I was helping my 7th grade niece catch up on some of her math assignments. "We can work on this tomorrow, too," she suggested. "I have until 11:59."
"Okay," I said, "But I have to go to school tomorrow."
"But it's asynchronous!" she said. Yeah, she knows that even though she lives in Georgia.
"Not for me," I shook my head sadly. "I have to give the SOL."
"Which one?" she asked.
"Believe it or not?" I told her, "it's 7th grade math!"
News today that most mask mandates have been eased or lifted for those who are fully vaccinated. The latest data reports that a little less than 48 percent of the US population has had at least one dose of a vaccine, and here where we live the number is 60%, which is actually closer to 80% of those who are eligible. And just as Pfizer has received approval to administer their vaccine to anyone 12 or older, several students told me yesterday of their weekend plans to be vaccinated.
Living in a bubble of like-minded people makes it hard to understand why anyone would remain unprotected from the virus, but a conversation I overheard between two kids at school yesterday showed me of why we are not further along in vaccinations.
"I'm not getting it!" one girl told a classmate.
"What??" the other student was stunned. "Why?"
"I haven't gotten COVID yet, and I don't think I will. I think I'm resistant."
"Won't your parents make you?" the other girl wondered.
"No!" she said. "They won't get it either."
I looked over from my desk. She had her mask pulled down to her mouth.
"Cover your nose, please," I reminded her.
She sighed and with a little roll of the eyes adjusted her mask.
The question of the day was What is something you did that you will never do again? In addition to our check-in conversation, I was aiming for the students to uncover an alphabiography topic (a short personal narrative with a life lesson at the end), and for many the prompt did just that.
Never again will they
walk behind a metal swing while someone's on it
leave the house without money
take a road trip without a charger
ride a roller coaster
touch an electric fence with a slice of pizza in the other hand (Spoiler alert! The cow got the pizza.)
eat a whole habenero
wear white to school
walk away from the oven when cookies are baking
take a test without studying
eat sushi
run around like crazy near barbed wire
stick tweezers in the outlet
take a deep breath of salt and vinegar chips
go to online school
prank call the police
text the wrong person
cut their own hair
touch a cicada
pour sand on a leaf and eat it
steal from their parents
swim with sharks
expect school to be fun and easy
Lesson?
Learned.
As we putter on in to the final weeks of the school year, We are offering our students a choice of mini-projects to demonstrate what they have learned this year. One of the options is a tried-and-true assignment: a letter to the future you. As part of the planning process students fill out an outline with all sorts of questions to help them think about who they are now and who they might be when they open this letter. Reading through their replies is always a joy-- they are so funny and honest, and I am always reminded of why I have chosen to spend so many years in the company of tweens.
The last question is What are some words of wisdom you have for yourself?
Only a handful of kids have completed this part so far, but here are their unedited thoughts:
Study hard because I'm coming for you
Know what’s weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything will change. (Bill Wattersom)
you are powerful beyond measure
Me, I want you to remember to keep your love of learning, learn math, and I want you to remember that whenever times are hard, I want you to go out for fresh air and spend time with those we love. You are UNIQUE!
if live gives you lemons throw them at somebody cause why do you want lemons the only thing i can think of that lemons are good for is steak and there is better stuff to put on steak and limes are better cause they can be used for more thingsI hope that I’m still the one who helps out my friends with my listening and advice.You learn more from failure than from success...“Hard work means nothing if you don’t believe in yourself”Dont do anything stupid
"What would you say your slogan is?" one of my homeroom students asked me today.
"You mean my motto?" I clarified.
"Yeah, your catchphrase," he responded.
"Is it Can I talk to you in the hall??" one of his snarkier classmates suggested. He's heard that several times since he's been back in person. "I bet it is!" he doubled down.
"To be honest," I replied, "I wish I never had to say those words again." I tilted my head at him. "But how likely is that?" I asked.
He shrugged, noncommittal.
And there you have it.
"That's an understatement," I said to my friend Mary as we worked on the last unit of the school year.
"Well, it's not hyperbole," she agreed.
"What's the opposite of hyperbole?" I wondered.
"Understatement," Mary answered.
"Or something with 'hypo'," Heidi suggested as she entered my classroom ready to leave for the day.
"Hy-po-bo-le?" I said, and then laughed uproariously, because it is such a silly sounding word. (Say it! You'll see.)
"Oh the fun we have when English teachers get together," Mary proclaimed.
Later, I decided to do a little research and see if there actually was any such thing as hypobole. Indeed there is, but it is not the opposite of hyperbole. No, the term refers to some sort of rhetorical device where one sets up a string of counterarguments just to knock 'em down. That hypobole does sound kind of fun.
But in fact, the antonym of hyperbole is actually 'litotes' (pronounced lid'-uh-teez), and most often is an understatement phrased in terms of what something is not.
For example, "Well, it's not hyperbole."
Well! I'm no expert, but it seems like Mary nailed it.
Today was the first day of state testing, and as the schedule would have, it the kids who have been virtual all year were slated to come into the building and take their reading SOL. I, too, was scheduled to appear despite the promise of asynchronous Mondays until the end of the year.
To be honest, it wasn't too bad, there was an in-the-trenches camaraderie among the staff that was there, an attitude that made it easier to get through the planning and tech issues that always plague that first day of testing. (Did I say plague? Yes, yes I did.)
But the benefit of the day was the 15 minutes or so I spent in the theater where the sixth graders were sent before being shuttled off to their testing groups. There, I met in person at least a dozen kids who until then had been only elementary school photos in my grade book and disembodied voices on the call for class.
Finding them was a little tricky: does anyone have me for English? I called as I entered the auditorium. There were a few waves, and in most cases the combination of muffled voice and eyes above the mask was actually enough for me to identify them. It was really kind of awesome, that in-person human connection, and although I can't say for sure? I think most of them were smiling behind those masks.
