May the Road Rise to Meet You

The question of the day was What is something you did that you will never do again? In addition to our check-in conversation, I was aiming for the students to uncover an alphabiography topic (a short personal narrative with a life lesson at the end), and for many the prompt did just that. 

Never again will they

walk behind a metal swing while someone's on it

leave the house without money

take a road trip without a charger

ride a roller coaster

touch an electric fence with a slice of pizza in the other hand (Spoiler alert! The cow got the pizza.) 

eat a whole habenero

wear white to school

walk away from the oven when cookies are baking

take a test without studying

eat sushi

run around like crazy near barbed wire

stick tweezers in the outlet

take a deep breath of salt and vinegar chips

go to online school

prank call the police

text the wrong person

cut their own hair

touch a cicada

pour sand on a leaf and eat it

steal from their parents

swim with sharks

expect school to be fun and easy 

 Lesson?

Learned.

Come What May

As we putter on in to the final weeks of the school year, We are offering our students a choice of mini-projects to demonstrate what they have learned this year. One of the options is a tried-and-true assignment: a letter to the future you. As part of the planning process students fill out an outline with all sorts of questions to help them think about who they are now and who they might be when they open this letter. Reading through their replies is always a joy-- they are so funny and honest, and I am always reminded of why I have chosen to spend so many years in the company of tweens. 

The last question is What are some words of wisdom you have for yourself?

Only a handful of kids have completed this part so far, but here are their unedited thoughts:

Study hard because I'm coming for you

Know what’s weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything will change. (Bill Wattersom) 

 you are powerful beyond measure 

 Me, I want you to remember to keep your love of learning, learn math, and I want you to remember that whenever times are hard, I want you to go out for fresh air and spend time with those we love. You are UNIQUE!

if live gives you lemons throw them at somebody cause why do you want lemons the only thing i can think of that lemons are good for is steak and there is better stuff to put on steak and limes are better cause they can be used for more things 

 I hope that I’m still the one who helps out my friends with my listening and advice. 

 You learn more from failure than from success... 

 “Hard work means nothing if you don’t believe in yourself” 

 Dont do anything stupid

Mayhaps

 "What would you say your slogan is?" one of my homeroom students asked me today.

"You mean my motto?" I clarified.

"Yeah, your catchphrase," he responded.

"Is it Can I talk to you in the hall??" one of his snarkier classmates suggested. He's heard that several times since he's been back in person. "I bet it is!" he doubled down.

"To be honest," I replied, "I wish I never had to say those words again." I tilted my head at him. "But how likely is that?" I asked.

He shrugged, noncommittal.

And there you have it.

Maybe, Maybe Not

"That's an understatement," I said to my friend Mary as we worked on the last unit of the school year.

"Well, it's not hyperbole," she agreed.

"What's the opposite of hyperbole?" I wondered.

"Understatement," Mary answered. 

"Or something with 'hypo'," Heidi suggested as she entered my classroom ready to leave for the day.

"Hy-po-bo-le?" I said, and then laughed uproariously, because it is such a silly sounding word. (Say it! You'll see.)

"Oh the fun we have when English teachers get together," Mary proclaimed.

Later, I decided to do a little research and see if there actually was any such thing as hypobole. Indeed there is, but it is not the opposite of hyperbole. No, the term refers to some sort of rhetorical device where one sets up a string of counterarguments just to knock 'em down. That hypobole does sound kind of fun.

But in fact, the antonym of hyperbole is actually 'litotes' (pronounced lid'-uh-teez), and most often is an understatement phrased in terms of what something is not. 

For example, "Well, it's not hyperbole."

Well! I'm no expert, but it seems like Mary nailed it.

May We Meet Again

Today was the first day of state testing, and as the schedule would have, it the kids who have been virtual all year were slated to come into the building and take their reading SOL. I, too, was scheduled to appear despite the promise of asynchronous Mondays until the end of the year. 

To be honest, it wasn't too bad, there was an in-the-trenches camaraderie among the staff that was there, an attitude that made it easier to get through the planning and tech issues that always plague that first day of testing. (Did I say plague? Yes, yes I did.) 

But the benefit of the day was the 15 minutes or so I spent in the theater where the sixth graders were sent before being shuttled off to their testing groups. There, I met in person at least a dozen kids who until then had been only elementary school photos in my grade book and disembodied voices on the call for class. 

Finding them was a little tricky: does anyone have me for English? I called as I entered the auditorium. There were a few waves, and in most cases the combination of muffled voice and eyes above the mask was actually enough for me to identify them. It was really kind of awesome, that in-person human connection, and although I can't say for sure? I think most of them were smiling behind those masks.

A May Day

Bill and Emily came to help me in the garden today.  And what champion help they were! 

To begin with, Bill tossed several 40 pound bags of top soil up and over the six-foot, barbed-wire topped chain link fence!

Next, Emily completely cleared the fence line of English Ivy. "Getting rid of ivy is a hobby of mine," she said.  Well, have at it, girl!

Then Bill added the topsoil and conditioner to the raised beds and roto-tilled it all in.

Meanwhile, I hammered in an edging for the flower and herb bed that skirts the fence.

Finally, Bill used the pick axe to set the trellis for the beans deep enough into the soil so it would stand by itself, and I planted 7 tomatoes, 5 little okra, a couple of peppers, a coneflower and a tiny little basil plant.

A couple of hours later the plot was looking good, and more importantly? It was in a condition where no one will scold me, at least for a few weeks.

Thanks you guys!

End Note: While researching the title of this post, I discovered that the term mayday originated as a radio call in the 1920's and is derived from a shortened version of the French term "venez m'aider", or come help me!

I Can't Tell

Lately I feel more forgetful and curmudgeonly than ever before. Sometimes I have zero recollection of what trusted sources assure me I said or did, and some days? Cranky is my middle name. 

I would give you a specific example, but I can't think of one right now, and frankly it irritates me that I should have to do that. See what I mean?

My question, though, is this: is it situational-- the stress of living and teaching in these trying times, or could it be that gentle decline of aging? But the follow-up inquiry is perhaps more relevant: how and why does it matter?

I'll keep you posted.