Friday, October 2, 2015

High Expectations

Tonight we met an old friend of Heidi's for a celebration dinner. Just a few years older than I am, Trudi retired as of yesterday. After 30 years of teaching, at 55 she's moving back to upstate New York to be close to her family and care for her 85-year-old mom. It was a nice meal, and full of laughter as Heidi and Trudi recounted their many antics working together for 25 years as special education teachers and swimming instructors.

Their approach to the many exceptional kids they have taught over the years may be considered a bit old school these days. Rather than coddle recalcitrant kids, these two are always very direct and firm about their expectations. They believe that everyone can follow rules.

As an example, Trudi told us about a kindergarten student who tore a piece from the bulletin board every time he came into the gym. His teachers scolded him, but shrugged apologetically. Clearly he was unable to understand how inappropriate his action were.

After a few weeks, Trudi grabbed a stapler and took the little boy by the hand. Together they repaired the bulletin board, hand over hand, piece by piece, and when they were done?

He didn't tear it down again. 

Thursday, October 1, 2015

Unexcused Tardy

It takes time for new sixth graders to adjust to the novelty of their middle school schedule, which is why the month of September is practically a grace period for tardies and other miscellaneous mis-steps.

This morning, though, as the new month dawned and one of my homeroom students came in late for the third day in a row, it was time for a harder line. Still, I wanted to know if there were perhaps some circumstances beyond his control before I sent him off to the office.

The announcements were already on when he opened the door. I made eye contact. "Is there some reason you're late? I whispered.

"Yeah!" he replied, sotto voce.

"What?" I asked him.

"I was at home," he told me.

Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Dodging Bullets

On the day after Back-to-School Night, we teachers often sit yawning and around trading war stories. In addition to the majority of perfectly nice people, there's always that parent who wouldn't leave, the one who was rather aggressive in their questions, or someone who was simply bizarre. At the close of my 23rd BtSN, I had seen them all, but not last night.

All my parents were very well-behaved, particularly the couple who had both previously been my students. They listened politely and even seemed to appreciate my humor. Unfortunately, I can't say the same for the other teachers on my team. To my surprise, my colleagues all reported questions, push-back, and follow-up emails from the very same parents who were so tame in my class.

I guess seniority does have its privileges!

Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Nuts, Ten Ways

I sat next to the French teacher at a meeting this afternoon. "Thanks again for yesterday," she said, and explained to our coworker to her left about the duck, duck, goose-nosebleed incident.

"That's a cool way to teach vocabulary," our colleague said. She used to teach French herself, and so she probed a little deeper. "Do they use numbers, too?"

"Oh sure," the French teacher said. "And, by the way, I finally saw Deez Nuts on the internet. Do you know who he is? The sixth graders can't get past that meme whenever we count to ten," she sighed.

I was checking my email and listening idly to their conversation. "Deez Nuts?" I asked. "Isn't that the kid running for president?"

The silence was deafening. I looked up to see both of them frowning, jaws dropped. My heart skipped a beat, and I wondered for a moment if I had said something terribly wrong. My fingers flew to the keyboard, and fortunately Google did not disappoint.

We were both correct-- and, by the way? Deez Nuts is also a 1992 song by Dr. Dre.


Monday, September 28, 2015

Bien Sur

It has become my habit to escape the artificial environment of my school building at least once a day for about 10 minutes. I usually walk around the trail that encircles our campus. A stroll that at just under 3/4 of a mile will thaw the chill from my air-conditioned flesh in the warm months and clear the fog from brain in cooler times is an investment in efficiency.

Today as I headed out, I passed the French teacher and a student with his head tilted way back and his hands covering his face, heading in. "Nosebleed!" I stated the obvious, and they were past me before I could say much more.

Up ahead I saw a small group of sixth graders sitting in a ring on the grass. As I approached I noticed that one of them slow-skipped along the outside of their circle. "Canard!" he sang as he rapped each on the head. The other kids grew impatient with his selectivity as I stood to watch. At last he cried, "Oie!" and the girl he tapped rose and chased him. He had a good lead on her, but unfortunately he slid into the wrong spot.

"Faitout!" the group shouted, and into the stew pot he slunk.

"Merci!" my colleague said as she returned.

"De rien," I nodded and set off on my way.

Sunday, September 27, 2015

Long Suffering

How helpful it is to keep a daily record of one's activities, even if it is anecdotal. Not 10 minutes ago I took the last two Tylenol from a ginormous container. My, I thought, that certainly lasted a long time, and I wondered how long indeed. Then I recalled that I had actually written about buying the bottle on this blog. I knew, because my friend Roula had commented on the post, advising me to throw them away. But I didn't listen, and a quick search took me right back to December 6, 2013, and now I know that 350 extra strength Tylenol have a shelf life of almost 2 years around here.

Saturday, September 26, 2015

Risk-Taker

It was sobering news this morning when I heard that more people died by selfie than by shark this year.

For while I might think twice about swimming at a beach where sharks had been spotted, the Selfie Project must go on.