In Like

I wanted to love The Shape of Water, but I didn't. Since it was inconsistently touching and charming, and it had that amazing water droplet on the bus window scene, we can still be friends, as long as it leaves the rest of the cats alone.

Bone Appetit!

I was flipping through Rachel Ray's magazine the other day, when my cousin asked me a question.

"Have you tried the dog food in there?" she wondered. "It's supposed to be very healthy."

"Uh..." I hesitated, confused. "The dog food? Me? Personally?"

For a moment she was confused, too, but then she laughed. "No! Rachel has a dog food!"

"Oh!" I laughed, too. "No."

"Wow!" she said. "You must be tired!"

Budget Buster

What you get when you go to a big box warehouse store *just* to see if they have a deal on a pair of leggings:

3 English cucumbers
1 large clamshell of Campari tomatoes
1 pound of cheddar
1 pound of swiss
3 jars of tomato sauce
a rotisserie chicken
a pair of sneakers
a giant bottle of shampoo
and

3!

pairs
of
leggings

Origins

This time for my intervention period I have the advanced learners. Each morning twenty four of the brightest kids on the team pack into my room to learn about etymology. It is a much different vibe from my last two little book groups.

For example this morning they were busily creating electronic flash cards to learn some Greek and Latin roots. "Why does spir mean breathe?" one student asked. "How is that related to the word spirit?"

"Well," I answered, "it's the non-physical part of you, as insubstantial but as essential as your breath."

Her eyes widened. "Wow!" she said. "Mind. Blown. This is really cool stuff!"

I totally agree.

Colluding Colluders

Poor little Tibby in the cone went to get her stitches out and came home still in the cone and with a ten day supply of antibiotics.

Dang! Heidi and I said to each other, if ever we were vigilant with pet in "recovery collar" it was with Tibby.

Could one of your other pets be cleaning her incision? the vet wondered.

No way! we replied. Untie the collar, sure, but actually lick her belly? Not a chance.

And yet, as unlikely as it seemed, yesterday Heidi caught Tibby, head in cone,  peacefully reclining on her back in the easy chair while Lucy ever-so-gently slobbered all over the infected incision.

Doh! Maybe they all should be wearing cones.

The Secret Life of Printers

Years ago we named our team printer "Christine" after the car in Stephen King's novel of the same name. Christine the printer was temperamental in some of the same ways, favoring me when it came to her somewhat capricious performance, just as the car showed fierce loyalty to Arnie.

When other teachers got error messages, I got fast, clean copies. When Christine jammed, which became increasingly common, I could usually fix her in a jiffy. Perhaps it helped that she was located in my classroom, and maybe it was that the irritation of constant interruptions never bothered me much, but although I put in many help desk tickets for attention to Christine over the years, I was never frustrated by the printer situation.

Oh, she was never murderous, although there were many who wanted to beat on her, but then again, I was never threatened in her presence either. Who can say what she might have done to protect me?

And now, we'll never know. After 10 years of inconsistent service, Christine was unceremoniously replaced this afternoon while I was at a meeting. The new printer seems nice-- much smaller and faster and quieter and hopefully more reliable to all who use it-- but I have to confess to a bit of twinge when I walked in and found Christine had left the building.

Tough Love

I have a student this year who is openly struggling with her family's mixed acceptance of her sexuality. At 11, she identifies as gay, and the response at home has been mixed. The issue is complicated by the fact that her biological dad is estranged from the family, and she has had no contact with him for several years. Even though she is pretty sure he would reject her even more than he already has, she longs to come out to him.

Emotionally, all of that would be a very full plate for anyone, never mind such a young person, and my heart goes out to her. But it's tough for me, as a teacher, when time and again, she uses her struggle as the reason she is doing zero school work. She has a lot of support from adults at our school, but she has never reached out to me personally. Last week, I kept her for lunch detention so she could complete a few assignments.

Right away, there were some tears. "You don't understand!" she said.

I raised my eyebrow and listened with sympathy.

"I think I do understand," I told her, "and I'm really sorry that you are having such a hard time." I paused and made eye contact. "But I also know that gay people can get their work done."