Painting Fences

Good things that happened on Christmas Day: Tracey and Heidi's flight didn't get cancelled; it was sunny and 70 degrees in Atlanta; we were able to walk the dogs for several miles; we mastered several games in the afternoon; the solar gnome glowed in the garden at night. 

"and my hair is still purple," said Emily walking by. "So the point is the monsters are soulless beasts that can't produce their own emotions?" said Victor. "No, I said--" but "he locked me out" said Bill. Then Bill said "it would probably be very mindful for you." "So the ants are also soulless beasts?" Victor asked. "I don't eat leftovers," Annabelle said. Bill and I said "the sweaters in plastic bins" in unison. "I don't want to play yet" said Courtney. "I don't think it's really one universe," I told Victor, "but it would make sense," he said, "anyway they include enough easter eggs to encourage it." 

"solar garden gnome stake," said the box.

The new telescope is going to unfold the universe, provided its three hundred single points of failure do not fail. As we spoke it was one hundred thousand miles from Earth preparing for the first of three course-correcting rocket burns. A rocket is a rod-shaped tool associated with fire, the same as a candle or a torch, which may have animated horses and bison at Lascaux seventeen thousand years ago. A monkey is a kind of brown animal with hands which it uses to climb trees. Monkey see, monkey do.

"Hamsters are allergic to guacamole, baby whales also gain 200 pounds a day." said Richard.

I wish I was in Mexico because the water is pretty.

Wearing a borrowed mask, I waited on the cracked sidewalk for my our Christmas dinner. There was no entrance to the restaurant; the front door had been retrofitted with screens, plywood, and plexiglass to create a touchless passthrough. "15 more minutes," the woman said when I gave her my name. Behind me, a cab driver in a knit cap tapped his foot. I sighed, returned to the car.

"It's not ready yet," I groaned.

"Let's ride around and look at Christmas lights," my sister suggested.

And so we did.

(Title credit to Bill)

Reverse Giftology

"How would you like to give me one more Christmas present?" Heidi asked when I answered my phone yesterday afternoon. I was out running errands and she was shopping with her mom.

"I would love to," I replied.

"Thanks, Baby," she said and hung up.

"Do you want to see what you got me, or should I wrap it up for myself, too?" she asked when we met back at the house.

I laughed. "Maybe!" I said. "I guess someone should be surprised when you open it!"

Beware the Cul de Sac

 A tired dog is a good dog! is a precept of my wife, and so, here in Buffalo, where her parents' young dog is energetic, still in tact, and verrrry interested in Lucy, three miles is the daily minimum. The weather has been comparatively mild, 30 degrees or so, but the wind has been the wild card, and gusts have frozen our fingers and noses and ears. The dogs love it though, and I personally enjoy the challenge of finding a three mile circuit through the winding labyrinth of Heidi's parents' subdivision's streets. 

As we walk in the daylight, we examine the holiday light displays in their off-position. Some are promising-- all those lights! Some are intriguing-- how does that pvc arcade over the sidewalk look when fully lit? Some are classic-- those big molded candles, lamp posts, sleighs and reindeer make me want to jump on eBay. And some are simply baffling-- what could they possibly be going for with those unicorns and that inflatable Oogie Boogie?

Oh, we always vow to walk again after dark, but family commitments and fatigue trump those plans almost every time. So this evening, as I drove home alone from the last of my holiday errands in the gathering dusk, I took a quick left instead of my usual right and rolled through the maze of streets to see all the lights. It was well worth the detour, especially when those tiny flakes of snow brushed my windshield. As they danced in the beam of my headlights, I made that last right turn and drove down our street, which, if I may say, was one of the best.

Santa Baby

"What did you get D for Christmas?" I asked Heidi's brother about his longtime partner.

"Nothing yet," he shrugged. "She can't decide what she wants."

"What are the options?" I said.

"Well, I asked her if she wanted me to surprise her, and that was a definite no" he laughed. "We'll probably get something over New Years when I see her."

"What about you?" I asked. "Do you like to be surprised?"

"Absolutely not!" he answered.

"Well, at least you have that common!" I told him.

Bored Games?

A friend gave me an early Christmas present before we left town. She knows how much I love games, and she knows my politics and the game she chose, I Dissent, had a black box emblazoned with a fancy, lace collar, like those that RBG wore during her time on the Supreme Court. I packed the game carefully along with the gifts we were bringing to Buffalo, thinking I might get Heidi's parents and brothers to help us figure out how to play. 

The game itself was a little complicated, involving issue cards, oral arguments, agreeing or disagreeing cards, as well as voting cards numbered 1-3, with inverse points, indicated by gavels along the bottom. 

And although the topics and discussions were interesting, (for example, Is a text as good as a phone call? Are watching movies at home as good as going to the theater?, Is middle school more fun than high school?) we really only got through about 5 rounds before Heidi's dad excused himself, wished us all a goodnight, and went to bed. 

Is this game good enough to play again? I asked. And we all laughed as we put the cards and the timer back in the box.

A-Carolling

A little while after the sunset silhouetted farms and mountains against the blazing western sky, the full moon rose directly ahead of us, like a stunning orange tunnel we would have to drive through. Soon enough, though, it took its place in the sky, brightening to white, and shining on the road as we pulled in for a quick pit stop at the halfway point between home and Buffalo. 

The three of us dispatched our business efficiently: emptying our bladders, filling the tank, refilling our cups with tea and water, and when I hit the ignition button, Christmas music filled the car as the sound system defaulted from podcast to satellite radio. The song, of course, was familiar, but the performance was not. The LED screen displayed the map of our route, and so I turned to Heidi. "Who do you think is singing this?"

She listened intently. 

"Is it Whitney Houston or maybe Mariah Carey?" I guessed.

"I think it's Mariah," she said. 

"It's a little too fussy for Whitney Houston," I agreed, and she hit the radio icon to check our guess. With that? A new game was born! The miles rolled by as we admired all the holiday lights along the way and guessed performer after performer on the songs we knew so well. Of course there were several gimmes, classic versions that we knew within an opening note or two, and there were also some unfamiliar songs by voices we recognized right away. 

"Did he just say 'Ima be under the mistletoe with you shawty'?" I asked Heidi as Justin Bieber sang through the speakers.

"I think he did," she nodded.

And a little while later, right after I correctly guessed that it was Jewel singing Winter Wonderland (even before the yodeling!), I just had to wonder, "How have we never thought of this before?"

The Prettiest Sight You'll See

At last, everything at our house is all ready for Christmas!

Just in time to leave town... wah, wah, wah.

BUT, we get to spend time with beloved family-- and plus? 

It will all be here when we get back.