"I feel like I'm living two separate lives," my cousin laughed this afternoon as she held her two-year-old on her lap. "In one, I'm a successful executive and people actually listen to me and do what I say," she paused and looked at her daughter, "and in the other, children ignore and throw up on me."
As we nodded in amusement, she gasped. "She's peeing on me!" Then she stood up quickly and deposited her child on the floor, standing.
Sure enough, a puddle formed at the little girl's feet, but the toddler did not seem bothered. In fact, she widened her stance and doubled down on the peeing, side-eying her mother with a devilish little grin.
Stunned at the perfect timing, we all stood in silence for a moment before scrambling for the clean-up kit.
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