Not That Tired

"Do you want to play another game of Spit?" my nephew Kyle asked. 

He's 25, but he's an only child, so he missed out on those endless summer days of playing cards with siblings. In our house, the fast-paced game of card stacking was always a favorite, but until this weekend? Kyle had never played. Still, he's usually up for a little competition, and I, if I do say so myself, am a good teacher, so soon we were happily slapping cards on piles. He picked the game up pretty quickly, but even so, he was facing over five decades of experience; I may be old, but I've still got the muscle memory to make a formidable opponent. 

We'd been playing for a while when he posed his question, though, and I declined the challenge, thinking ahead to all the things I still needed to accomplish on this Saturday.

"What? Are you tired of winning?" he taunted me with a raised eyebrow and a twinkle in his blue eyes.

I laughed. "It's on!" I answered. "I think I can beat you at least one more time!"

Why take on just one challenge when you can tackle two? This month, I'm using the Action for Happiness Mindful March calendar as a daily prompt for living and writing. 

Evening Constitutional

It was pouring rain when we arrived in Buffalo after nearly eight hours on the road, and we dashed through the drops to unload the car and get inside the warm house, where dinner was waiting. A couple of hours later, though, a full belly and a day sitting on my butt caught up with me, and I peered into the darkness to see if the rain had let up. 

It had not, but both the dog and I needed some fresh air and a good leg-stretching, so we geared up and headed out into the misty evening. There was a steady, but soft patter of rain on us as we walked the deserted sidewalks, sidestepping as many puddles as we could, but the air was mild, and the wind was still. 

Thirty minutes later, we closed our mile-and-a-half loop, a little damp but relaxed and clear-headed too.

Why take on just one challenge when you can tackle two? This month, I'm using the Action for Happiness Mindful March calendar as a daily prompt for living and writing. 

Offline

I never really thought about it, but maybe one reason I love roadtrips so much is the forced absence of screens. When you're at the wheel heading for the horizon, you can't be on your phone, too. Moreover? I don't miss it. 

And that was true today, as we headed north to Buffalo to celebrate my mother-in-law's 80th birthday. We saw cherry blossoms, daffodils, mountains, pastures, horses, log cabins, cemeteries, and trailer parks as we drove through sun and torrential rain. We talked, listened to an audiobook, and sang along with the radio, but we didn't swipe, tap, scroll, like, save, or delete a single thing. 

It was pretty wonderful.

Why take on just one challenge when you can tackle two? This month, I'm using the Action for Happiness Mindful March calendar as a daily prompt for living and writing. 

Red Light, Green Light

One of my favorite NY Times writers, Melissa Kirsch, has started a new weekly newsletter called The Good List. Subscribers receive an email every Wednesday with a curated collection of "ideas, rituals, and artifacts to add joy to your days." I was sold when I read about the idea a couple of weekends ago in Kirsch's regular Saturday essay, but after 2 weeks? I'm all in!

At the end of this week's installment, Kirsch added a recommendation from a reader: instead of griping about all the red lights you hit while driving, consider counting all the green lights you make. It might just shift your mood!

Why take on just one challenge when you can tackle two? This month, I'm using the Action for Happiness Mindful March calendar as a daily prompt for living and writing. 

A Hand for my Hands

My hands were busy today! 

They brewed coffee, packed lunch, made tart dough, and held gyan mudra for eleven minutes during meditation. They washed and dried my hair, drove me to bowling, and high-fived my teammates after throwing five strikes and picking up 11 spares. They switched my bowling bag for my work bag and took notes throughout a 90-minute meeting for test coordinators preparing for the upcoming SOLs. They snapped photos of the flock of cedar waxwings that was right.outside.the.window! Then they leashed up the dog and kept her close as we walked the neighborhood. And now they are limbering up to roll out that dough and top it with caramelized onions and greens to serve with tossed salad for dinner, just as soon as they finish typing this appreciation.

Why take on just one challenge when you can tackle two? This month, I'm using the Action for Happiness Mindful March calendar as a daily prompt for living and writing. 

FOMO

I was feeling frazzled as I settled into the tiny blue chair next to the bookshelf and carpet. I had been scheduled to observe this first-grade class at 8:30, but an accident at rush hour on I-295 had doubled my travel time, and I was late. I took a deep breath, adjusted my glasses, pulled out my pen and pad, and prepared to record what I was seeing. 

Six little scholars were sitting at the focus group table, blending sounds into words with their teacher as she played a phonemic awareness "game" with them. I was beginning to write when, over my shoulder, I heard whispering. I turned toward the murmur, and I saw another little girl following along with the lesson from her desk. She was supposed to be working on Lexia on her device, but she was acing the game instead—quietly answering every question correctly.

I laughed, and when I turned back to my observation, I realized that all the tensions of my troublesome travels were gone. I guess I just needed a little first-grade mojo.

Why take on just one challenge when you can tackle two? This month, I'm using the Action for Happiness Mindful March calendar as a daily prompt for living and writing. 

Keepin it Elastic

As a child, I was always a quick learner, and that quality has certainly shaped how I see myself, even today. No doubt it played a role in my becoming a teacher; quick learners often love school. And, as an educator, of course, I value lifelong learning. I used to love it when students knew things I didn't, and for many years, I challenged myself to learn random things that were of interest to them, for example, the names of the Backstreet Boys, performing The Cup Song, and how to say the Pledge of Allegiance in ASL. 

In my last few years of teaching, I had several kids who knew all the flags of the world, and that actually confounded me, maybe because there are so many. At the same time, my sister became an avid fan of the online game, Worldle, where you have to identify a country simply by its outline. Both of these tasks were really hard for me to learn, and I had to face the fact that my brain was not as elastic as it once was.

There are plenty of geography games on the internet, though, and recently I've been challenging myself to play both Travle, where you have to find the shortest route from one country to another by naming the nations in between (in order, please!), and GeoConnections, where you have to sort 16 facts into four categories matching a single country each (including the flag). 

It's still hard! But I am seeing progress. I know a lot more about the world than I used to, and I'm learning more all the time.

Why take on just one challenge when you can tackle two? This month, I'm using the Action for Happiness Mindful March calendar as a daily prompt for living and writing. 

Somehow I'm Neither Here nor There

The vacation home we rented last weekend in Pequea (pronounced peck-way) PA was situated right on the Susquehanna, with only a rutted dirt lane and the Port Road Branch of Norfolk Southern Railroad separating us from the river's edge. The house was well insulated from the rumble of the passing trains, which seemed to travel only at night. And although I can't say I slept through the noise, I can say it lulled me right back to sleep once I knew what it was.

There was a dreamlike quality to the weekend —muted sunsets and morning mist on the river, and then those trains that seemed to whisper by all night. We all felt it, I think, and we channeled the spellbinding setting into creating playlists of songs about trains.

I've been listening to mine ever since we got back.

Why take on just one challenge when you can tackle two? This month, I'm using the Action for Happiness Mindful March calendar as a daily prompt for living and writing. 

In Her Nature

"Do you love it here?" Heidi crooned to Lucy as we headed down the trail at the Elizabeth Hartwell Nature Preserve. A bald eagle flew right over heads.

Lucy wagged her tail, nose slammed to the ground, inhaling all the new smells.

"She's so happy!" Heidi said. "That makes me happy!"

"I know," I nodded. "That's why we're here."

Why take on just one challenge when you can tackle two? This month, I'm using the Action for Happiness Mindful March calendar as a daily prompt for living and writing. 

To All the Folks I've Known Before

I once calculated that I taught somewhere near 3,000 students over the course of my career as a sixth-grade English teacher. With the exception of my nephews, I don't see any of them regularly. I do think of kids I've known often, though. Sometimes I run into them, all grown up, or nearly so, in this small town we all live in. Sometimes, I'll see someone who reminds me of a former student, or hear a song someone sang, or think of a book we read together, or remember a story they wrote or an anecdote they shared. And at those times, I'm always grateful for the brief time we knew each other so very well.

The same is true of colleagues. It happens sometimes that you work very closely or in the same school for years, and then someone moves on, and you lose touch. I used to feel guilty for not being a better correspondent, but I realized that was a waste of energy. So now whenever those folks come to mind, I intentionally take a moment to recall something I valued about them, wish them well, and send some loving kindness their way.

Today? It was Roula, a fellow teacher who fiercely protected her students' right to learn, always spoke her mind, and shared a cool recipe for tahini sauce: squeeze a lemon, then fill the empty shell with water to get the right balance of acidity for your tahini and garlic. Wherever she is, I hope she is happy and well. I made the sauce to go with dinner tonight, and it was perfect.

Why take on just one challenge when you can tackle two? This month, I'm using the Action for Happiness Mindful March calendar as a daily prompt for living and writing. 

Who Does That on a Wednesday?

"I haven't seen you in forever!" A neighbor hailed me this afternoon when we were both out with our dogs. "How's retirement?'

"Well," I answered, trying not to look at my watch. "I took on a consulting job as a teacher coach."

She laughed. "I knew it! You're not the type to sit around, are you?"

I shrugged. "And did I tell you I joined a bowling league?"

She shook her head and laughed again.

"It's good, though," I told her. "Those two things keep me busy, but usually not too busy." 

What I didn't say was that I had just gotten home from two observations over in Maryland, and I needed to run to make a doctor's appointment before coming home to debrief with the teachers on Zoom. 

Maybe I'll do that no-plans thing on Saturday.

Why take on just one challenge when you can tackle two? This month, I'm using the Action for Happiness Mindful March calendar as a daily prompt for living and writing. 

Hyper Locavore

Way back in 2009, right around the time I started this blog, I read Animal, Vegetable, Miracle, Barbara Kingsolver's revelatory account of the year she and her family committed to eating only locally produced food, and, as much as possible, homegrown meat and vegetables. For months, I aspired to live a similar life, and I actually got a community garden plot the following year. I also shop at local farmers' markets and have participated in a CSA for a decade and a half.

But the thing from the book that's stuck with me was how many staple items are nearly impossible to source locally. Take something as simple as salt, for example (although I do know someone who knows someone who processes gourmet salt in a beach town on the Eastern shore). Now consider pepper, coffee,  chocolate, cinnamon, or even lemons.

The Kingsolver family made exceptions for such pantry items, and each member of the household was allowed to select one "luxury" item that did not fit the guidelines. That's reasonable, but I'm still stuck on producing everything myself, if only on a tiny scale. A few years ago, I decided that I wanted to grow every single ingredient for my summer tomato sauce in my garden. In addition to the obvious tomatoes and herbs, I also planted shallots and garlic. I was stumped by the olive oil, though.

Last summer, I saw a little olive tree for sale at Trader Joe's, and I thought that maybe in a few years? I'd have just enough olives to crush for one batch of that tomato sauce. I didn't realize that olive trees need time in the cold or that they won't fruit, and my plan to winter it over in the guest room was a bust. They can really only tolerate lows in the 20s, though, and that posed a bit of a problem until I rigged a heating mat and plant cozy up on the deck. 

I'm proud to say my olive is still alive and maybe even thriving, despite one of the coldest winters we've had in many years. That success has inspired me! The olive tree has some company now-- a cinnamon tree, a coffee bush, and a tiny little black pepper vine. Oh, and the lemon tree is on its way!

Why take on just one challenge when you can tackle two? This month, I'm using the Action for Happiness Mindful March calendar as a daily prompt for living and writing. 

Let the Pros Handle It

After reading Hamnet by Maggie O'Farrell, I just couldn't imagine how Chloe Zhao could adapt the profoundly moving novel into a movie, because the book is mainly composed of the characters' inner thoughts. Ironically, in a work featuring the man who is often considered to be the greatest English playwright, there is so very little dialogue. And even after watching Jessie Buckley sweep the awards season and reading all the praise of her performance? I'm so much of a word person that I still didn't get it.

Until this afternoon.

With all manner of severe weather warnings closing schools and businesses all around us, we decided to draw the curtains, forget about the wild 21st-century world outside, and watch Hamnet. Within minutes, the adaptation and all the awards made so much sense. Jessie Buckley honestly didn't need dialogue at all to communicate suspicion, desire, love, compassion, panic, anguish, catharsis, and reconnection. It was an incredible performance.

Why take on just one challenge when you can tackle two? This month, I'm using the Action for Happiness Mindful March calendar as a daily prompt for living and writing. 

Doing My Part

It is not unusual to find a collection of shells and other beachcombing treasures on the deck of many seaside homes. We have certainly added our finds to those collections at many of the vacation rentals we've stayed in over the years. This weekend, our retreat is a riverhouse, so we weren't really expecting shells, but neither were we expecting the collection of ironwork festooning the stairs up to the front door.

One stroll down the gravel path that runs along the Susquehanna and the adjoining railroad tracks was explanation enough. On the mile walk down to the local wildflower preserve, we found spikes, clips, clamps, nuts, washers, bolts, and even a few lumps of coal, all for the collecting. And while they didn't slip quite so easily into a pocket as shells or sea glass might, there was a certain appeal to their heft, and I confess to carrying a couple of forged iron souvenirs back to the house.

Where they joined the collection on the steps, of course.

Why take on just one challenge when you can tackle two? This month, I'm using the Action for Happiness Mindful March calendar as a daily prompt for living and writing. 

The Ordinary

There's something about being on vacation that elevates the mundane for me. Rather than lying around seeking refuge from my day-to-day, I love figuring out how to riff on my daily routine in a whole new place. 

So, you might often find me scouring the rental house kitchen, supplementing their tools with the ones I packed, and collaborating with my brother to rustle up something delicious from whatever we could find at the local market and grocery. You might also encounter me walking the dog along a wooded trail, up a mountain,  or on a beach near our temporary digs. 

And tonight? You could peek through wide picture windows just after sunset and see me seated at the long counter overlooking the mighty Susquehanna, my computer screen reflected in my reading glasses as I write this, surrounded by people I love and the warm glow of the river house behind me.

Why take on just one challenge when you can tackle two? This month, I'm using the Action for Happiness Mindful March calendar as a daily prompt for living and writing. 

First Night in Pequea

This is our annual weekend away for the Oscars, and this year we have rented a home in Pequea, PA, right on the banks of the Susquehanna. The sky was leaden, and there were wind advisories when we headed north a little after noon. But the closer we got to the Mason-Dixon Line, the brighter it became. By the time we arrived, it was a porcelain blue, and the late afternoon sun was cutting a blinding swath across the river. The sunset was muted; a pale yellow fading to gold and finally indigo as Venus brightened in the western sky.

Why take on just one challenge when you can tackle two? This month, I'm using the Action for Happiness Mindful March calendar as a daily prompt for living and writing. 

I Can Do Better

Are you listening, or are you just waiting to talk?

When asked this question, I indignantly answer the former. Of course, I'm not just waiting to talk! I don't even like talking that much.

Are you listening or are you thinking about what you're going to say next?

But when the question is reframed, I have to admit that mild social anxiety, and perhaps the fact that I don't really like to talk, make me lean to the latter. Sometimes? I am preoccupied thinking about what I should say to contribute to the conversation, and I miss part of it. Other times, I have to confess I'm thinking about what I can say to get out of the conversation.

That's not very nice.

Why take on just one challenge when you can tackle two? This month, I'm using the Action for Happiness Mindful March calendar as a daily prompt for living and writing. 

Nerding Out

In December of 2024, we splurged and treated ourselves to an Advent calendar from Onyx Coffee Lab, an amazing outfit based in Arkansas. For 24 days, we enjoyed delicious beans sourced from Mexico, Guatemala, Brazil, Colombia, El Salvador, Kenya, and Ethiopia, and roasted at their headquarters in Rogers, AR. I've always been kind of a coffee snob, but this experience was transformational. Along with 50 grams of coffee per day, we received tasting notes, brewing guides, and information on farming and processing. 

Onyx elevates coffee to an art, and I was hooked! At the time, my preferred brewing apparatus was a burr grinder and a Chemex pour-over, but I added a gooseneck kettle with temperature control, a scale with a timer, a couple of smaller pots, some fluted drippers, and organic paper filters to my equipment. I also order all of our coffee directly from a roaster, making my selection based on origin, processing (light-expressive, please!), and tasting notes. (pineapple brulee, cocoa nib, or marmalade, anyone?)

It's an expensive hobby! But I am intentional in my brewing, preparing just one serving at a time. (What can I say? I'm retired!) By now, I have the routine down to a science, and even so, I think not relying on a whole pot to replenish my cup makes me slow down. I am never disappointed with that first sip, or any of the later ones, either.

Why take on just one challenge when you can tackle two? This month, I'm using the Action for Happiness Mindful March calendar as a daily prompt for living and writing. 

How Did They Know?

Today was surely the day to get outside! Temperatures in the 70s and sunshine and blue skies as far as you could see made it a perfect spring day. It's so early in the season that the trees are still bare, and so feeling the pleasant warmth of the sun on your face is inescapable, but there's still an underlying coolness to the air that balances that heat perfectly. Hat and sunglasses were nice, but not necessary as the dog and I made our way through the mild morning.

Why take on just one challenge when you can tackle two? This month, I'm using the Action for Happiness Mindful March calendar as a daily prompt for living and writing. 

Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah

Before I took on the teacher-coaching position I have now, it had been a while since I had run any kind of virtual meeting. Of course, I built that skill set during SY 2020-21, when we started the year teaching from home and ended it with a hybrid model, with some of the kids in the classroom while others opted to continue learning remotely.

Back then, I was pretty adept at all the bells and whistles of the platform-- taking attendance, sharing my screen, using the chat, creating breakout rooms, and muting participants if necessary. Not surprisingly, there have been changes and upgrades in the past five years, and now, like so many things, AI has changed the way online meetings work, too.

A couple of things AI can offer are a transcript and a summary of any call, complete with to-do lists for all participants. These features come with a disclaimer (for now) that AI can make mistakes, and an advisement to check for errors. In my experience, the errors have been few, though, and the summaries are actually pretty helpful. 

The transcripts, on the other hand? Are painful to read, especially when I focus on my part. I notice a lot of filler words, unnecessary repetition, and clear instances of me thinking out loud and trailing off senselessly. To my own eyes and ears, I sound like a dork.

It must be more than coincidence, I think, that lately my social media feed has been full of ads for programs that can make one sound more like an executive, confident and clear, as a speaker. It seems like AI and its minion algorithms agree with me on my professional conversational skills. 

But rather than pay for an app or a course to improve, I decided to consult, what else? AI, which kindly gave me a list of seven helpful phrases, five habits that make you sound more authoritative, a three-point simple structure for clear speaking, and four helpful reminders. The first reminder is to pause before responding.

I have a couple of calls this afternoon, and I think I'll do just that.

Why take on just one challenge when you can tackle two? This month, I'm using the Action for Happiness Mindful March calendar as a daily prompt for living and writing.