layers on their cake boards, filled and frosted with a bottom coat. 

The next day was the wedding, and we got over there around noon, ready to assemble and add preliminary decorations. These tasks were a bit trickier, involving cutting cake dowels to size and using a skewer to punch through the cardboard rounds the second and third tiers were sitting on. The whipped cream was softer than we hoped, and considerably less stable than the buttercream they used in the videos, but we were making a strawberry shortcake, so we had to work with what we had. 

It was also challenging to thread the cake dowels through the skewer holes, so they weren't as tight in the cake as we wanted, and it was a little wobbly. Even so, our model had always been a less constructed, more organic look, which we definitely achieved. We had ordered some edible butterflies to go with the insect-theme of the wedding (a riff on how the couple had met, their shared love of performance art, and deconstructing classic princess iconography) and, as a tribute to their musical backgrounds, ribbons of edible musical notes to go around one or two of the layers. We had strawberries and fresh flowers, too, but the final decorations would have to wait until after the ceremony, and we dashed back to the rental house to change for the wedding. 

As the reception was warming up on the patio, we were shivering in the cooler in our summer dresses and sneakers, adding bugs, fruit, and flowers to our masterpiece, emerging a few minutes before everyone was summoned inside for dinner. The restaurant staff did the rest-- bringing the cake up a little while before the cutting so all the guests could admire it. 

And they did! Although one of the bride's more musical friends told us the notes we had so carefully placed were the song Happy Birthday. Honestly, it never occurred to us as non-musicians to even consider them beyond their decorative value, but he had been hoping for a more intentional Easter Egg experience. 

Our research told us that a cake that size should feed between 100 and 120 guests, but every crumb was gone within minutes of cutting it. A friend told Heidi and me that it was the first time she had ever finished a piece of wedding cake; it was that good, so light and delicious. 

As happy as we were at how it turned out, and as relieved as we were that we had accomplished our task, I couldn't help wishing I could make another wedding cake. We'd learned so much, and I had lots of ideas for ways that we could improve the process, and not just by finding more appropriate music!


Sunday, July 26, 2026

Van Go

The minivan we rented is a hybrid model of a make I have never driven before. As such, using some of the features and controls has been a bit of a learning curve. For example, there is just a large knob on the center console that changes gears from Drive to Neutral and Reverse, with a button in the middle for Park. In addition, starting the car does not mean starting the engine, so once the start button has been pushed, the van waits silently for the driver to turn that knob and be on the way. 

Cutting the car off is equally without those familiar audible signifiers that the journey is over. The first morning we were here, I happened to look down the driveway from the backyard and noticed that the lights were on. The van had been unlocked in ready mode for hours. 

Without the keys, I doubt anyone could have gotten very far, but still. After that, I made sure to wait for the screen to go off after pressing the power-off button on the dashboard, and enlisted one of my passengers, often my sister, to check that the doors were locked after I stepped away with the key fob. The series of normally unnecessary steps turns parking into a kind of slapstick routine, especially when you're in and out of the van all day running wedding errands. 

At one of our many stops the other day, my sister had to take a phone call and elected to stay in the van while Heidi and I ran into the store. 

"You can leave it running with the a/c on," she said.

"Great!" I answered. "I definitely know how to do that."

Saturday, July 25, 2026

They Do

And they did! A magical time was had by all, and there were even fireflies. 



Friday, July 24, 2026

The Chair

The vacation rental my brother booked for the wedding this weekend in Ann Arbor is definitely one of the wackier places we have stayed. The mid-century ranch house had a modicum of curb appeal, although our first impressions upon entering were a bit skeptical. 

It has been remodeled, but in a haphazard, DIY kind of a way. For example, there are five different types of flooring on the main level, and it isn't that big. And the curtains over the front picture windows are unabashedly secured with jumbo binder clips. The house had also been closed up for a while and was a little musty. 

But the nuttiest feature of all is the industrial-grade massage chair, the only other piece of furniture in the living room besides the leather sectional. It looks like an updated version of a medieval torture device, complete with a remote control. Of course we had to try it! The first night we all laughed hysterically as Treat sat in the chair narrating his experience as it hummed and farted, squeezing and pummeling him from shoulder to toe. 

For a while, the record for the longest time endured in it was 7 minutes, but Treat finally managed to withstand an entire 30-minute session late last evening. It's definitely not functional as regular furniture, but it makes up for it in conversation and entertainment!

Post Script: We were looking online for a manual to explain how to activate some of the chair's features we couldn't figure out when I landed on the merchandise page of the company who manfactured it. Actual retail value? 14 grand! Woof. I'm glad we didn't break it.

Thursday, July 23, 2026

M Minus 2 Days

The weather was glorious today as we barreled around Ann Arbor running all sorts of wedding errands. The minivan did not disappoint, as any number from 2-6 of us and all the treasures for our big day projects piled in and out, here and there, back and forth, and all over town. At one point, we drove, windows down, along roads lined with woods and prairie plantings, past a former Esso gas station built in 1927 to resemble a gatehouse and turned into a coffee shop, and through the campus of U Michigan, the back of the van loaded with three buckets of flowers and six cake layers. We may not be super focused, but? We're here! And ready to do our part.

Wednesday, July 22, 2026

Blueberry Blues

I was just about to get into the shower before leaving for the airport when I received a notification that my blueberries had been delivered. No! I panicked. Those are supposed to come next Wednesday! 

It didn't matter whose miscommunication it was, mine or the dairy folks' or both, because when I checked the milkbox, there they were, three pounds of New Jersey's best blueberries in what seemed to be an enormous box, and at that point? They were mine. 

Fortunately, I had cleaned out the refrigerator in anticipation of having a housesitter staying for the next five days, and there was some room in the freezer, too. Plus, we hadn't eaten breakfast yet, which became a blueberry smoothie for me and yogurt and blueberries for Heidi. I put three quarts in the freezer, and a 9x13 cake pan with a lid full of berries in the fridge, then, as an extra measure, put the box out for recycling and hopped in the shower. 

Oh, I know I'll be happy to have all those berries next week when we get back, blueberry jam, blueberry muffins, blueberry galette, and all that, but my original plan was so much more elegant.

Tuesday, July 21, 2026

Out of My League

I reported to the bowling center as directed, 15 minutes before the league start time, to register as a substitute bowler. As I waited for the manager to sign me in, I scanned the crowd. At least ten of the bowlers from my regular league were there, and they waved and welcomed me to the Summer Owl League. "There are only 2 people per team," someone told me, "so it goes pretty fast."

I found my partner and lane, and sat down to change my shoes before warm-up. Both of our opponents for the week were on my regular league, so I felt comfortable right away. The teams on the lanes to our left and right started to warm up, and I realized how out of balance the competition could have been. "Do you bowl against everybody?" I asked incredulously as a guy next to me threw his fourth practice strike.

"Just the luck of the draw," one of the women told me fatalistically, eyeing the teams around us. 

"I guess that's why we have handicaps," I shrugged.

She nodded. "It levels the lanes, doesn't it?" she replied over the thunder of the pins around us.

Monday, July 20, 2026

High Tech, Low Arches

After we got our toenails done for the wedding next Saturday, Heidi wanted to go shoe shopping, so we headed over to the big-box shoe store and trolled the aisles for a nice pair of heeled sandals to go with the dress she's wearing. After a while, I wandered over to clearance and found some glittery platform slides on sale, and the two of us were headed to the checkout when I spotted the foot scanner. 

Even though I was anxious to pay and be on our way, I couldn't resist! I slipped off my flip flops, stepped on the pad in the middle of the sensors, and followed the on-screen directions. In 20 seconds, I had the report detailing the length, width, girth, arch, and instep height of each foot, plus the percentiles those measurements fell into. There was also an option to dig deeper with even more granular data, which you could also have sent to your email. 

And of course! There were shoe and orthotic recommendations, many of which you could buy on the spot. We left without adding to our purchases, but as we walked to the car, Heidi thanked me for going with her. "I know you don't love shopping," she said, "but I feel much better about my outfit now that I have these."

"You're welcome," I said. "But to be honest, I did find a bargain pair of shoes myself, and plus? The scan made the trip worth it!"

Sunday, July 19, 2026

Conquistadors

I wasn't going to watch it. 

But stuff happens, and my plans to go to the gym were railroaded by a late start and Heidi's previous commitment, and blah blah, blah, I tuned into the World Cup final about 30 minutes into the match, just to kill a little time and perhaps engage with 4 billion of my fellow humans in this global phenomenon. 

It was mesmerizing.

The crisp Spanish offense pitted against the disciplined Argentine team captivated me in a way I did not expect.  And the players? So resolute and strong and kind of cute in a he-could-totally-be-my-former-student way. I couldn't turn it off! 

Then, who could resist the halftime show, with the muppets, Ted Lasso, Madonna, Shakira, and Bieber, and its message of universal love? 

I didn't even realize that I was rooting for Argentina, but when Emiliano Martinez broke the record for the number of saves, keeping the match tied at nil until the 106th minute, in the second half of extra time, despite playing the entire tournament with a broken finger? Wow! Just wow. And even after Spain scored, Argentina was totally in it until the final whistle.  

I do confess that I turned it off before the cup was presented by he-who-ruins-everything. It was such an unexpected pleasure, and I just wanted to keep it that way.

Saturday, July 18, 2026

In Gear

Word today that, according to the Washington Post, "the death of the stick shift is almost here." I have mixed feelings about the news. Part of me is sad, in a nostalgic way. I learned to drive on a manual transmission and, back then, vowed never to drive anything else. There was something satisfying about how active driving was, being mindful of the sound of the motor to avoid grinding gears, and something soothing about the gentle vibration of the idling engine as you rested your hand on the knob of the gear shift. 

There was also the fun and practical fix of popping the clutch if the car wouldn't start. Whoever was around would be enlisted to roll the car to a flat straightaway, and then push it as fast as they could while the driver kept it in neutral with a foot on the clutch until it picked up enough speed to hit the gas and let up on the clutch at the same time, usually encouraging the engine to roar to life; why, I don't know. 

The article blames sophisticated engineering, computerized transmissions with as many as 7 gears to optimize acceleration and fuel efficiency. Maybe, but I broke my vow to never drive automatic after a particularly grueling ride to BWI. The 30-mile trip took nearly two hours that day, and my leg and foot were cramped from all the stop-and-go. After that, I made sure my next car was an automatic, so I put the onus on the increased traffic congestion over the last few decades. It seems impossible to take a drive of any length without experiencing at least a few slowdowns, and an automatic transmission makes such aggravations a little less onerous. 

Even so, I'll be sorry when the stick shift goes the way of the penny. They are both such classics, and I never thought they could be anything but timeless.

Friday, July 17, 2026

Period Pieces

Even though I retired two years ago, my personal email is still set up to receive notifications from the school system's Learning Management System. I can't even change it, because I no longer have the proper permissions.

Most courses are automatically archived on July 1 and stop sending notifications, but a couple are manually created and will never go away unless someone actively requests it. That's why today I got a message that a student had submitted a late assignment. Curious and amused, I switched profiles on my browser and clicked through several login and authentication screens to see exactly who had submitted what, a month after school was dismissed for the summer.

It was a Unit 2 writing assignment for 8th grade, due December 20, 2025. The prompt was either to reflect on what they had learned in the unit or to write a short piece of fiction about two students from 50 years ago. Seven months late, this student had posted the following:

In the sweltering July of 1976, middle schoolers Leo and Naya sit on a curbside in Arlington, Virginia. Armed with classic 1976s gear, they debate the mysteries of the brand-new Bionic Woman, while plotting to trade a pet rock for the latest 1976 summer blockbuster ticket.

It sounded pretty accurate to me, at least from my recollection of that summer when I was that exact age myself. The pet rock detail was a little inaccurate, but humorous, so.

I wondered if a student in 2076 might write something like this:

In the sweltering July of 2026, the hum of the air conditioner was the only sound as middle schoolers Leo and Naya sprawled on the couch, staring at their phones. There was nothing on TikTok, and the World Cup final between Spain and Argentina wasn't until the next day. Bored as usual, Naya sighed and opened up Canvas to check the notifications. That annoying message from December was still there, so they decided to go ahead and write something.

Thursday, July 16, 2026

Bye Bye Buggy

Lucy's oldest dog friend, Lady, passed away today. She was around 16 years old and was so helpful when Lucy was a puppy that we called her Nanny. She never hesitated to let Lucy know when she was out of line, and she even nose-boosted her up some stairs when Lucy was too little to make it herself. Their bond continued until yesterday, when we took Lucy over to see her friend one last time.

Lady only had one eye because her other one had been shot out; she carried some of the pellets from that shotgun blast under her skin for her whole life. They reckoned she was a little older than a year when she was rescued as a stray living on her own in the woods in West Virginia. She was malnourished and had a serious case of heartworm, the treatment for which required her movement to be restricted for several months when she first moved into the neighborhood with her owner, Lauren. 

Not surprisingly, she was a bit of a timid creature back then, despite her fierce visage and coal-black fireplug body. Our first dog, Isabel, helped her out of her shell enough to venture first up the stairs and out of the complex, and finally even into the dog park. Within a year or so, she was willing to go anywhere, without hesitation, although she was always happy to get home.

Lady was ever the most practical of dogs, though, eating whatever was put in front of her whenever she could and avoiding any uncomfortable situation; whether it was hot weather, rain, crazy dogs, or crazy people, she was sensible enough to give such things a wide berth. She was a faithful companion to her person, Lauren, seeing her through a master's program, a Ph.D., a first job, dating, engagement, a wedding (which Lady was in), a new home, and pregnancy. She even converted Lauren's husband, AJ, to a dog person; before Lady, he was 100% Team Cat.

We called her Lady Bug, which was eventually shortened to Bug or Buggy, which seemed to suit her just fine. Fourteen years is a long time to know a dog, and she was a great one. She will be missed.

Wednesday, July 15, 2026

Taking a Swipe at It

 "We've been talking about names," our friend who's expecting told us this afternoon.

"You mean Pebbles might not stick?" I joked. "What could possibly be better?"

"Actually," her husband said, "we downloaded an app."

"That's smart," Heidi said.

"It gives you a list of names," our friend said, "and you swipe right if you like one."

"We do it separately," her husband continued, "and then it tells you which ones you matched."

"Yeah, but we went through, like, 500 names," his wife said, "and we only agreed on maybe five."

"What were they?" I asked.

They shrugged. "I think one was Zoe," he told us.

"I honestly can't remember any others," she agreed. "And we need a middle name, too."

"You still have plenty of time," Heidi assured them.

"Or? Pebbles it is!" I added. "We all agree on that one!"

Tuesday, July 14, 2026

Second Language

It was around dinner time when I ran out to Staples do one last birthday errand. Customarily, places are not very busy between 5:30 and 6:30, and I was expecting a quick turn around. My plan seemed to be working when I whooshed theough the sliding glass doors and saw 3 employees, all finishing up with customers, and no one waiting. 

But. 

It turned out that only the manager could help me with my purchase, and he was embroiled in a conversation with a couple about 15 years older than I am. They had a file folder with them, which is never a good sign if you're hoping for a speedy check out. I gleaned from their discussion that they had just purchased a new lap top, and were making arrangements for somebody to set it up for them and transfer all their applications and files to the new machine. 

As I waited, I had plenty of time to analyze the situation. First, I was reminded of my mother-in-law, and how mystifying she often found new technology. Next, I wondered if I could be in a similar position a decade or so in the future. Finally, I considered the generation gap that seemed to be at play. 

I decided that although I might not be as fluent with the latest devices as some younger people who were born into this digital world, it's probably unlikely I'll need that level of support. I'm not a native speaker, but I'm still pretty proficient. 

Plus? I'll never bring a file folder shopping.

Monday, July 13, 2026

Way Ahead of the Game

I met up with a friend and former colleague today because he asked me to look over the paperwork for his license renewal before submitting it. "I need 270 points," he said. "Right?"

"I think it's still 180," I answered.

"For 10 years?" he asked.

"You get grandfathered in the first time you renew for ten," I told him.

"I already renewed for ten," he said.

"When does your license expire?" I asked.

"2030," he reported. "I want to get a head start because I have all my points." He paused, and his eyes widened. "Unless they would take away the four years I have left?"

"I don't think there's any upside to turning this in now," I replied. "Do you have a file folder? Just put all this away until 2030."

"2029," he corrected me. "I want to get this in early!"

Sunday, July 12, 2026

It's a Handful

We spent our afternoon at a baby shower for a good friend. It turned out to be a fun reunion of the original neighborhood "Pack," complete with 2 Laurens, 2 Heidis, and 2 Traceys (or Tracis), folks who all bonded over their dogs Lady, Cooper, Ben, Lucy, and Theo. Over the last nine years, partners and kids have been added, people have moved, and sadly, a couple of dogs have been lost, but having the whole group together again was a joy. 

Of course, there were other guests as well, some expectant parents and others, new parents themselves. Everyone was full of wisdom and advice, but my favorite tip for the new mom and dad was this: "Enjoy leaving your house with just your phone and your car keys! That won't happen for a long while," a young mother laughed, hefting her giant baby bag to her shoulder. "You're going to have to carry a lot of crap."

Saturday, July 11, 2026

Foul Weather Fans

Before I booked parking for the baseball game last night, I checked and double-checked the weather forecast. There was no chance of rain, not even a pop-up thunderstorm. And so, as we crawled along 395 on our way to cross the 14th St bridge, the foreboding skies meant nothing to me. 

"Check the app," I said to Heidi when she expressed her concern, and sure enough? At Nats Park, there was no rain forecast. 

Even so, the trip, short in distance but long in time because of Friday evening traffic, was only beginning. And when fat raindrops began to sploosh against our windshield as we took the Capitol Hill exit to wind our way to our parking spot, I was still not alarmed. And then I got the text: weather delay. But it wasn't actually raining at the ballpark, so optimistically, I parked the car, and we walked the three blocks to the stadium, confident that the game would begin shortly. 

But the minute we walked through the gate, the skies opened. Still undeterred, we dashed to the merch store and spent half an hour perusing the gear. Lots of other fans had staked out floor space, though, as if settling in for the long haul. We hadn't eaten, and decided that a circuit of the concessions on the main level would be a good way to kill some time. 

As soon as we made it to cover, though, we recognized our error. The wide hall was packed shoulder to shoulder, and it seemed like most of the other patrons were college-aged kids in red, white, or blue t-shirts emblazoned with the slogan His Legacy, Your Voice. They were all from the Turning Point USA leadership conference. 

It took 40 minutes to weave our way around the perimeter from section 143 to 108, and there was literally no place to stop and stand, let alone eat. It was 8:15 by the time we made it back to the main gate plaza, and we stood in a light drizzle surveying the sky and the grounds crew trying to squeegee off the infield tarp. The game was still delayed. 

The setting sun was trying to break out from the storm clouds to our west, and I scanned the sky for a rainbow. There was none. The stands were still closed, every seat empty and wet, and the majority of the 38,000 people in attendance were still crammed into the sheltered concourse. 

"Let's go home," I sighed.

Friday, July 10, 2026

What a Stitch

The phone was ringing as I stepped into the tailor's shop. "Hello?" she answered, nodding to me that she would be a moment.

As I waited, I could hear the voice on the other end of the line. "I have a dress," she said, "and I need it fitted and altered, but I have a tight turn around." 

She paused, and the three of us in the shop waited expectantly.

"I need it in 24 hours," she continued with a frantic sigh. "Is that something you can do?"

The tailor was measured as she answered. "I'd have to see it first. Can you come in now?"

"I can come in about an hour," the woman replied with a thread of relief in her voice.

"See you then," said the tailor as she hung up and turned to me.

"I need this altered, too," I told her, gesturing to the hanger in my hand. "But I don't need it in 24 hours!"

"Good!" she laughed, gesturing toward the changing room. "Let's see it!"

Thursday, July 9, 2026

Pebbly-Poo and Bubble Trouble

Our friends, who are expecting their first child in early September, are having their shower this weekend, and mutual friends who have moved away are traveling here to attend. These other friends have three little girls, and the kids are very excited about both the trip and the shower. The oldest even has some ideas for what to name the baby. She favors either Julia (her own baby sister's name) or Bubbles. 

Personally, I can get behind Bubbles, but not for this baby. This one is already Pebbles to me. We have been calling her that since last Halloween, when we saw a family dressed as the Flintstones. "That could be us next year," our friend said to her husband, since they were planning on starting a family soon.

"Oh my gosh! Promise me you'll call the baby Pebbles!" I laughed. "That would be so awesome!" 

And so she has been Pebbles to all of us, and will be until christened otherwise, and maybe even after that. But I know they are planning a second child in the near future, and she can totally be Bubbles!

Wednesday, July 8, 2026

You Are on the Quickest Route

Our route to and from Buffalo has definitely changed over the 25 years I've been driving there. On our earliest trips, we relied on maps or maybe printed MapQuest directions to find our way, usually up I-270 to I-70, picking up the PA Turnpike in Breezewood and taking it all the way west to Pittsburgh, where we would turn north onto the I-90. It was highway driving the whole way.

Later, the portable GPS system that Heidi's mom gave us consistently guided us through Gettysburg and along the Susquehanna, passing landmarks such as Bucknell University and the Little League Hall of Fame on our way up through the Southern Tier. Those turn-by-turn directions could be a bit glitchy, but they shaved about 15 minutes off the 8-hour trip, which was well worth it. Plus, I loved the scenery driving by the river and then over the mountains past the Tioga Reservoir.

In the last decade or so, though, the advanced algorithms and real-time data on our phones have directed us on a more central route: through Breezewood, then just a short jog west on the Turnpike to I-99. But after passing Altoona, we drive secondary roads up through the Alleghenies, past state forests, coal mines, and a lot of Trump signs. This route has whittled the trip down to a little over 7 hours, though, and I have become familiar with, and even fond of, some of the small towns, roadside stops, and landmarks along the way.

That's why it was so jarring this afternoon when my map app directed me to make a right turn I've never taken before just outside of Ridgway, PA. I was intrigued, though, and drove along the rolling route with interest, past several picturesque farms. We were back on a familiar track once we reached downtown, but 45 minutes later, I received another novel set of directions. This time, we were off our usual route for more than an hour, driving on faith through rural Pennsylvania. 

We did see the western branch of the Susquehanna, though, and a pretty little reservoir with an old stone dam. And we also had to stop in some nameless town at one of the many railroad crossings along the way. There, we observed people carrying lawn chairs and coolers toward what seemed an undetermined destination. When the bar lifted, and we followed the cars ahead of us over the crossing, we saw folks gathering along the train tracks. 

"Something is happening here!" I stated the obvious to Heidi. Ahead, I spotted the back of a canvas sign lashed up in front of the firehouse. "Read that as we go by!" I told her.

"Welcome the Big Boy Locomotive," she reported. "July 9."

"Google that!" I said, and after a bit of a dirty look at my bossiness, she did.

It turns out that the Big Boy was a giant steam engine manufactured in the 1940s to haul freight between Utah and Wyoming. Union Pacific ran 25 of them until 1962, when they were retired from service. Only eight of them still exist, and only one of them is still functional. Union Pacific sent that one on a coast-to-coast tour to celebrate the US's 250th birthday, and that locomotive was passing right there today.

I wish I could say we stopped at that railroad crossing at the perfect time to see that Big Boy steam through whatever town that was, but its arrival was an hour away, so we kept driving, eager to get home.

Tuesday, July 7, 2026

How Does That One Go?

The family chat was filled with disco requests yesterday morning when my nephew reported that he would be hosting the disco show on a local radio station on Thursday night. It was fun considering which songs might be considered classic musts, and which ones we still loved from back then. 

A little while later, Heidi and I went out to lunch with her mom and brother. We ate at a fun little bar and restaurant called The Howling Rooster, which served breakfast all day, along with sandwiches and salads such as the Roo-ben, the Hot Hen, and the Hen House. They leaned into their name with their decor, too, and as we sat and chatted, I spotted a piece in the window that took me back to the kitchen of our childhood home. 

I went over, snapped a photo, and posted it to the family chat with the caption "Ceramic Rooster."

Of course, the conversation was still focused on the disco show. "I don't know that one," my sister-in-law responded.

I laughed and provided some much-needed context. I guess Ceramic Rooster could have been a follow-up to Disco Duck, though. The 70s were famous for those novelty songs.

Monday, July 6, 2026

It Never Hurts to Ask

Unless it does. 

Witness the controversy swirling around tonight's soccer match between teams USA and Belgium. Folarin Balogun, USA's top scorer, was suspended after receiving a questionable red card in the preceding game. League procedures were followed at the time: the call was challenged, reviewed on video, and allowed to stand. Many fans disagreed, but that's the game. Or it was, until President Trump called the FIFA president, who overturned the ruling, allowing Balogun to play. 

One consequence will surely be a shadow cast on the US team, especially if they win. The incident also sends a message that the rules do not apply consistently to everyone, which is kind of the biggest thing that organized sport has going for it. What's the point of a game that's not fair?

Sunday, July 5, 2026

Negative Pressure

The finished basement room where we stay at Heidi's mom's house is usually pretty comfortable. A space heater makes it cozy enough in the winter, and one of those portable air conditioners is usually all it takes to keep the place cool in the summer. Unfortunately, the days of unprecedented heat this summer have strained that setup to the verge of discomfort.

At first, I thought that simply giving the a/c a chance to run would cool the room down, but nope. Then we wondered if the unit was running properly, but it was. A quick calculation showed it was appropriately rated for the size of the space, so that wasn't the problem, and there was a separate dehumidifier as well, so the moisture wasn't overwhelming its function, either. 

Here in Buffalo, central air has only recently been added to most residential construction, and houses like this one, built in the 1960s, have piecemeal solutions to the rising temperatures we have experienced over the last few decades. Heidi's mom has a mini-split unit in the family room (that theoretically reaches the kitchen) and a bigger one for the second-floor bedrooms. That leaves the living room, dining room, and office without cooling, but those spaces just aren't used if it's too warm.

I think I've figured out the problem, though. The mini-split doesn't reach the kitchen, and they don't have screens in the windows. That means that heat has built up in the rooms that aren't air-conditioned, making them sweltering and stuffy. When it's running, the little a/c we have in the basement vents air continuously out through a duct hose. But what is happening is that negative pressure from that venting is drawing all the hot air down here from the rooms above us through the floor. 

It's counterintuitive, but the fix is to open the upstairs windows and maybe even run a fan to push air out that way. But nobody wants to "let any more heat in," so we're stuck in a sticky basement.

Saturday, July 4, 2026

Virtually the Same

Visiting Heidi's mom in Buffalo during an extreme heatwave has forced us to get creative about recreation. Yesterday, for example, we dusted off the old Wii console that she has hooked up to the TV in the basement rec room. 

"I think the last time I used this was when Richard and Annabelle were here for our wedding party in 2015," I said to Heidi, but after replacing a few batteries in the controllers, we found that the system still works fine. We were also reunited with the Miis we had created over a decade ago; Heidi's has dark hair, and mine is much chubbier than I would make her now. The early avatars of other family members were there, too: a younger Kyle, Mark with hair, and Heidi's dad, called "Chief," which looked eerily like him, and made us a little sad.

I got the thing working while Heidi was out with the dogs, and I clicked on bowling to test everything out. Of course, I wondered how the virtual version might compare, now that I've been bowling regularly. At first, I thought it was easier, and I picked up spares on my first three frames, but soon I found myself hooking the ball to the left, just as I do in real life. After a few adjustments, I got back on track, and my final score was 112, which just happens to be my average.

Friday, July 3, 2026

False Alarm

For some reason, my social media feed is full of information about aging gracefully and well. šŸ¤” As aged as the algorithm may think I am, though, I haven't declined to the point where I can't spot AI content designed to make me spend money buying equipment or subscribing to miraculous exercise routines. 

Even so, I do need to stay sharp because those robot hucksters are wily. For example, just the other day as I was scrolling, I paused to hear a fit, middle-aged man earnestly inform me that, as we age, losing balance is one of the biggest dangers. "Most people over the age of 50 can't put their socks on while standing up," he reported, shaking his head sadly. 

Oh my gosh! I thought. Can I put my socks on without sitting down? I pulled off my socks and jumped out of the chair to see. Oh, I could do it, all right, but in the process, I realized that usually?  

Nobody puts their socks on standing up.