Enough is Enough

I brought the pair of girlfriend chinos up to the register at the Gap. "Oh these are great pants!" the cashier gushed. "Lots of people buy several pairs because they come in so many colors and they fit so well."

I nodded politely. "I can see that," I said.

"Are you sure you don't want any more girlfriends?" he asked.

"Oh no," I laughed and looked over my shoulder at Heidi. "I definitely have all I need!"

Low Expectations

I had a district-wide meeting for all middle school English teachers today. This year the department has organized break-out sessions in lieu of collective congregations, and we can choose between four or five presentations to find the one that best suits our professional needs and/or desires.

In general, it's a pretty good model, especially since they usually get folks from our local chapter of The National Writing Project to present one of the options. That was the one I chose today, but it was still with some reluctance that I packed my things and left my classroom at 2:40, a good 2-3 hours earlier than usual, and headed off to another middle school.

The Writing Project presentations are always heavy on participation and writing-- they put you in the student seat even as they are providing the tools and techniques a teacher might use. The session I attended today was no exception; it was hands on and creative, and I had fun and got a couple of concrete lesson ideas.

As we filed out of the room I found myself next to another teacher I know only slightly.  It was a little awkward at first, until I looked her in the eye. "That was painless!" I said.

She laughed and nodded in agreement, and I waved as I pushed open one of the heavy double doors and walked out into the afternoon sunshine.

The Upside

I read recently that one path to a more positive life is to find the blessing in every aggravation. Bummed by the laundry? Be thankful for the clothes. Work got you down? Appreciate the paycheck. Feeling old and sore? Consider the alternative.

I tried it out at home a few weeks ago, but the third time I mentioned the "upside" to something Heidi was venting about, she told me if I was going to keep on doing that? She was just going to stop talking.

Since then I've applied the principal privately, which gives me a chance to think before I speak.

Namaste.

Droning On

They saw me coming.

The retailers at that discount store knew what they were doing when they set up the "pre" checkout line as a kind of a chute stocked with all sorts of appealing little doodads. As shoppers file through in an orderly queue waiting for the next available register, there are hundreds more things to look at, pick up, and perhaps even buy.

That's how I got my drone. Never even in the market for such a gadget, I got one glimpse of the flashy black and red quadcopter just as I rounded the last bend or that materialistic gauntlet and grabbed the box as I went by. It was paid for and in my bag before I even gave it a second thought, a bargain at $19.99.

That was Wednesday, and I held off even buying batteries for it until the weekend, thinking maybe, just maybe, I would come to my senses and return it. I'm so glad I didn't though, because once I got the thing operational, it was extremely entertaining. Oh, I terrified the cat and dog and crashed it all over the house, running its tiny battery down several times before I could even begin to control it. It gave me hours of Sunday fun.

And while I did improve a bit, there was still so much room for growth that I slipped it into my lunch bag this morning, so that I might practice a little at school. As I unpacked my food for the day, I set the tiny flyer and its controller on my desk and when my homeroom arrived they spotted it immediately and asked to see it fly. Only too happy to oblige, I maneuvered my drone like a big clumsy mosquito all over the classroom.

"Can I try it?" they all were desperate to know.

And here's where that teacher's motivational instinct kicked in automatically. "Maybe" I answered, "What would you do to earn a turn?"

"What do you mean?" they asked.

"Submit a proposal," I suggested, pointing to a stack of 4x6 index cards on my desk. "Think of something that would be good for you to do. It should be kind of hard, too. AND, we have to know whether you did it or not by a specific time."

"I'm going to get better grades in math and science!" one student said right away.

"Better than what?" I asked him, "And by when?"

They gave me a collective frown.

"I'm going to do my reading log tonight," another promised.

"You would do that anyway," I told her. "Think of something a little more challenging.

And in this way, I made contracts with about half of the kids to read more, write more, organize more, and be on time more.

The drone is standing by.

Consumer Education

Target was crowded this Sunday afternoon and, shopping done, we found ourselves at the front of the store searching for the shortest line. We had way too much for express, but as we passed, our attention was drawn to one woman who stood a little apart from the actual queue. "Are you in line, or not?" she asked loudly.

Eyebrows up, my head snapped around to see who she was talking to.

A little girl of perhaps 10 stood timidly several feet from the belt. "Yes," she answered.

"Well act like it!" her mother encouraged her. "Move on up!"

The child complied, perhaps a little too enthusiastically.

"Whoa!" the woman advised from the sideline. "Not too close! Give the people some room."

The little girl took half a step back.

Her coach nodded from the sideline.

We pushed our cart past, secure in the knowledge that there will be competent shoppers for generations to come.

Maximum Sparklage

"Ya'll should bring your ukuleles over and I'll play piano," our neighbor suggested this morning. I was practicing my picks, rolls, and strums while we were hanging out drinking coffee.

I laughed. "Then we could start a band!" I replied. "But what would our name be?"

Our dogs, Lady and Isabel, were snoring contentedly at our feet. "How about Lady Bell?" I suggested, "or maybe just call it what it is: Three Chicks, Two Ukuleles, and a Piano."

Our conversation wandered on to other things, but later Heidi was telling me about a shopping trip she had taken with the same neighbor. who was shopping for outdoor lighting and couldn't decide between two fixtures, because, "She wanted maximum sparklage!" Heidi said.

I snapped my fingers. "Now that's a band name!" 

Define "Sense"

April 1 means we say goodbye to Slice of Life and hello to poetry in my sixth grade English class.

Oh, the hundred day writing challenge continues, and those who have the "write stuff" will also have 30 poems written by the end of the month. Such accomplishment takes some explaining however, and as I stood before my class this morning introducing the very first daily poem, haiku, a hand waved to me from the corner of the room.

"Wait! Do these poems have to make sense?" she asked.

"Well, yes," I answered. "Even though you are limited in syllables and lines, your reader should know what you are writing about."

"Why?" she frowned, "My slice of life never made any sense!"