Sunday, February 8, 2015

Applied Weather Report

As much as we talk about the weather, most people, including me, don't really understand it: cold front, warm front, jet stream, high pressure, low pressure, what? All most of us care about is should I bring a sweater, an umbrella, or both tomorrow?

We live in a little development tucked away on a hill bordered by some woods, but the interstate is less than half a mile away, and there are train tracks not too much further beyond that. I know, because I know, but I also know, because when there is a low pressure system in place, I can hear the hum of traffic and the rumble of the trains, but high pressure keeps those sound waves where they are.

Neat, right?

Saturday, February 7, 2015

The Ox

We saw this year's Oscar-nominated documentary shorts today, and they were interesting but offered a rather bleak window on the world, one that was difficult to gaze out of at times. Probably the hardest one for me was The Reaper about a Mexican meat packer. Most of the 32 minute film is a graphic account of his job at the slaughter house.

My brother and I sat side by side, and I knew what he was thinking as we watched, because I was thinking the same thing. In the summer of 1979 we visited a high school friend of ours who lived outside of Chicago, and her dad thought it would be good for us to tour the slaughterhouse where he was a USDA inspector. The plant in the movie was a lot like the one we visited 35 years ago.

I've written about the experience before. Here is an excerpt from my piece:

Heat shimmered up from the asphalt parking lot surrounding the urban corral, and the smell of livestock and some other thick odor was suffocating. The August mid-morning sun reflected off the windshield of one of the cars, hitting me dead in the eyes. I turned my head to avoid the glare and saw a hundred head of terrified cattle standing hock-deep in piss and mud. Two men in filthy t-shirts and waders prodded the cows forward toward what appeared to be a double stall. Another man with big orange headphones under his ball cap stood in front of the cows, just outside the two-pen, holding a broomstick with a shiny metal cylinder at the end. He raised it surely, touching the end of it to a spot on the first cow’s forehead, right between its eyes. There was a small bang, and the cow fell dead in its stall. He shot the next one, and the whole pen rotated like a giant wheel with four spokes, dropping the two dead cows beneath, and opening two vacant stalls for the next in line.

“Did you see that?” our host exclaimed. “Now that’s efficiency! Your Pepsi generation could learn a thing or two there, eh?” I grimaced and nodded politely, but with a shrug. I looked over at my friend, Renata; she avoided making eye contact. “Let’s go inside,” her father continued, holding the huge silver door to the slaughterhouse open with a flourish and a bow.

Shouldering my way through the long plastic streamers that insulated the entryway, the first thing I noticed as I crossed the threshold was the visible vapor of my breath. My heart leapt as if it were the first cold day in winter, and the crispness of the refrigerated air made it seem much cleaner. I felt wide-awake and free of the fetid stockyard that we’d left behind. As Dr. P. signed us in, there was a lot of hearty laughter and backslapping, and I knew right away that we were VIPs— guests of the USDA meat inspector. As we stood waiting for our tour to begin, the death of the cows outside played over in my mind in a slow-mo loop. They were upset; their sides twitched and their necks twisted; their eyes rolled back white in their heads, and then they were dead, and more scared cows took their places.

We saw the rest of the meatpacking plant in the next couple of hours. It wasn’t long before the welcome cool of the place turned dank. We started at the bottom, near the conveyer belt where the cows dropped. A rubber-coated worker clipped their tails to a hook on a wire that lifted them so that they floated along upside-down, suspended from a winding industrial track overhead. They barely paused at the first station, pirouetting gently as a man beheaded them with power saw, letting the heads drop onto a belt that whisked them away in another direction. Zip, zip, zip, zip—four hooves and hocks removed and tossed into a plastic lined dumpster. Next stop was a quick slit down the gut, and hundreds of pounds of entrails sloshed to the belt below, where off they were carried, as well.

Chilled now, we walked along rubber mats over floors of slick concrete with lots of drains. There were hoses on each wall, sluiceways beneath the belts, and pools of bright blood everywhere. The cows, most black, but some a rusty auburn and white, swayed along beside us matching our pace before jerking to a stop and being seized at the shoulders by two robotic arms with clamps for hands; they pulled the hides off the animals like a sweater from a sleepy child. Fortunately, the clatter of the disassembly line covered whatever sound that that procedure makes. In fact, it was too noisy to talk, and that was a good thing, too.

Once gutted and skinned, the headless carcass was quickly quartered and was soon even recognizable as cuts of meat from the grocery store. Dr. P. pulled a blue stamp from the pocket of his pristine white lab coat, and a small group of employees smiled proudly as he ceremoniously thumped it down on the deconstructed rump of what had been a live animal no more than an hour ago. “USDA Prime!” he exclaimed to our applause.

In the back seat on the way home I noticed that the cuffs of my new Osh Kosh b'Gosh overalls were damp. A thin ribbon of blood soaked the sharp edge of blue and white pinstripes. It never washed out.

Friday, February 6, 2015

Job Interview

My students are about to embark on a project where they will work with a partner to create a piece of fiction written in the form of letters exchanged. How to pair them most effectively? Such questions are the authentic stuff of education.

For my part, I want students to feel they have had some choice, but I don't want them to set themselves up for unnecessary difficulty or even failure, so I have devised an activity called "Job Interview." The kids think about what they want in an ideal work partner and generate a list of questions. Then, they conduct interviews of their classmates to see who might best fill the position.

It's always amazing to see how seriously sixth graders take this activity. Their questions are probing and their responses are earnest and quite thoughtful.

How are you as a writer?

My handwriting is really neat.

But what about, you know, the ideas?

I have a good imagination, too.

Okay, good!

Do you have any ideas about this project?

Yes! I know what I want to write about!

Will you compromise if somebody has a different idea?

[Long pause...] I will listen to anything.

In the end, they submit a proposal ranking their choices to me, the CEO of our operation, and, so informed, I assign the teams.

Thursday, February 5, 2015

And the Other One is Giving a High Five

I was walking around the class room this afternoon monitoring 11 pairs of sixth graders engaged in lively discussions about a couple of characters in the short story we had just read together. I paused at one table, confused to see a large stainless steel soup spoon laid next to a binder as if set for lunch. "What is that?" I asked the student sitting there.

"A spoon," he answered.

"But why is it there?" I continued.

"It was in my pocket," he told me.

"From lunch?" I guessed.

"Nope," he said.

Then why?" I wondered.

He shrugged. "I have no idea. I just reached in for a pencil and there it was."

Years ago, on the first cold night of Autumn, we took Josh and Treat, then ten-years-old, to a "haunted forest" for Halloween. Emily pulled last season's warm coats from the back of the closet and  the boys squeezed into them, then stepped back so we could evaluate the fit. They were snug, but fine for one evening and Treat slipped his hands into familiar pockets as we headed out into the cold dark.

"Hey--" He paused at the door and produced a pair of underwear. "What are these doing here?"

We laughed and figured that he must have stuffed them away after an overnight trip either to our house or his grandparents'. "Are they clean?" I asked. "Because they might come in handy if the forest is as scary as they say!"

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

For Want of a Pencil

It's a tough call.

We want our students to be responsible and bring the supplies they need to class, BUT we also want them to do the work. What does a stubborn teacher accomplish when she refuses to provide a pencil to a student without? Most of the time it's just a kid sitting there doing nothing, usually distracting others, because, let's face it, if they want to do the work? They'll find a pencil.

On the other hand, if we just give pencils out whenever someone doesn't have one, not many kids will see the need to bring one. What kind of life lesson is that?

These days, my strategy is to provide but inform. When someone asks for a pencil more than once or twice, I hand it over, but I also email their parents. In general, it works, and in fact just yesterday I got the best reply ever:

OH MY LORD, Ms. S. I am sorry you had to write the email. I will make sure this air head of my son will gather the thousands of pencils he leaves all around the house and bring to school.

May the power be with you.

And today?

That kid had a pencil.

Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Troubled Waters

"It's a pilot," they say. "Stop trouble-finding. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it."

"Accidentally" crushed iPad?

Okay... let's see what's on the other side of that bridge.


Monday, February 2, 2015

We Interrupt Your Regular Programming

This is the time of year when there is a definite lull in television options for us. Members of the three-channel, test-pattern generation as we are, it's not that there is nothing on, it's just that there is nothing on. Our situation is probably further complicated by the fact that we have 90 minutes, MAX, a day to sit down and watch anything, so many times when there are shows that sound interesting or promising, we ignore them because we know they probably won't fit in with our one-maybe-two shows a night habit.

But in late January, early February, there aren't a lot of new episodes of the targeted female 45-55 demographic programs that we enjoy, so we branch out. In past years, we've taken the opportunity to hop on the bandwagon of some of those shows we formerly shunned for lack of time. For example, The Good Wife is now a staple on our DVR, but they're not broadcasting right now. Last year, Breaking Bad filled the void, and this year? It's The Sopranos. We just finished season one, and I now that I have time to get the fuss, I totally get the fuss.

It doesn't seem that long ago that Tony, Carmella, and Dr. Melfi were permanent fixtures at all the award ceremonies, but watching the show from its 1999 beginning is like traveling in a time machine, and the Twin Towers in the opening sequence are the keys. Oh, I know the final episode famously fades to black, but that's really all I know, and I plan to keep it that way, even as the other shows I like come back on the air.