There Is That

"We should have three days of school a week and four days off!" one of my students suggested the other day, at least 24 hours before a snow storm came along and granted his wish.

Many of the kids in the class nodded in agreement. I didn't blame them; who wouldn't want more time off?

"You mean have three longer days in school?" I asked.

"No!" he shrugged. "Just three regular days."

There were more nods, but at least one of his classmates was not convinced. Frowning, he raised his hand. "What are you going to do about being dumb?" 

A Logic of Romance

I heard today that the average American spends 133 dollars on Valentines Day, a figure that gave me pause because my own expenditures were so far below that number. A moment later, though, Jacques Torres, of chocolate fame, described the last minute Valentine shoppers who patronize his store. If they spend over a hundred dollars, I know they're in trouble, he said. 

I prefer to consider the contrapositive.

Y and X

A friend posted the following question on her Facebook page:

Predictions for school tomorrow? Weigh in.

Two men and three women commented as follows:

1. Forecast for rain and then more snow... Means frozen slush and 0% chance. Happy 5 day weekend/loss of teacher workday.

2. All the secondary factors like sidewalks blocked by plowed snow, covered parking lots, messy hills on bus routes, etc. make school very unlikely if it drops below freezing this evening. Plus the schools save many thousands by not turning the heat back up until Tuesday. I don't know if a state of emergency counts against snow days.

3. No way.

4. Nope.

5. Not happening.

What happened to men of few words?

Go Big AND Go Home

More winter weather is predicted for us tonight. Although we have had no huge snow events, this winter has turned out a string of minor nuisances. As welcome as the days out of school have been, by February our thoughts inevitably turn to the price we may pay once warmer weather returns.

Here's how our district has it all figured out:

One more snow day = no make up days; we've got five built into the calendar.

Two more snow days and we lose the teacher work day scheduled for March 31.

After that it's all up in the air with some days made up and others not, but at 10 days total, the state will give us an emergency dispensation, and nothing need be done to be in compliance.

Yes, please.

Not Black and White

At our school the morning announcements are broadcast via close-circuit TV. I often say, only semi-ironically, that it's my favorite show, because I really like seeing students both past and present on TV. Plus, I'm kind of a slave to the small screen.

In fact, I even get a little thrill when I meet one of the student broadcasters for the first time. "Oh yes," I'll say, only somewhat bashfully, "I've seen you on the morning announcements. Great work!"

One of the gimmicks of the show is to wish everyone a some-kind-of day-of-the-week. In the early days, it was a "wacky Wednesday" or a "fun Friday," but of course the stakes have been raised over the years. Thus it was that they wished us all a "Shirley Temple Tuesday" this morning.

"Awwwww," I said to my homeroom, "that's sad. She died yesterday."

"What?!" one of the students replied in shock. "What happened?"

"Well," I answered, "she was 85, you know." I shrugged.

"85? Then how is Betty White even still alive?" he demanded.

Pronoun Antecedent

After seeing Her yesterday, I guess I shouldn't have been all that surprised when the self-serve kiosk at the post office today told me, "I'm sorry, but I can't print small labels right now. Will a larger version be okay?"

It was the pronoun 'I' that threw me off. Oh, I knew what it meant, but I still thought it was weird. 'I' who?

Now, maybe if the machine had actually spoken to me, perhaps in Scarlett Johansson's voice...

Two Stars Up

A movie review in one sentence:

We saw Her today, and it was definitely the best movie I've seen in a while; not only was it an interesting exploration of intelligence, humanity, love, and even the Singularity, but I actually liked the protagonist-- Theodore Twombley was a sweet guy-- and it was really refreshing to see a non-dystopian depiction of the future, a future where they must have invented privacy glass for high rise all-windows apartments, and where the clothes look super-comfortable.