Eviction Notice

The little dove in the nest we accidentally let its parents build in the eaves of our deck finally fledged on Friday. It was nerve-wracking and exciting to see it take its first tentative flight, first to the railing and then to the crab apple tree beyond. Despite its stubby tail feathers and downy wings the chick seemed sturdy and as confident as any mourning dove can be. The parents perched nearby, flitting from one branch to another, but it wasn't long before we were all confident that the little bird would be okay.

And then we knocked that nest right down.

Taking the Average

Despite the no cooking restriction, yesterday was a pretty good eating day. After clear liquids and fasting the day before, I figured I could eat double the usual with a few extra treats.

It seems only fair.

Advice and Consent

When my procedure was over, the nurse read the discharge instructions:

No driving.
Sure.
No making important decisions--
avoid signing anything.
Okay.
No drinking.
Mmmm...
No cooking.
Now that's just crazy talk!

More TFD Tales

In a first, I had to turn down a Teacher-for-a-Day proposal.

"I want to teach the class the difference between serial killers and spree killers," a student told me this morning. "Don't worry, it won't be too violent."

I paused, considering imaginary conversations in imaginary cars on the way to imaginary soccer practices or around imaginary dinner tables. Guess what we learned in English today? they might begin, and they would probably end with a phone call or an email to me.

"I don't think so," I said. "Not every sixth grader is ready for that topic."

She shrugged without surprise. "Then can I bring in my dog to show how I teach him tricks?"

Expert Advice

"We want to teach the class how to do a Rubik's Cube," a couple of students in my 6th period class told me today. They were finished with their profiles and ready to embark on the very last assignment of the year, Teacher for a Day.

"Cool!" I said as they handed over their lesson plan.

Scanning the sheet I saw that they planned a lot of talking and then a quiz. "Hmm," I said. "You've been in this class all year. How do you think that's going to work?"

"What else can we do?" they asked.

I shrugged. "Find a video, make a slideshow, borrow some Rubik's Cubes, have a competition, make a kahoot?"

Their eyes widened. "Wow!" said one, "You really know what you're doing!'

It's Only a Day Away

A student spent the whole class chatting with another kid even though his 500 word writing piece is due tomorrow. After intervening several times, I finally called him over to my desk in frustration. "Hey," I said, "if you want to spend the rest of the year talking to your friends, let me know. I'll just put the zeroes in my gradebook now, and leave you alone."

He was indignant! "You can't do that!" he huffed. "You have to wait until the due date to give me a zero!"

I raised my eyebrows.

He scowled. "It's your deadline!" Then he stomped back across the room to continue his conversation.

That Old Familiar Sushi

I was on the sidewalk of nearby shopping center when a woman coming toward me stopped. "Well, hi!" she waved. She was white, about my age, with a thick country accent.

Not recognizing her, I looked back over my shoulder and spotted the person she was talking to, an older woman using her cane to ease her way out of an older sedan.

"Hello!" she called back in an even thicker drawl. "What are y'all doing here?"

"We're going for some tacos!" the first lady told her, gesturing to the fast-casual restaurant to her left. "How 'bout you?"

"We're going for the sushi," said her friend, pointing at the place next door.

"Would you like to join us?" asked the woman on the sidewalk.

"Oh no," the older lady waved her hand dismissively. "We don't really like to try anything new."