Nothing Yet

There was a tiny slip of folded paper on my doorstep this morning when I returned from walking the dog. Its presence seemed quite intentional, and I plucked it up and unfolded it on my way in. It was the fortune from a cookie, which read: You have an unusual magnetic personality. Just be aware of your polarity.

I'm still waiting for the Universe to send the rest of the message.

That Old Familiar Feeling

I've been hitting the gym a little more frequently lately, and so I needed a few extra gym clothes. In the interest of time and convenience, I ordered a couple of things online over the weekend. When they arrived last evening, I tried everything on separately and then tossed a pair of shorts and complimentary t-shirt into my gym bag.

I got my first look at the ensemble this afternoon in the locker room. After changing and stowing my work clothes in a locker, I turned the corner and catching sight of myself in the mirror, gasped. The navy shorts and stripy heather shirt fit just fine, but it looked for all the world as if I was wearing my middle school gym suit!

Let's not break anything, I implored the Universe, and then knocking on the wooden bench, continued out to the floor.

Eviction Notice

The little dove in the nest we accidentally let its parents build in the eaves of our deck finally fledged on Friday. It was nerve-wracking and exciting to see it take its first tentative flight, first to the railing and then to the crab apple tree beyond. Despite its stubby tail feathers and downy wings the chick seemed sturdy and as confident as any mourning dove can be. The parents perched nearby, flitting from one branch to another, but it wasn't long before we were all confident that the little bird would be okay.

And then we knocked that nest right down.

Taking the Average

Despite the no cooking restriction, yesterday was a pretty good eating day. After clear liquids and fasting the day before, I figured I could eat double the usual with a few extra treats.

It seems only fair.

Advice and Consent

When my procedure was over, the nurse read the discharge instructions:

No driving.
Sure.
No making important decisions--
avoid signing anything.
Okay.
No drinking.
Mmmm...
No cooking.
Now that's just crazy talk!

More TFD Tales

In a first, I had to turn down a Teacher-for-a-Day proposal.

"I want to teach the class the difference between serial killers and spree killers," a student told me this morning. "Don't worry, it won't be too violent."

I paused, considering imaginary conversations in imaginary cars on the way to imaginary soccer practices or around imaginary dinner tables. Guess what we learned in English today? they might begin, and they would probably end with a phone call or an email to me.

"I don't think so," I said. "Not every sixth grader is ready for that topic."

She shrugged without surprise. "Then can I bring in my dog to show how I teach him tricks?"

Expert Advice

"We want to teach the class how to do a Rubik's Cube," a couple of students in my 6th period class told me today. They were finished with their profiles and ready to embark on the very last assignment of the year, Teacher for a Day.

"Cool!" I said as they handed over their lesson plan.

Scanning the sheet I saw that they planned a lot of talking and then a quiz. "Hmm," I said. "You've been in this class all year. How do you think that's going to work?"

"What else can we do?" they asked.

I shrugged. "Find a video, make a slideshow, borrow some Rubik's Cubes, have a competition, make a kahoot?"

Their eyes widened. "Wow!" said one, "You really know what you're doing!'