Sincerely

I've been reading a lot of sixth grade fiction-in-progress lately. At this stage, I try to keep my comments to these ernest young writers encouraging; we can fix grammar, spelling, and even minor plot inconsistencies in the second drafts. The other day, though, when I read through a tale about two brothers fighting a harrowing war in some dystopic future who are exchanging letters with their parents at home, I couldn't keep silent:

Dear Max,

Try to keep Alex up and working, if we lose this war we could all be destroyed. We are doing fine except we are very worried. We hope it will end soon. Do your best to survive, and take care of yourself and Alex.

From,
Your mom

"Hey guys?" I called over to the co-authors. "I'm pretty sure their mother would sign her letter 'Love'!"

Epidemic

Unfortunately, a number of my students came down with an insidious ailment yesterday while I was away from my classroom on a personal day.

Sub-induced Amnesia

Evidently, it struck swiftly and hit hard. Children forgot many of the classroom protocols that have been in place since September. They couldn't remember their assigned seats or how to read the directions on the simplest of assignments. Reportedly, they even stood on their chairs and shouted to other students across the room.

And yet, when questioned about these anomalous behaviors, just 24 hours later, they only had one recollection.

The sub said we could.

Spin Doctors

I, like two billion of my fellow citizens of this planet, saw a picture of a cute puppy on the internet recently. This particular pup was a cross between a Bernese mountain dog and a poodle. Called a "Bernedoodle" it was an adorable little tri-color schmuppy, with moppy hair and sleepy eyes.

It did, in fact, resemble our own darlin dog, but with a Swiss twist which I found irresistible. With Google ever at the ready, I searched up a breeder in my state and clicked around their website. Those puppies are pricey, but that wasn't my main concern. BMDs are notoriously short-lived: along with Great Danes and Saint Bernards, those guys are lucky to make it to double digits. I was hoping that a little poodle in the gene pool might lengthen their longevity.

Alas, that seems not to be the case, but the way the information was delivered by this particular establishment made me gasp in horror and then laugh out loud at their audacity of commerce:

The Bernedoodle has an average lifespan of 11 years, which is below average compared to all other dog breeds. Therefore, the Bernedoodle is ideal for people looking for a shorter-term financial and emotional commitment in a canine companion.

Golden Boy

Here we are in the grip of Oscar fever. Our ballots are filled and a fine dinner prepared-- a yummy spread of tapas with shrimp, lamb chops, patatas bravas, roasted peppers, roasted beets, pea salad, mini pizzas, and a couple of nice spinach dishes-- we have settled in to graze and celebrity-watch the red carpet pre-show.

Of course that means a lot of commercials, and so in between our chatter about dresses and hair, who looks gold and who looks old, we also talk about those in our party who are missing this party, especially Victor and Treat. Just a few minutes ago, there was a promo for the Disney show Once Upon a Time where Cruella Daville, Ursula, and Maleficent were trying to convince a pretty blond to turn evil.

Their conversation brought to mind a long ago movie-inspired scene from my own life. More than ten years ago, on a lovely summer evening Riley, Eric, and Treat were all out on the front lawn playing with light sabers. Before the epic battle began, there was a pause and Eric said, "Wait! We can't all be Jedis. Someone's gotta be the enemy."

Without hesitation, Treat volunteered. "I'll go to the dark side!" he cried eagerly.

That's our Treatie-bird.

Dogsta Paradise

Sand, water, and snow?

What a good idea!

Deep Freeze

We're rushing around getting organized for our annual Oscar holiday weekend. This year, like last, we're renting a place on the Chesapeake Bay. The idea came to me a couple of years ago when after taking the Monday after the ceremony off, we woke to nearly 70 degrees at the end of February.

Such a day cried out for a road trip and so we put the dog in the car and headed east. That day, we rolled up our pants and splashed through amazingly temperate tidal pools as we walked the sandy shore of North Beach. We should do this every year! I thought, and a couple of Oscars later, we found a place in Scotland, MD to spend the weekend.

Last year, the weather wasn't too bad when we arrived on Saturday, and we spent the late afternoon beach combing for fossils and sea glass. It seemed impossible that they were predicting snow for the next night, and we joked about being stranded in such a place. Truth be told, we did have a bit of a harrowing ride home, but it all turned out fine-- just part of the adventure.

Tonight we're preparing for our long weekend away in record cold temperatures with some more wintery weather threatening tomorrow, but I can't get upset. There will be a warm house right on the beach with plenty of firewood when we get there, and I don't even have to find room in the freezer for the extra stuff I got at the grocery store this afternoon. It's all chillin' in the car, ready to beat the storm in the morning.

Compromise

The collaborative writing project I mentioned earlier is in full swing-- students are working in pairs to create a story written entirely in letters and other forms of correspondence. Even though they conducted extensive interviews, some kids found themselves with a partner who wasn't exactly on the same page in terms of plot, setting, and/or conflict.

For the most part, I have been very impressed with their ability to to meet in the middle. Out of 40 pairs, I've only had to switch two and counsel one extensively. This latter duo was fraught with friction until they hatched a story about two students who didn't want to work together but had to find a way to successfully complete their assignment. They say write what you know...

My favorite bargain by far, though, was the guy who wanted to write about a zombie apocalypse and his partner who had her heart set on a murderous ballerina; united by their love of the horror genre, they decided to populate their story with killer zomberinas.