Copy That

Call me old-fashioned, but personally, I don't know how a school can function with both of its main copy machines down. At about 5 PM yesterday I found myself wandering the building trying to figure out a way to make sure I was prepared for my first class the next day. Oh, I knew if worst came to worst, I could probably come in early and get in line for the one copier that was being repaired at that very moment, but generally? I prefer to avoid such crunchtime moves.

That's why, after the third time I cleared a paper jam in the main office I turned to a very slow and little-used machine nearby. With only 20 copies, I felt it was the best solution, and so I pushed all the buttons, fed in the originals, stood back and checked my email, played Words with Friends, picked at my cuticles, and otherwise waited the 15 minutes it took. Triumphantly, I carried the finished packets back to my room, hole-punched them, and left the building confident that I was ready for the next day.

Flash forward to me and my reading class at 9 AM this morning. "Can't we just read?" someone asked for the 97th time. "Why do they call it "reading" anyway if you won't let us read?"

"We are going to read," I answered brightly. "This is a good story!

Children sighed as packets slapped the table and pages turned.

"Wait!" said somebody. "Do I have the whole story? Is it mixed up?"

I looked over a shoulder. "Oops!" I said. "You know what, you guys? I made a mistake with the copies." I shrugged. "Why don't you read your books?"

They cheered.

"You are definitely the best teacher," someone said, sticking her nose into Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban just before the room went silent.

It's What They Do

This year it so happens I have one class that is mostly girls and another class that is mostly boys. And so, in a lesson where each student was asked to think of a verb and share it in a quick round robin, the answers were wildly different.

Dance, play, talk, skate, suggested the girls.

Kick, yell, fart, poop, contributed the boys.

But, happily, both groups came up with read.

Now to get them to write!

Beholders

"Did you have a good weekend?" a colleague asked as our paths converged on the way to the main office this morning.

"Oh, yeah!" I answered. "The weather was perrrrfect!"

She frowned. "Don't tell me. You like fall?" she asked with heavy irony.

"You don't???" I responded.

"No!" she replied. "I. LIKE. SUMMER. You know? Hot weather, shorts, baking in the sun by the pool or at the beach? SUMMER!"

"But the light..." I started, thinking of the warm gold of the autumn sunshine and clear blue skies. "The leaves?"

"Nope and nope!" she cut me off. "Too chilly! And the next thing you know? It's winter!"

She frowned.

I smiled.

Joshing Around

One of Josh's best friends back home is also named Josh. We got to spend some time with both guys this weekend, and it was very entertaining. Take for example this exchange, as we were driving off for our hike this afternoon, leaving Josh's hand-painted bean bag toss in the front yard.

Josh 1: I hope nobody steals the game while we're gone!

Josh 2: Pretty sure no one wants your corn hole, Buddy.

Bob the Dog

At the end of a fun family picnic with a chaos of kids running in and out of the house, we looked up as Michelle came up the walk with a tiny black dog in her arms. Her new place is located just off a busy road, and noticing a bit of a commotion, she went over to see what was happening. A woman from New Jersey had stopped to avoid hitting the little guy. "I can't take him!" She told Michelle. "I'm on my way back home."

The entire group of 6 children and 12 adults turned our collective attention to this current canine crisis. Is there a collar? He looks well-groomed. Take a picture and post it on Facebook! Let's call him Bob. Go door to door with the picture. Where's the closest shelter? He's shivering-- we need a blanket. I read on the internet you can use a stud-finder to see if there's a microchip. Beep beep beep beep bleep. How does this thing work? Nobody's answering the doors across the street. The vet is closed. Bob is soooo cute. Clearly not a stray. Where would we even put flyers?

In the midst of all this hubbub, a couple of guests with a long drive ahead of them bid us all farewell and good luck. Imagine our surprise, then, when their red Crowne Vic rolled back into the driveway a little while later. Out jumped a very worried looking woman they had spotted as she scoured the road calling for her dog. A heart-warming reunion between Pat and Yogi was only a moment away.

It happened that Yogi had indeed been bathed earlier today and so was collarless when Pat's husband started using a hydraulic nail gun. Since it was such a beautiful day, the front door was open. Spooked by the loud noise, Yogi pushed open the loose screen, and hit the road.

Pat's husband and grandson pulled in just as she ended her tale, and the four of them happily headed home.

School Daze Chapter 7: Sunny with a Chance of Opposition

We have a student this year who embodies a conundrum I've never tackled before. He is definitely oppositional: ask him to do any simple task, and he just can't help himself from doing the opposite. You have to say his name three times before he'll even turn his head, and yet? He misbehaves with the sunniest of smiles.

In all my years of teaching, I have never met such a contradictory soul. I redirect him, ready to be confronted with anger and resentment, and he simply laughs with a twinkle in his eye. When frustrated by a task, he shuts down, but when I give him guidance and suggestions, he digs in and does a great job.

He has lost his water bottle at least 10 out of the 14 days we've been in school so far, but he is always appreciative when I, his homeroom teacher, spot it and return it to him. Maybe that's why he always stops by at the end of the day for a few minutes with his friend from another team, even when they could both be heading home.

Today I met them at the door on my way back from a meeting. "Hey!" I said, "I think you're rubbing off on me. I just left my water bottle downstairs."

"Do you know where it is?" he asked.

"Yep," I answered.

"Well then," he told me, "I haven't rubbed off on you enough!"

School Daze Chapter 6: Dynamic Duo

I teach one class each year that has a mix of both special and general education students. As an inclusion class, it also has an instructional assistant assigned to work with me to meet the needs of all of the kids in there. This year, I am lucky to be working with a guy who is also a former teacher.

As such, he has a lot of experience and a sharp eye for student needs, and so far, we form a pretty good team. In fact one of the students in our class today asked me if we were married.

I laughed and told him no.

"Oh," he said, "I just thought so, 'cause you're like our school Mom and Dad."

"Really?" I answered. "Well, I think we're more like you're school Batman and Robin!"