Tuesday, December 31, 2024

Pre-recorded from New York It's

We had just finished an episode of something or other when a promo for Saturday Night Live popped up. "Oh! This is the Christmas show for this year," I told Heidi. "Martin Short is the host, and he gets his Five Time Jacket, so they have a bunch of extra people." I paused. "Wanna watch it?"

There was a time when I rarely missed Saturday Night Live. Starting in 1979, when I returned to the States for college, the show was must-see TV for a long time. Back then, there was no recording it for watching later, but it didn't matter because who wasn't up til at least 1 on the weekend?

But now, it's been many years since I've watched an entire episode of SNL and many more since I stayed up to see it live from New York. These days, I mostly skim the recap in the NYTimes and watch any segment that captures my attention on YouTube. Even though Lorne Michaels is still the driving force behind the show after fifty years on the air, I often sense that the target audience is considerably younger than I am, mostly because I find the humor raunchy or dumb. (Okay, I'll also cop to not getting some of the jokes, but not too many, because, see my post a few days ago about how plugged in I am to pop culture, despite my advanced age! Teaching so long has to have a few benefits.)

But last night, the clock was only at 9:30, so I hit play on the December 21, 2024, episode of Saturday Night Live. And we laughed the next hour and a half away. Tom Hanks, Paul Rudd, Melissa McCarthy, Kristin Wiig, Jimmy Fallon, Scarlett Johansen, Alec Baldwin, and Dana Carvey appeared. The regular cast was hilarious, too, and we recognized a couple of those crazy kids from Shrinking and Wicked. As often happens when a former cast member hosts, the show was full of self-referential bits, and they were old enough that we felt in on the joke. Martin Short is still as ridiculous as ever, and? 

There was spitting.

We enjoyed the show so much that I remembered that old sad feeling I used to get when the musical guest performed their second number. It meant that there was only one sketch left, and it probably wasn't funny, and then we would have to wait a whole week, or two, or all summer until Saturday Night was live again.

Monday, December 30, 2024

In Memory

"I just finished The Women by Kristin Hannah," my friend Amy mentioned at dinner a few weeks ago when she was visiting from Arizona. "It was amazing."

It just so happened that I was looking for an audiobook for our road trip to Mountain Lake that weekend, and the premise of the novel, the story of a young woman who enlists as an Army nurse in Vietnam and her experiences there and upon her return to the States, seemed like something Heidi and I would like. The fact that it was narrated by Jill Whelan was a plus-- I have enjoyed her work on several other recordings.

We were rolling through the Piedmont of Virginia as the novel started in 1967, Coronado Beach, CA, and we followed the saga of Frankie McGrath all the way to the southern Blue Ridge Mountains and home again, with more than half of the book to go. "This is brutal," I said after her first week in Vietnam. "She's gotta get a win soon." And she did, becoming an extremely competent OR nurse at an evac hospital, despite or maybe because of the brutal conditions she was thrown into. Over her time in the country, she made lifelong friends and lost some, too, and we were as relieved as she was when she headed back to California.

We continued listening a couple weeks later all the way to Buffalo as Frankie faced a rocky adjustment to life at home, her ups and downs propelling the trip forward. And we heard the end of the book a little more than an hour into our trip home, shaking our heads to emerge from the late 70s into present-day Pennsylvania. 

And, although I found the book flawed in many ways, heavy-handed, overwrought, and predictable in places, I was profoundly moved by the real-life experiences written there, particularly the invisibility and subsequent struggle of the over a quarter million women who served in Vietnam. So today, when we loaded Lucy in the car and headed downtown for a walk on the National Mall, we hadn't gone far when I suggested we visit the Vietnam Memorial, a place I usually pass by without a second glance as I round the reflecting pool.

We paused more than a moment at the Vietnam Women's Memorial, erected in 1993, more than 20 years after the war ended. Three women are shown in it, one holding a bandaged soldier, another shading her eyes looking skyward, and a third on her knees in perhaps grief, but more likely, exhaustion. Eight trees are planted around its cobblestone circle, one for each woman killed there. 

I don't think I'll ignore it again.

Sunday, December 29, 2024

Weather Machine

Despite the news article I read yesterday predicting substantial snow for the mid-Atlantic region in early January, our late December weather has turned unseasonably mild today. We've had the sliding glass door open since noon, a light breeze wafting its way past the Christmas tree and freshening the house. 

Outside, the temperate weather reminded me of winter holidays spent nearly 50 years ago in the Eastern Province of Saudi Arabia. There was something about the slant of the sun and the soft air on my bare arms that took me back to those December days spent on the salt flats along the shore of the Arabian Gulf. Our family collected driftwood for a beach fire and steamed the little neck clams we pulled from the sandy bottom of the shallow sea. We had the beach to ourselves, and my dad taught us how to drive in our '75 Plymouth Fury sedan.

Is it possible that this weather is that weather? I asked myself and consulted the weather app on my phone. In Al Khobar, Saudi Arabia, the temperature will be in the mid-60s tomorrow, just as it is here today. 

I doubt they'll get that January snow, though.

Saturday, December 28, 2024

Holiday Twist

"How did the movie end?" Heidi asked me this morning. Last night, she simply couldn't keep her eyes open to see how our umpteenth Hallmark movie of the season turned out.

"Well," I reported, "there were some surprises."

She raised her eyebrows. "Do tell."

"It turned out her best friend was actually dead," I started.

"The one she texted?"

"Yes, and left voice messages for, and who sent her the Christmas Bingo game. The friend died earlier in the year, and she still wasn't over it."

Heidi nodded thoughtfully.

"They also didn't save the bookstore." I shook my head. "They sold it, and he took the money and left. So, they didn't end up together at Christmas."

"What?!" Heidi interjected.

"Right! She went back to her job in New York, and her boss congratulated her on taking time for self-care, and also for pushing the company to take a risk on an unknown writer, although the expectation was for her to return to the high profile books. But then he came to NY, and brought mistletoe, even though it was March, and told her that he could write anywhere, and then they kissed, and that was the last item on the Bingo card."

"So she didn't give up her stressful career to move to an idyllic small town to run a family business?" Heidi clarified.

"Just the opposite," I confirmed. "But? They still lived happily ever after. Of course."

Friday, December 27, 2024

Heaven Furbid

I couldn't resist the book called Crafting with Cat Hair when I was shopping for stocking stuffers. I thought my sister-in-law, the artist, would appreciate it, being both an artisan and a cat owner, and she did, although I don't think she'll be rushing to create the cute felted finger puppet on the cover. 

Even so, the family was indulgent last night as I spun my fantasy of not only collecting and crafting from our own pets' coats but also getting so proficient at processing animal hair that we would charge others for the service. 

"People could ship us their beloved pet's fur," I said, "and we could card it, spin it into yarn, or felt it and send it back to them ready to use. I'm sure there's a market for that!"

"You want to get boxes of dog and cat hair in the mail?" my brother scoffed. "You would definitely have a flea problem."

"Oh, no!" I answered. "We could just keep it in the shed."

Ba dump bump.

Thursday, December 26, 2024

Render Unto Caesar

"Just toss those out," my mother-in-law gestured to the leftover pieces of garlic bread she had served with her Christmas Eve lasagna.

"Let's save them," I suggested. "I can make croutons tomorrow."

I spotted the bag of bread the next afternoon as I was prepping the rib roast and peeling the potatoes. I knew I wanted a salad for dinner, too, and the hit of garlic I got when I undid the twist tie practically shouted, "Caesar!" which is usually a crowd pleaser.

Once the croutons were toasting away, I turned my attention to the dressing. I've made many a classic Caesar over the years, but I knew raw egg would not be well received by my diners, and there was no anchovy to be had, either paste or filet. I had garlic, though, and so I pounded it with some sea salt to a creamy paste. Next, I added a little Worcestershire sauce (it does have anchovies!), Dijon mustard, and a bit of mayonnaise to contribute a little egginess to the emulsion. I whisked in olive oil, finished it with white wine vinegar, and voila! 

"Delicious salad!" my mother-in-law proclaimed when we seated at dinner. "It must be the croutons."

Wednesday, December 25, 2024

So to Speak

I gave myself a huge pat on the back when I got 10 out of 10 on the NY Times quiz "Do You Know 2024 Speak?" Even so, I'm afraid I may have peaked in performance because a lot of the credit should go to all the middle school kids I spent time with in the first half of the year. They schooled me on Bet, Skibidi Toilet, Stanley Cups, Ohio, and the new meaning of preppy. 

I also have to give credit to Harrison Ford and the show Shrinking for bringing raw dogging to my attention and to the mainstream, liberal media for flagging trad wife. I take credit for "very mindful, very demure," though; I found that meme myself.

And the rest? Was just solid test-taking skills.


Tuesday, December 24, 2024

Well, Wasn't That Fun?

After dinner, a few arms were twisted last night, resulting in one, and only one, round of the Christmas carol trivia game I packed. Aside from the single-round condition, the other concessions were that we played in teams, and we had to listen to the carol in question after each answer. "And you and Heidi have to be on separate teams," was Louise's final demand.

Done, done, done, we started the game. Mark and Heidi got off to a fast start, answering multiple-choice and fill-in-the-blank questions about Jingle Bells, Silent Night, and Little Drummer Boy (despite my partner trying to sing other songs to distract them). When it was our turn, we answered one easy question about The Twelve Days of Christmas and another about Away in a Manger but stumbled on a multiple choice question about The Most Wonderful Day of the Year: "What island is mentioned in the song?" Mark read from the card. "Is it A) Santa Island, B) Christmas Island, or C) The Island of Misfit Toys?"

"It's not the Island of Misfit Toys!" I scoffed, but neither of us could recall Andy Williams singing about any island at all in the song. Finally we guessed Santa Island, and we were shocked when Mark read the answer: The Island of Misfit Toys! 

"How can that be?" Louise asked in dismay. "Aren't song titles copywrited?"

"Titles aren't," I sighed, "But--"

"Let's play the song," said Heidi, and it was then we discovered that there are indeed two songs of similar but not identical titles, It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year by Andy Williams and The Most Wonderful Day of the Year written by Johnny Marks for the Rankin/Bass classic, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.

"This is why I hate games," Louise said as we handed over the dice to Heidi and Mark.

"We can still rally!" I encouraged her, and thank goodness we did, winning the game in a squeaker entirely owing to the exact count rule at the end. 

"Anyone up for another round?" I asked optimistically. "Maybe we can try some of the sing the next line questions?" But they were already packing up the game.

Monday, December 23, 2024

Dark in the Lightness

Right after dark this evening, Heidi and I took our annual drive around her childhood neighborhood to see all the holiday lights. In general, the folks up here in Buffalo take their landscaping and lawns seriously, and holiday lights fit right in with that ethos. 

We played Christmas music on the radio as we rolled along the winding suburban streets, and a thin layer of snow blanketed all the yards. Like every year, we were treated to a variety of decorating styles. There were a few demure houses with candles in the windows and white lights on the lawn, but they were vastly outnumbered by inflatables. One home had the whole cast from Rudolph the Rednosed Reindeer humming away in front. Many places ran colored lights along their rooflines, a classic look I appreciated. Some people still had the vintage light-up lawn ornaments that I remember from my childhood: Santa, snowmen, and the holy family glowed incandescently. A few places only used blue and red lights in honor of the hometown Buffalo Bills and the amazing season they are having.

"What's that one?"I asked Heidi, pointing at an illuminated banner. 

"It's Trump Save America," she reported with a sigh. 

"That's not very Christmasy," I said and turned up the radio a bit. Just then, the song changed to Sleighbells by the Ray Connif Singers, and we turned onto Heidi's street, where every single house was lit up. "There," I nodded, "that's much better."

Sunday, December 22, 2024

First Time's a Charm

It seemed like half of Buffalo was out and about with us today as we ran the (fingers crossed) last of our holiday errands. Everyone was in pretty good humor, though, especially with both a football game and Christmas so near at hand. 

Since we were at Wegmans, we decided to grab a quick lunch, and as I sat down with my tomato bread and Topo Chico, I found that the top on my soda was not twist-off. I returned to the self-checkout and approached the young woman leaning against the workstation, ready to help."Do you have a bottle opener?" I asked, waving my drink.

She nodded, turned toward a mesh pencil holder on the counter, and fished through it. In a moment, she triumphantly produced a small opener.

"I guess I didn't think it through," I laughed and handed her my bottle.

Her eyes grew wide. "I've never used one of these before!" she confessed.

"Oh!" I replied, charmed by her honesty. "It's easy! You can definitely do it."

"Just don't make fun of me," she said, only half joking. 

"I'm actually kind of excited to be present for the big occasion!" I added.

Then she took a breath and hesitantly placed the fulcrum of the opener below the pleated lip of the cap. Then she flipped her wrist and leveraged that sucker right off.

"I knew you could do it!" I cheered as she handed me the bottle. "Thank you."

She smiled.

"Did you get it open?" Heidi asked when I returned to the table.

"Yep!" I answered. "And? Not only did I get my drink, but I also got a topic for my blog."

Saturday, December 21, 2024

The Bar and the Church

As part of my genealogy research account, I also have access to an online newspaper archive, and I confess to getting lost there at times. For example, a couple years ago, I spent an hour or two looking at Christmas cookie recipes in the Philadelphia Inquirer from the late 60s and early 70s, knowing that my mom had once read these same articles. 

Recently, I found myself immersed again in the archives of the Inquirer. This time it was a more specific search centered around the location of Jack's Bar, the place my dad often went to after work. Some evenings, my mom would pile us into the car, and we would drive into the city to pick him up there. Parking was at a premium, so she usually sent either my brother or me past the wrought iron grate and down the stairs into the place to fetch my dad. 

I learned that the establishment was on the lower level of a historic building just a block from Independence Hall. Built sometime in the mid-19th century, it housed a stationary store and paper warehouse and later The Philadelphia Call, a biweekly newspaper published for a couple decades starting in the 1890s. It was also the site of a furniture and home goods store before falling into a bit of decline with the rest of the neighborhood. The 1960s brought an urban renewal project to Independence Hall and its surrounds, though, and that particular building was demolished a of decades or so later.













Tangentally? I turned up this photo, which was also from the Inquirer, published on November 10, 1969, in the New Jersey section. An interesting juxtaposition! I will note, though, that the church is still there today.

Friday, December 20, 2024

Christmas Time Is Here

Paradoxically, now that Winter Break has actually started, the anxiety level around here seems to have ratcheted up instead of down. In this house, we're getting organized and packed to drive to Buffalo tomorrow, and even though there are just a few more packages to wrap and the shopping, baking, decorating, and cleaning are done, the vibe has shifted from festive to fraught. 

It's as if, now that school is out, the holiday just got real for all the educators out there whose attention was focused on trying to hold everything together one last week. In a twist on the winter solstice, the longest week of the year is followed by what seems to be the shortest of holiday lead times.

My theory was only confirmed when Treat texted me from his school this afternoon. I made it to winter break! he wrote. There was a pause, and then he added, I can't believe Christmas is only 5 days away.


Thursday, December 19, 2024

Old Faithful

Since Allyn was in town less than 24 hours, I thought it might be nice to take her to lunch today before dropping her off at Dulles for her flight to Amsterdam. She follows a gluten-free diet, but that isn't really a big deal around here. Even so, I invited her to Carlyle, a neighborhood staple with excellent gluten-free options.

At 12:30 on a Thursday, the place was full, and the hostess told us it would be a 15 to 25-minute wait. I deferred to my guest, and she opted to stay, so we took a seat on the banquette by the plate glass windows beneath the stairs and waited in companionable silence. Unlike many of my fellow patrons, I did not take out my phone as I sat. Instead, I people-watched, observed the busy restaurant at work, and considered how lucky it is to have such a dependable place within walking distance of home. 

Carlyle has been open for nearly 40 years, but I remember when it was new and called Carlyle Grand. The tasteful Art Deco decor has held up well; vintage-inspired then, it is classic now. The menu seems to have changed very little over the years, too, but I know that's not true. A rather tepid 1987 review by Phyllis Richmond praises the polenta, pan-fried veal dumplings, and noodle cake appetizers, which are dishes that vanished decades ago.

At any rate, I can honestly say I've never had a bad meal at Carlyle. Over the years, it's been a reliable go-to for brunch (donut holes and smoked trout with eggs!) and dinner. I've taken countless out-of-town guests there and celebrated many last days of school with a lobster roll for lunch. Their fries are nearly always perfect, and they have one of the best burgers in town.

Today, it was worth the wait. We were seated upstairs within 20 minutes, surrounded by six tops of what seemed to be office holiday revelers. The vibe was festive, and the service was friendly and efficient. Allyn loved her burger, and my grilled chicken sandwich was tender and juicy, served on crispy grilled bread with a tangy smear of mustard.

And the fries were perfect.

Wednesday, December 18, 2024

Fun and Not Fun

In advance of an overnight visit from Allyn, our 24-year-old goddaughter, I ordered a new game. Even though she spent lots of time here as a kid, it's been years since Allyn's last visit-- especially since she moved out to Oregon a few years ago-- now most of her East Coast time is spoken for by her parents and grandparents.

But she is in transit tonight. Her parents will meet her at the airport tomorrow, and the three of them will fly to Germany to spend Christmas with her younger sister, who is doing her junior year of college abroad. When the girls stayed with us when they were little, we always played games after dinner, and yesterday, when I saw an ad for Cat in a Box, I thought it might be a good fit to carry on the tradition. 

First of all, the title refers to Schrodinger's theoretical cat-- the one he hypothesized could be both dead and alive at the same time in his famous thought experiment concerning quantum physics. Allyn's dad is a high school science teacher, and they actually have a miniature schnauzer named Schrodinger (or Odie, as he is fondly known). I knew Allyn had suggested his name, too.

Secondly, it is a bidding and tricks game, and Heidi and I were recently at a teacher happy hour where folks were playing spades. Watching the game made us remember how much we like cards, and we agreed to look for more opportunities to play.

Cat in a Box ended up being a complicated version of Spades. The cards had numbers, but no suits;  each player has to declare the suit of their card when they play it. There are guidelines and trackers, because while any card can be both a red six and a green six when it's in your hand, once played, there can only be one red six per game. There is also bidding, and of course paradoxes arise, which is only fitting for a game inspired by Schrodinger.

As it turned out, Allyn had never played a plain bidding game, so these clever twists were lost on her. But, after watching an instructional video, we were able to play through the three hands required for a complete game. After the firs round, I checked in with Allyn. "How's it going?" I asked. "Do you get it?"

"Well," she answered drily, "I understand it better than quantum physics."

Tuesday, December 17, 2024

What Happened?

Spread over a half mile of our route to school this morning were vast swaths of wet and flattened cardboard boxes in the middle of streets.  It was difficult to imagine such an event happening without the perpetrator being aware, and yet there was no evidence of where they had come from. Nor was there any effort to clean them up, so some cars swerved around them while other vehicles ran right over, grinding them to slick piles of pulp.

Rush hour loomed, backups were forming around some of the larger mounds, drivers were getting testy, and it was hard to see how everything would work out. 

But I guess it did, because everything was clear, not even a trace of cardboard, by 3 when I picked Heidi up.

Monday, December 16, 2024

A First Noel

It was a little later than usual when I took Lucy for a walk this evening, but I was happy to get a chance to look at even more holiday lights as we strolled in the December dark. And there were many to see, twinkling and blinking outside and shining warmly through the windows as we passed. Near the end of our loop, I spotted a plain, fluffy white wreath on someone's door and thought how much better it might look bedecked with colored lights. 

Before I could scold myself for being so judgy, a memory gently nudged my brain, and I was transported back to Christmas 1975. Our family had arrived in Saudi Arabia less than 2 months before, and our household shipment had not yet been delivered. We didn't mind too much because, until a week before Christmas, we didn't even have a house. We lived first in an adjoining pair of hotel rooms and then in the house of a family my mother had befriended and who were spending the holiday in their native Australia.

But a couple of days before Christmas, a house opened up for us, and we moved to our own place. It was furnished by my dad's company, but we had nothing except our suitcases and the items we had accrued since we got there in late October. We were able to rescue our dog from the kennel where she had been staying, though, and we rejoiced that our entire family was reunited at last. 

My mother was perhaps one of the most resourceful people I have ever known, and in the absence of any decorations and none available to buy in that Muslim kingdom, she bent together several coat hangers and, using tissues and twist ties, created a huge white wreath that she hung in the front picture window. Where she acquired the string of colored lights, I don't know, but as it shone in the darkness, that wreath was one of the most beautiful things I'd ever seen.

Our gifts were placed beneath it, and when the sun rose over the desert on the other side of the wall around our house, we opened them. The day was balmy and not at all the Christmas weather we had come to expect growing up in the northeastern US, but my mom pointed out that it was probably pretty similar to the weather on the first Christmas, which was satisfying enough. We had all that we needed, and it was a very merry Christmas indeed.

Sunday, December 15, 2024

Only So Many

Even as we decorate our home for Christmas, I've found my plan to downsize is still in action. Today I crawled to the back corner of the attic and slid out a bin that hasn't been opened for a couple of years. Why not now? asked the retired me, even as I remembered how overwhelming the holidays are for someone who works full-time. In it, I found several cookie tins and a teacher's career's worth of Christmas coffee mugs of all sizes. And I smiled in gratitude for the thoughtful gesture that each one represented as I moved it to the giveaway box.

Saturday, December 14, 2024

Getting the Dander Up

I generally don't mind cleaning house, and it was my idea to cut our housekeeper's visits to once a month when I retired. Even so, in the early weeks of my new responsibility, I found vacuuming particularly onerous. Just the thought of hauling the expensive upright we purchased a decade ago up and down the stairs made it difficult to get motivated for any chore. 

Our house might have quickly declined into slovenliness if it had not occurred to me to do a little research on those new, lightweight stick vacuums. And lucky me! I found one with excellent reviews on sale for only 75 bucks. 

I was still a little skeptical when it arrived, and it languished in its box for a few days while I let other things take priority over our floors. But with two long-haired cats and a dog who tracks in all manner of soil, not to mention that I am less than conscientious about crumbs when cooking, the place needed to be vacuumed. How delighted was I when the new gadget was super-efficient, lightweight, and easy to use? Not only did I no longer dread vacuuming, but I looked for vacuuming opportunities almost every day.

The only drawback was that the battery life was just this side of 45 minutes, and it took several hours to recharge. The other day, though, when that amazing machine cleaned up all the needles our tree had dropped as I put the lights on, it occurred to me that we could get a second battery. 

And so I did. (Fair warning to you, dust and dirt: my cleaning capacity has doubled!)

Friday, December 13, 2024

Dear Prospective Juror

I recognized the envelope right away.

But today, when I received my summons to jury duty, gone was that knee-jerk anxiety, the worry that I would be seated or not, and either way, I would have to make sub plans on the fly for days or even weeks,  modifying and amending my lessons so that they might work whether I was there or not, because I wouldn't know until 5 PM the night before if I would be available to teach.

My only concern, today? We don't have a 2025 calendar hanging in the kitchen yet, so I can circle January 28, and write Jury Duty.

Thursday, December 12, 2024

Let There Be Lights!

The year 2020 had a lot of things going against it, but pandemic aside? It was a big year for Christmas lights. In this area, at least, tons of people stuck at home but with the privilege to spend their time and money on such things went all out on their holiday decorations. It was one of the joys of the year to walk outside with friends and ooh and aah over the lights.

The ensuing years cannot compare, and I confess that, although I understand, I am disappointed, even in myself. 

When we were down in Myrtle Beach for Thanksgiving, I felt like that vibe could be changing: so many houses had so many lights. I wondered if it was a function of the percentage of retirees residing in that neighborhood (God knows we have time on our hands and the willingness to use it), but back at home, I noticed a similar trend.

"It's like everyone said, 'Let's get those Christmas lights out of the attic!" this year," I said to Heidi the other evening as we walked Lucy in the gathering dusk. Then I shrugged. "But it does seem like a good idea."

And I am in! I did our lower deck tonight, and I've got plans for the upstairs and front porch, too. As the longest night of the year approaches, any light in the darkness makes my heart sing a little.

Wednesday, December 11, 2024

Out in the Storm

The weather was predicted to worsen as the day wore on, so at noon, I laced up my boots, put on my raincoat, and took Lucy out for a walk. The wind was manageable, and the temperatures had not yet fallen to their predicted chill, so we ambled a relatively pleasant two miles before turning back toward home. 

No one else was out, so it seemed as if we had the world to ourselves, winding in and out and behind the bike paths, buildings, and courtyards of our neighborhood. Lucy was all in; a little rain never dampened her sense of smell or exploration. As we neared home, I collected a few evergreen branches and holly sprigs for a Christmas arrangement just before the wind picked up. 

It was a lovely walk. 

A few hours later, when I went to fetch Heidi from school in a now torrential downpour, the radio was tuned to a holiday station. Michael Buble sang, "Oh, the weather outside is frightful!" 

And I had to agree, but when he continued the song, I made a little lyrical substitution for myself, "but since it's no use to complain, let it rain, let it rain, let it rain!"

Tuesday, December 10, 2024

Check that Out

This afternoon, I had to reach higher than usual to put my groceries on the cashier's belt. For a moment, I wondered if I was shrinking, but when I got to the register and met the tall young man working there, I understood. Even so, I couldn't help myself. "This belt is so high!" I told him. 

He laughed and showed me the switch that could raise and lower it.

"That's crazy!" I said. "I've never noticed that they are adjustable!"

"It's good for me," he laughed again, and we continued to chat amiably as he scanned my groceries. 

As we talked, I noticed he was wearing a button that read, I'm new around here, so I asked him how long he'd been on the job.

He told me a complicated story about his first two weeks and then his second two weeks, and then he shook his head and laughed again. "Let's say about a month," he answered, then held up my rutabaga. "What's this?" 

"Rutabaga or yellow turnip," I told him and watched as he quickly typed in some letters on his screen. Rutabaga flashed by momentarily, but then he swiped to a different screen. "Oh! I saw it back there!" I told him. "The code was 4747."

"You saw it?" he asked with surprise but typed in the numbers. Rutabaga flashed across the display, and he tapped enter.

"Maybe you should work here, too!" he said.

"Maybe," I agreed, "but we'd definitely have to lower the belt!"

Monday, December 9, 2024

Have Yourself a Sloppy Little Christmas

I'd gotten a bit behind on my Hallmark Christmas movie viewing this year until we spent a weekend at a mountain resort with its own Christmas Village. Then, tuning into a Christmas movie before bed seemed just right. 

Over the weekend, we saw most or part of several of this year's new offerings, and I noticed a trend. Almost every story we watched featured a middle-aged woman who wanted Christmas to be perfect. Whether she was the main character, the main character's mom, or the boyfriend's mom, by the end of the movie, she always learned that imperfection makes each Christmas special. As long as the family has each other, whether in person or in spirit, the holiday is a success.

An ad for Hallmark that ran several times during every movie reinforced this common theme. The message of the commercial was that Hallmark may inspire us at the holidays, but the rest is up to us, so relax and enjoy your holiday.

I have to wonder-- has there been a backlash? Has Hallmark been getting some shade about presenting Christmas scenarios that are too perfect and somehow deflating their core viewership? Such a scenario seems kind of likely, and count on that network to know it, too. 

Even so? It's a lesson worth remembering.

Sunday, December 8, 2024

Dry Spell

I saw Dirty Dancing when it came out in 1987. It was at the end of the summer after my dad died. My brother had moved to D.C., my girlfriend had moved to Milwaukee, my sister was in college, and I was working as a cook at a local cafe and catering company. My day off was the middle of the week, and rather than spend my time alone in the blinding sun on the crowded beach, I sought refuge in a dark theater at the mall. 

It must have been what was playing at the time I got there, and I remember being pleasantly charmed by the movie. So much so that I saw it again with a group of friends a week or so later. Of course, the film has gained and maintained iconic status in the nearly 40 years since, but I don't think I ever saw it again.

Until today. 

Since we are staying at one of the main filming locations, watching Dirty Dancing seemed like a perfect afternoon activity, especially after walking the property and hiking around the lake basin. And seeing it was nuts! That movie was unquestionably filmed right here, within sight of where we were sitting. Baby's cabin, the stone lodge, the gazebo by the lake, are all exactly the same. But the lake?

Well... Marvelous and Mysterious Mountain Lake has had some ups and downs (literally) since 1986 when the movie was shot. The lake is a legend for its fluctuating levels, and during the production, the water covered 55 acres, and the hotel property was waterfront. In the decades since, though, despite engineering and attempted restoration, the lake has receded to only a few acres at the far end of the basin, nearly out of view of the resort. 

Throughout the movie, that was almost all I could focus on. Anytime they showed the water, I gasped. I didn't realize what was missing until I saw it.

It just so happened that as we were watching the movie, a dear friend texted us that her elder dog was having a health crisis. We paused the film a few times to read the updates and send messages as supportive as we could.

Research has assured me that this dry spell for the lake is not evidence that anything is wrong with, but rather that it is working just as it always has. Mountain Lake's geology and topology are unique not just to this area but to the world. The last time it was at full capacity was 2005, and although nothing is for sure, that could, and probably will, change in the future.

I confess that I am finding it a little difficult to appreciate how cool these fluctuations are, especially when I see the lake at its lowest. Could it be allegorical? If so, I wonder what the lesson is and whether I can pass the test at the end.

Saturday, December 7, 2024

The Last Leg

"Bill would HATE this," I commented as we drove up the winding mountain road; the higher we got, the steeper the drop-off. 

But the views! I would have loved them if I wasn't behind the wheel piloting us on the final 7 miles of our road trip to Mountain Lake Lodge. At 5:30, the December sun was long gone behind the mountains to the west, but the sky was magnificent. 

"Is that snow?" Heidi asked.

"Yup. Are those deer?" I asked in return.

And then, there it was: So many holiday lights! The lodge, the trees, the Christmas Village all lit up on the top of the mountain. Was it, dare I say? Dazzling?

Indeed it was.

Friday, December 6, 2024

Good for Something

In my many years of teaching English, I gave my fair share of standardized tests, both real and practice. Inevitably, there were student complaints, most along the lines of, "Why are the readings soooooo boring?" In real testing situations, I was prohibited by law from looking at these onerous passages, but the same was not true for the practice exams. Even so, I rarely read those tests carefully; usually, I was too busy grading and planning some activities that would actually teach the students to read and write rather than artificially gauge their abilities. But one day, the sighs and whimpers were too much. 

"What. is. wrong?" I asked.

"This test is soooooo boring!" a student whined, and many others agreed.

"What are you talking about?" I said and walked over to look at the passage. "Mysterious and Marvelous Mountain Lake" was the title. I quickly scanned the seven paragraphs and was not bored at all. Instead, I read a super interesting little article about one of the two natural lakes found in Virginia. For many years, its pattern of draining and filling baffled science until they discovered a huge drain hole in the bottom of the lake. It has also been a tourist destination for centuries: the first hotel was built in 1850.

"You guys!" I proclaimed. "This is NOT boring! Who knew there was such a marvelous and mysterious lake right here in Virginia!"

The class rolled their eyes at me.

"I mean it!" I doubled down. "It has a hole in it! It is beautiful! There is a historic hotel there! I am totally going on vacation to Mountain Lake one day!"

And that day? Is tomorrow! 

Last year, Heidi gave me a gift certificate to Mountain Lake Lodge for my birthday, and a few months ago, I booked a cabin there, just in time for their Christmas festivities. In addition to that lake, the Christmas Village and Marketplace, the miles of hiking trails, and other resort activities, the property was the filming location for Dirty Dancing. It's going to be uh-mazing!

I guess the SOL is good for something, after all.

Thursday, December 5, 2024

Oh Hey, Heather

Reserve yours today! read the email. There is a Christmas Tree shortage this year. 

Heidi and I had been working to find the right time for this fun holiday chore, and this message galvanized me. Never mind the cold front sweeping through our region— wind chill be damned! We had to get our tree today! 

So I picked her up from school at 3, and we headed out to a local nursery—the very one who had sent me the email. The lot was deserted when we arrived, and there seemed to be no shortage of trees, so we sat a moment in the warm car, scoping out the situation as clouds of random topsoil and mulch swirled by. At last, I switched off the ignition, put on my mittens, and walked into the icy wind toward the nearest row of Fraser Firs.

A couple of days ago, I heard a story on the radio about the challenges that Christmas Tree farmers in North Carolina, the leading producer of Fraser Firs, were facing: climate change, extreme storms, and a spreading root rot called Phytophthora (Latin for plant destroyer). As bleak as that all sounded, I also learned that there is a whole field dedicated to preserving resilient Christmas Tree DNA, and that made me happy.

Today, I pulled out the second tree in the first row of Frasers, and dang! It was perfect. This particular nursery happens to name all of their trees, as regular readers may recall, and this one was Heather. We walked around a bit to make sure, but we needn't have, in less than 10 minutes, Heather was tied to the top of our car, and we were on the way home.

Wednesday, December 4, 2024

Riding the Cycle

By the time I retired last June, I'd been threatening to start a pickleball club at school for a couple of years. Unfortunately, the stars did not align: I was too busy, the activities coordinator was too busy, and the rec center attached to our school was unwilling to share space.

Since then, a couple of things have changed. Besides the fact that I'm no longer very busy at all (Hallelujah!), the activities coordinator offered the court on the school side of the fieldhouse if I was willing to do it on Wednesday when the teaching staff has meetings. I agreed, so he sent out a couple of messages on the LMS and added some info on the morning announcement, and today was the inaugural day. 

Of course, I came prepared. Knowing my clientele and the time of day we would meet, I researched age-appropriate strategies, drills, and games. I brought my bucket of balls, some cones, the extra paddles a parent donated last year, and some Jolly Ranchers. I also borrowed a Taco, Cat, Goat, Cheese, Pizza deck from Heidi. (It's a good icebreaker, and the cards are like tickets for the winners of the mini-games and challenges.)

At 2:45, a group of ten seventh-grade boys voluntarily assembled. I knew eight of them. The court was in the middle of the unstructured after-school sports choice activity, which was a distraction as I led them through my own very structured activity. It wasn't flawless, but it worked, and at the end of the hour, the kids had a better knowledge of the game.

And now? I have lots of ideas for improvement. Of course.

Tuesday, December 3, 2024

Birthday Adventure

My aunt set her purse on the restaurant floor and scooted her chair over. We were on the final stop of our adventure, an outing we had planned to celebrate her 88th birthday. 

Over the last three hours she had given me a tour of historic Greenbelt, MD, the community she and my mom had grown up in. We had seen their houses and retraced their routes to school, the lake, the shopping center, and the pool. She had pointed out the tree under which the two of them waited every afternoon for my grandmother to return from her job at the Pentagon. "We saluted every car with a person in uniform in it," she laughed. "It was wartime, you know."

After Greenbelt, we drove the short distance to American Legion Post 136, a place I had spent quite a bit of time when I was a child. "Do you think we'll find any kittens in the window wells?" I joked as we approached the converted farmhouse. Trying the glass door, I was pleased to find it unlocked, and we showed ourselves in. There was a glass display case with some memorabilia, and I could see the restaurant and bar through a door beyond. We paused in a room with plaques on the wall engraved with the names of all the past commanders and presidents of the ladies' auxiliary. There we found the names of both of my grandparents. "Can I help you?" asked a woman of about 50 with some alarm. 

It turned out that the place was closed; we had only gotten in because the door was unlocked for the contractor who was onsite to give an estimate for roof repair. She politely showed us out, even as we explained who we were and why we were there. She shrugged with a mixture of apology and indifference at the mention of my grandfather and the baseball league named for him, and then she bolted the door behind us.

The next stop was the house where my grandparents lived when I was a child. It was smaller than in my recollection, but I could picture every room. There was the bay window in the dining room, the small kitchen window, my grandparents' bedroom, the attic. I reminded my aunt of how hot and stuffy the place would get on Sundays in winter, my grandfather would be cooking a prime rib and smoking a cigar and all the other adults were smoking, too. The gas fireplace was cranking heat and all the kids would lie with our faces on the cool plastic of the carpet runner, gasping for cool air on the floor.

And now we were at a restaurant known for its southern-style cooking. A young waitress came over to get our drink orders, but paused before she did to push a chair over to the other side of my aunt. "This is for your purse," she said.

I remembered a friend from work who told us that in some African American circles it's considered bad luck to put your purse on the floor. "Thank you!" I told our server, "Otherwise she'll never have any money!" 

She laughed and walked away. "Who cares?" my aunt said. "I feel rich, because today was such an amazing day!"

Monday, December 2, 2024

Adventures in Advent

"Did we have Advent Calendars when we were little?" my brother asked me the other day.

"No," I answered. "We had the Advent Wreath, and Mom lit a candle every Sunday until Christmas. Remember?"

He nodded.

"I don't think it was thing," I continued. "I never even saw one until I was in school in Switzerland."

By the time my nephews were kids I the 90s, Advent Calendars were easy to find at specialty stores like World Market. Their Grandma Judy used to get both of them their own with a chocolate for every day each year, and those simple cardboard jobs with a holiday scene printed on them were the same ones I remember seeing in Europe.

For a few years in the early oughts, I read one chapter a night in December from Jostein Gaarder's book, The Christmas Mystery, which is essentially a literary Advent Calendar. The book is written in daily chapters and tells the story of Joachim, a boy who finds an old Advent calendar that uncovers the story of a girl named Elisabet, who disappeared from her home fifty years earlier. Elisabet has been taken back through time and space, across Europe to Palestine, to see the Holy Family in Bethlehem. Two thousand years of history flash by, and angels, shepherds, and wise men join her on her joyful pilgrimage. Joachim makes it possible for her to come home. It was a nice way to mark the season.

I'm not sure when it happened, but sometime since then, Advent countdowns have exploded. Even the NY Times Wirecutter has reviews and recommendations of products that will help you count down the days until Christmas. Even so, it wasn't until I received an email in October of this year from a specialty coffee retailer offering 24 days of exquisite beans that I finally joined the fun. The coffee calendar was expensive but so appealing: maybe it was the retiree in me, but I could totally imagine Heidi and me sampling fine coffees from around the world each morning in December. "This is the Framily from Yirgachaffee," I might say. "Can you taste the notes of citrus and blueberry?"

And that is exactly how it has been, two days in. The calendar provides enough beans to brew a single pot of coffee we enjoyed together. But I was so excited about the prospect of the coffee that I also ordered an Advent jigsaw puzzle: it's 1,000 pieces parceled out into 24 little boxes so that each day, Heidi and I work together to assemble 40 or so pieces to add to a fun holiday scene. 

And as if that wasn't enough, my sister got Heidi a gnome-themed Advent Calendar for her birthday in November. Even though it hasn't been exactly as advertised, we have had fun the last couple of mornings opening the little windows to discover what non-gnome thing is in there. Then we put an ornament hanger on it, and hang it on the tiny pine tree in the pot out in front of our house. It looks adorable.

So, yeah, I get it. I see you, Advent, and I'm all in.



Sunday, December 1, 2024

Too Kind

It's been a warm fall, but the absence of our regular wood peddlers has been notable. The last time we saw Lisa, she was rolling an oxygen tank behind her. As always, I'm sure she rang the doorbell and stepped respectfully back from the stoop. "I see y'all need a fill-up," she might have said, gesturing to our wood rack. 

I probably agreed, or more likely, Heidi did because she's usually the one to answer the door, but I'm sure I paid Lisa when she and her cousin were finished stacking the firewood they had hauled from their truck. 

"That should take you through to next year," I'm pretty sure she promised.

And I know I nodded agreeably. "Thank you," I answered. "Take care," I hope I added as I handed over the cash we always kept on hand for these transactions. "See you in the fall."

When the doorbell rang this morning, I knew it had to be her. It was December 1, 38 degrees, and our wood rack was getting low. From the kitchen, I could hear more conversation than usual when Heidi answered the door, and through the window, I saw Lisa's cousin. I went around to the front door.

"How much do we usually pay to fill the rack?" Heidi asked me. In a quieter voice, she added, "Lisa died this summer, and she wants to make sure she charges us the right amount."

"I'm so sorry," I said to the woman at the door. "We have always really appreciated the excellent service you have given us."

"Thank you," she nodded. "Lisa always wanted to make sure we took care of you. She always said, 'We gotta stop by the girls' house to see if they need anything.' I don't know what you paid, but I want to keep it the same out of respect to her."

Saturday, November 30, 2024

Wild Child

Heidi and I were walking on the beach the other day (oh, how lovely it is to toss that into conversation so casually as if a walk on the beach was nothing special!) when we passed a little family enjoying the beach, too. The mom was in a chair a ways up from the incoming tide, and the dad dug in the sand with the younger of their two children; he and the toddler were busy building a castle with a moat. 

Their older child, a girl of about three with wild blond hair, was some yards up the beach, chasing plovers and pipers and splashing in the gentle surf. We were walking in her direction, and she was far enough away from her parents that I was intrigued. I saw her mother wave to her, but not with outward concern, as the child ran farther and farther away, a wee picture of joy and abandon, a tiny person all alone on the beach. 

I wondered how far they would let her go. She was never in danger, but she was at least 200 yards from her parents and moving away with every step. Even so, her joy was evident: I could feel it from where I was. "Get a load of feral Carol," I said to Heidi, and then we were both mesmerized by the wild child ahead of us.

Soon enough, we caught up to her, and I waved as she caught my eye. Her mom was not far behind us; she had risen from her chair the moment her child was out of earshot, but her pace was unhurried because clearly? That kid was fine.

Friday, November 29, 2024

Razzle

We have dogs named Tazzy and Jazzy staying with us at the beach, so naturally, the rhyming concepts of razzle and dazzle would find their way into our conversation.

"Dazzle is such an awesome word," I said to the group, "but when was the last time you were truly dazzled?"

"Snorkeling in Belize," Bill answered immediately. "The colors of all the fish were dazzling."

"I was dazzled today," Treat told us, "by the 300-year-old live oaks with all the lights on them at Brookgreen Garden. It was spectacular."

"I honestly can't think of the last time I was dazzled," I confessed. "But I am going to pay attention and use the word in my blog tomorrow," I vowed.

The next day was Thanksgiving, and as is our tradition, we watched the Macy's Parade. There was a number from the new Broadway show Death Becomes Her. All the performers were clad in deep purple sparkles. "Does that dazzle you?" my brother asked.

"No," I answered, and neither did The Outsiders, Jennifer Hudson, or any of the dogs in the dog show. Our turkey was magnificent and delicious, the desserts were wonderful, the stars from the beach were beautiful, and the lightning illuminating the clouds on the horizon was really cool, but I was not dazzled.

This morning we took our customary walk on the beach, despite the drop in temperature from 60s to 40s. I, committed to walking in bare feet, sloshed through the gentle incoming tide, because the water was warmer than the blustery air. The sun, muted by the clouds on the horizon, cast a bronze glow on the sea. 

"Maybe I'm just too jaded to be dazzled," I said to my brother.

"Too jaded and cynical to appreciate anything?" he replied. 

"Impress me, Lord!" I laughed, raising my arms to the ocean.

The sun rose above a cloud, flooding the beach in light.

"What about that?" he asked.

"That was pretty good!" I said.

"But was it dazzling?"











Yes.

Thursday, November 28, 2024

Baked for Thanksgiving

Courtney, Heidi, and I took a bike ride through the beach neighborhoods around our rental this afternoon. Thanksgiving is so quirky-- some families eat at noon while others, like ours, maintain a more traditional meal time. At any rate, there were people about, walking off or walking in anticipation of their meal, and there were the sounds and smells of people within the homes, too, and their celebrations. In addition to hearing soft jazz, laughter, cheering, and Christmas music as we pedaled by, we also caught the smells of wood smoke, steak (or perhaps fried turkey?), spaghetti sauce, and tons of weed. 

"That's a choice," my sister shrugged.

"A common one, it seems," I agreed.

Wednesday, November 27, 2024

Low Country Thanksgiving Eve

As the sun set this evening, I drove to the southernmost end of the peninsula where we are staying. Holiday lights sparkled from many of the homes on the narrow spit, and plenty were occupied, despite the fact that this is a beach town in the off-season. The smell of wood smoke was on the breeze, and I stopped to let a couple of women cross the street carrying huge kettles. In house after house, I spotted folks setting up folding tables or picnic tables in the breezeway created by the pylons lifting the structure above the floodplain. Still other people stood on the decks of their houses watching the sun sink, turning the pale orange and the clouds pink. I rounded the point and headed back north into the gathering darkness and the lights and warmth of our own holiday home.

Tuesday, November 26, 2024

Ahhh

Wake up.
Drink freshly brewed coffee.
Go to the beach.
Eat a hearty breakfast.
Take a bike ride across the causeway and back along the beach.
Go to the state park to see alligators, egrets, and storks, oh my!
Run a couple of quick errands.
Play mini golf (Do badly! Deal with it!)
Cook dinner with your brother and sister.
Know that tomorrow will be just as good or better.

Monday, November 25, 2024

Zonked Out

After a fun day of vacation, I slept soundly last night. In fact, I only woke up once in the middle of the night-- I needed to pee and put my laptop away, which was still on my lap, powered on, and open to the Sunday crossword puzzle. Were my fingers still on the keyboard, too? Hard to say; I'm just grateful the lights were out, and the machine didn't fall to the floor like my books sometimes do!

Sunday, November 24, 2024

Be Healed

Usually, I am an inveterate beachcomber: sometimes, there's nothing more satisfying than walking the shore and scanning the middens pushed up by the tide, looking for a hidden treasure. But, such focus can also be a distraction from the splendor around me, or worse. Many's the time I've left the beach with a stiff neck and a headache and not much else.

This morning felt a little different to me. It's the first day of our week-long vacation at the beach, and I just wanted to walk. With the early morning sunshine reflecting off the ocean, Heidi, Lucy, and I set an easy pace, walking and talking to cover the mile-and-a-half to the pier. We were on our way back when somehow the conversation turned to our aching joints and the stiff gaits we sometimes have to push through. 

"When I've been sitting in the chair too long, it's like," I mimicked an exaggerated toddle.

"How is it again?" Heidi laughed.

I paused and stooped over, resting my hand on my hip, ready to limp forward, but there on the sand at my feet was a big, perfect shark's tooth. I scooped it up, whooped with joy, and did a little happy dance. 

All my aches and pains were gone.

Saturday, November 23, 2024

The Week that Is

Should there be a Saturday road trip on the agenda, I always look forward to listening to the AT40 70s edition broadcast. The nostalgia of hearing songs from my childhood seems to fuel the journey, making even the longest trip shorter. 

I was disappointed today, though, when the show was a rebroadcast from this week in 1970. Generally, the earlier in the decade the countdown, the less satisfying I find it. In 1970, I was eight, and although I recognized Black Magic Woman by Sanatana (#40), the next few numbers were disappointing, and so I turned my radio down and drove in silence. 

But soon, my mind turned to what I might have been doing Thanksgiving week in 1970 when I was 8. Back then, our family always took a road trip from our home in South Jersey to see family in DC. I imagined the five of us packed into our blue 1964 Ford Falcon heading south. I remembered that one year, we left so early that we actually stopped for breakfast at a roadside diner, which was not our usual routine. I could picture myself sitting with my brother and sister on one side of a booth, waiting for our pancakes, looking out the window at the cars whiz by in the bright November morning sun, and feeling the excitement of the holiday bubbling through my brain.

Back in the present, I navigated the flow of traffic under the pale blue November sky and felt the excitement of the holiday bubble through my brain.

Friday, November 22, 2024

Putting it in R

I spent a chunk of today making returns: I dropped off some components of Heidi's Halloween costume that didn't quite work at UPS, returned a power staple gun that wasn't right for the job at Home Depot, a glue gun at Michaels, a sweater at Costco, and another Halloween thing at TJMaxx. 

Before, when I worked full-time, running such errands could be time-consuming and stressful, but today's activity offered all the satisfaction of accomplishing a list of chores AND more! Instead of spending money and bringing bags of stuff home, I cleared out bags of stuff from the house and got some money back. 

Thursday, November 21, 2024

The Bird in My Hand

I had Lucy today when I stopped by Treat's school to pick something up. "We're going to take a walk around the neighborhood," I said, "any interest?"

He was game, so the three of us set out from the upper parking lot onto a paved trail winding through the woods. "I had no idea this was here!" I said.

"Neither did I," Treat said. "We got a strongly worded email last week reminding us that we must never take the students out of the building during instructional time," he added, shrugging. "So I haven't spent much time out here."

The trail meandered above the school and then turned up the hill toward the elementary school. Soon, we found ourselves in their parking lot. "It's been years since I've been over here," I told Treat, "but my very first classroom was here."

I recounted the tale of how, after getting my teaching degree and license and subbing for six months, I still had no offers by June. "I wasn't even in the candidate pool," I sighed. Then, a woman who worked at the ed center and had become an unofficial mentor to me offered me a summer school position teaching kindergarteners at that school. "I jumped at the chance!" I laughed, recalling how I told my little class of 12 that they were not in kindergarten anymore-- this was the first day of first grade! Back in those days, there was no curriculum, so I used all the strategies and activities I had learned during my student teaching in first grade to plan my program. The kids wrote every day, I read to them, and we sang and danced and walked out in the field (which was currently occupied by four trailers) looking for inspiration. 

It was great, and the five weeks flew by. Lots of teachers stopped by to ask me where I taught during the year, but every time they did, my face fell. "Nowhere," I answered. On the last day of summer school, I still didn't have a job, and no one from HR had even come to see me teach. I cried as I loaded my boxes in the car and drove home.

A few days later, the same lady intervened again. "Write me a thank-you note," she suggested. "Not because I want one, but I'll forward it to HR and tell them what a great job you did."

The next day the phone rang and the director of personnel herself was on the line. "I read your gracious note," she drawled, "and if there's one thing we want in our teachers? It's good manners." 

That is how I got into the candidate pool. Once I was eligible to be hired, I had a job teaching sixth-grade English the next day. 

And you can bet I kept it.

Wednesday, November 20, 2024

Big Picture

The doorbell rang at 8:30 this morning. When I swung the door open, a man dressed in white stood on the stoop. "We are painting your unit today," he told me.

I nodded. The project had been going on for over a month. We had been power-washed several weeks ago, and now it was time to replace any rotting wood and paint the rest. "Can I just move things away from the railing?" I asked. "That's all you're doing, right?"

"No, Miss," he replied, "it's the flooring, too."

Now, that was a different situation: one that required me to move a lot of stuff completely off the balcony, either into the house or through the house. I raised my eyebrows. I was not unfamiliar with the details of this project, especially since Heidi is on the board. "I thought this building was scheduled for next week," I said. "I'm sure got an email that said so."

"They must have sent the wrong schedule," he answered politely, but his expression was clear. This is happening, Lady.

I sighed and thanked him, then set about clearing the decks. Later, as I sat surrounded by lawn chairs, cacti, deck boxes, and flower pots, I pulled up my email. According to that communication, our building was scheduled for the week of November 25. I was not wrong. Looking more closely at the message, however, I noticed that the building before ours was scheduled to be completed on the 18th, and there was no work listed between the 18th and the 25th, an apparent oversight.

I hadn't picked up the mistake because I was only focused on my unit rather than the overall project. Such a perspective is unsurprising, but in this case, it was also unhelpful. Oh, and to add insult to the situation, they didn't even paint our unit today, so the stuff is still just sitting on the tarp in the house.

Tuesday, November 19, 2024

My Two Cents

Like many school systems nationwide, our local district has been wrestling with student phone use. Several schools, including my former school, are piloting lock pouches, but the interim policy for all schools is no phones during the school day. The district provides a personal device for instruction to every middle school student and a laptop to every high school student. Those can be distracting and disruptive enough, but kids (like many adults) are attached to their phones, and many will use them almost constantly if allowed.

When the policy was first discussed, many kids expressed extreme anxiety at being separated from their phones, which they considered a necessity, but many parents allso support students having access to their phones, mainly in case of emergency or danger.

Anecdotally, I have heard from my teacher friends in middle school that the younger students do not have as much of an issue with the restrictions as their older peers, which is predictable. Teachers, on the other hand, are mostly in favor of the new policies, especially since they were the ones who had to enforce the old rules, often resulting in the loss of instructional time and the goodwill of their students.

Not surprisingly, the survey data recently released by the school district shows just that. The student and teacher approval ratings are inverted: 14% of kids find the policy favorable, while 86% of teachers find the same. Parents are split 50-50. 

Because I worked with 11-year-olds for so many years, I know that what a group of kids find "normal" and "acceptable" can change rapidly based on experience and expectations. Children are resilient and adaptable, plus they are only at any given school for so long, so it's possible to shift the culture in just a few years. (For the better or the worse.)

The very fact that this present group is struggling with giving up their phones for part of the day makes me inclined to agree that schools should limit their use as much as possible. That way, it will be a non-issue in the near future for the kids who are coming up.

Monday, November 18, 2024

I'm Baaaack

I noticed a charge on my credit card that I didn't immediately recognize this morning. A little investigation revealed that it was an annual subscription to Screencastify, which I used sporadically when teaching. Although I have no specific recollection, I'm sure I signed up for a free trial, which had been auto-renewing for the last couple of years. 

I knew I had most likely enrolled using my school email, which was disabled, so accessing the account to cancel it would probably be more onerous than necessary. I sighed and tapped the sign-in with Google option, hoping it would somehow skip the school authentication. It did not, but when I clicked over to the next screen, I gasped. Rather than an error message, I got the two-factor screen just as my watch dinged with an access code. I had been reauthorized! 

Even though my substitute onboarding has not been officially completed (HR is notoriously slow in that respect), my account has been reactivated, and I can access all my school stuff again. Aside from being available should the ideal sub position (Is that an oxymoron? I think it might be!) open up, that's all I really wanted anyway. 

So, no rush, APS. I got what I applied for. Oh, and I canceled Screencastify, too.

Sunday, November 17, 2024

Social Caterpillar

When I used to spend my days at work surrounded by hundreds of people, the last thing I wanted to do in my free time was socialize. Things are different now that I'm home alone all day. One of my former colleagues invited us to a happy hour on Friday evening, and not only was I willing to go out and see people, but I was actually looking forward to it.  

Heidi and I planned on making a polite appearance, but we ended up staying at least two hours later than we expected, and I really enjoyed the gathering. 

As an introvert, I have long understood that spending too much time in a crowd can be draining, but it wasn't until recently that I realized that spending too much time alone is not ideal either, even for me.

Look out, world!

Saturday, November 16, 2024

What a Beauty

I looked up from where I was sitting in my chair. The daylight had faded completely as the three of us, Heidi, Betty, and I, had spent the afternoon chatting, and it was night. There, framed perfectly in the window, was the November full moon, also known as the beaver moon. It is also a supermoon this year, and the last we'll see until October 2025. It was still low enough in the sky to be huge, golden, and stunning. 

And I didn't even have to get up to behold it.

Friday, November 15, 2024

The Ghost of November Past

It wasn't until yesterday that I even thought about NaNoWriMo, the November writing throwdown that challenges people of all ages to write a novel of 50,000 words or more in 30 days. The novel does not have to be good, mind you, but it does have to be complete, which is arguably the heaviest lift for some, myself included. 

As regular readers know, I'm a big proponent of challenges, and I always thought I could possibly complete this one if I had enough time, but I totally forgot about it this year. November came so quickly and with so many fraught feelings. In fact, I only remembered when I was revisiting my writing from November 2009

Ah well, maybe 2025 is my year to write a [good, bad, or otherwise] novel. We'll see.

Thursday, November 14, 2024

Short Ribs

“Let’s have short ribs,” suggested Mary when I mentioned it was about time for our writing group to meet, “at your house.” 

I lifted my eyebrows and shrugged non-committally. “We should have it at my house. It’s been a minute.” 

“I’ll send the text,” she offered. 

Although I didn’t promise, I did plan to make short ribs. I’d made them once before for the group many years ago. Then, I’d seen beautiful boneless short ribs on sale at the grocery store, and they seemed like the thing to cook. I had adapted a braised lamb shank recipe, and in my memory, they were effortlessly delicious: perfectly tender in a savory sauce enriched with mascarpone cheese. 

That’s what I was planning this time, too, but I decided to order the meat from a local farm that delivers dairy, meat, and produce. Their beef is sustainably and humanely raised and very flavorful. Two frozen blocks of bone-in short ribs were delivered last week, and the first part of the recipe was make-ahead, so I thawed the ribs a few days ago and planned the first cook for yesterday. 

I knew I would have to cut the ribs to separate them myself, but I wasn’t prepared for the thickness of the fat cap on them. Rather than marbled, they were layered, and each rib had a slightly different proportion of meat to fat and bone. When I thought about it, I knew that such irregularity is to be expected when you source your meat from a farm. Unlike in the grocery store, all of these ribs came from a single cow. Because of the sheer volume they supply, grocery meat distributors can package meat by like size and shape by trimming and sorting through cuts from many animals. 

There is an adage recommending giving a task you really need to be done to a busy person. The notion is that the busy are more efficient and productive. Accurate or not, the folks in charge of education seem to have taken that one to heart: as much talk as there is about taking things off teachers' proverbial plates, in the years that I taught, our responsibilities were regularly compounded. The time it took to do my job as well as I wanted to was one of the main reasons I retired. 

As unsure as I am about the busy person maxim, I have found that the inverse is true, at least for me. The less I have to do? The less I get done, especially since retiring. No deadlines, means, well, no deadlines. But with the actual date of writing group fast approaching, I found myself with a hard to-do list, and spent yesterday catching up on the housekeeping I’d been putting off since we cut our cleaning lady’s visits to once a month. Even so, I did not feel stressed, because? I’m retired! 

Depending who you talk to, or what recipe you read, short ribs are either one of the easiest dishes to make or else they are a somewhat tricky entree to pull off. The conflict lies in the cut itself. Short ribs are cut from the first five ribs of the cow, which is also in the chuck section, or the side of the chest. That area has a lot of muscle and fat, so the meat is tough, but marbled with fat and collagen that break down and tenderize it with long, slow cooking. That’s why most recipes call for braising short ribs-- just pop them in a low oven or slow cooker, set the timer for several hours, and voila!

The tricky part is this: if you don’t cook the ribs long enough, they are super-tough and chewy, but if you are overdone, they can be cottony and dry. The exact timing can vary, too, depending on the ribs you get. All told, however, the braising liquid can be forgiving, so overcooking is less of a problem. 

It was around six last night when I butchered the ribs and began searing them in my new cast iron braiser, all the while cooking our dinner for that night, too. “Are you going to have enough time tonight?” Heidi asked. “Weren’t you going to try to do those earlier?” 

“Yes and yes!” I answered confidently, straining the bone broth I had simmered all afternoon for the braise. “The recipe says they only need to cook an hour and a half tonight.” And that’s all I gave them. Even though they seemed tough when I pierced them with a fork, the recipe also called for cooling them overnight in the braising liquid, and I was hopeful that would do the trick. 

This morning, when I geared up for phase two of the dish, the short ribs were still very tough and chewy, even after a night in the broth and an hour in the marinade. There was much more fat than I remembered, too, but that was easily discarded. I hoped they would tenderize in the short cooking time remaining, but I was disappointed 20 minutes later when I checked. Uh oh. It was time to improvise. 

And I did. Another hour in the oven seemed to do the trick, although I would have to tweak the sauce a bit. Fortunately, I had made another bit of beef stock with the bones I’d lifted from the ribs. And there was the mascarpone, standing by to pull it all together. Dinner was saved, but was it because I was busy or because I had all that time?

Wednesday, November 13, 2024

It's a Twin Thing

Maybe it's because I spent so long in middle school, or maybe it's why I spent so long in middle school, but I kind of dig kid lit. We needn't debate its comparative merits here, but let's agree it has some: there is some great writing out there intended for young audiences.

Anyhoo, this morning when I was browsing through one of the several emails I get from folks recommending books to me, my attention was captured by Let it Glow, a collaborative middle years novel co-written by Marissa Meyer and Joanne Levy. Meyer I was familiar with, having read both her Lunar Chronicles and Archenemies series, and the book was billed as a "charming, Parent Trap-esque holiday romp," so how could I resist?

I downloaded the audiobook and listened to the tale of twins separated at birth as I cleaned house today, and it was delightful until... the girls decided to switch places! Oh, sure, I should have expected it, especially with the blurb and all, but really? Why would anyone put themselves through such an awkward experience?

I taught many sets of twins over my career, several of them identical. In the early days, it was school policy to put those siblings on separate middle school teams to give them time and space to develop their individuality. Later on? Parent requests to have their kids in the same classes took precedence. Their reasoning? Convenience. It was an extra layer of effort to keep track of different assignments and expectations. 

But back before that, I taught a student named Patricia who had a twin, Anne on the other team. Even though my best friends when I was in middle school were identical twins who were as easy for me to tell apart as anyone else in the world, I have never been able to consistently and definitively identify the twins I've taught, and these kids were no exception. 

I taught Patricia, so I didn't know her sister, but when they were together, it was only the glimmer of familiarity in Patricia's expression that clued me in. (That, or I remembered what outfit she was wearing that day.) There were times in class, though, when Patricia seemed kind of out of it, and I wondered if she had some attention or focusing issues. Most of the time, though, she was on target, and just another of the 21 students in the room.

Years after the twins left middle school, I ran into one of their friends out in the community. After we caught up on what she had been doing, I asked if she stayed in touch with any of her friends from our class. Sure enough, she mentioned Patricia and Ann and filled me in on their lives, too. 

Then she laughed. "Did you know they used to switch places all the time in middle school?" she asked.

I shook my head. "Really?" I answered. "I had no idea." 

She chuckled again. "They were so bad!" she said.

Later, after we parted ways, I thought about the girls trading places and I realized that all those times when Patricia seemed lost and uncomfortable, it was probably because it was her sister. I got a knot in my stomach just thinking about it. 

Then I shrugged and sighed. I hope it was worth it.

Tuesday, November 12, 2024

Deja Vu Therapy

I spent some time poking around the archives of this blog this morning. I started by reviewing my writing from past Novembers, in search of my thoughts and observations on Thanksgiving and food, but what I found to be more timely and helpful were my thoughts and observations on the election in 2016. In fact, reading what I wrote then kind of made me feel better now.

See what you think:

Blue State Blues
November 8, 2016

I confess that I did not sleep well at all last night, and when I finally rose this morning, I was dreading the day.

The pouring rain in the gray dawn of this morning seemed like an appropriate contrast to the brilliant sunshine and autumn-colored promise of yesterday. It was also appropriate that the lesson in my English today was on composing belief statements in support of our upcoming essay-writing unit. Not surprisingly, our diverse student body had plenty of belief statements to go around today, and they really wanted to talk about them.

"What did you think of the election?" they asked me.

"I was surprised by the results," I said neutrally.

"Were you sad?" They were definitely looking for an ally or an enemy.

"I know a lot of people were disappointed," I answered, silently counting myself among them, "but a lot of people were happy, too."

And then I shrugged, thinking of myself tossing and turning last night as my phone glowed with update after devastating update. Could it really have been fewer than 24 hours ago that I was hoping the other side would turn their attention to what unites us rather than what divides us in support of a Clinton administration? Could I do the same now?

"I'm open-minded," I told them, "and I hope for the best."

Against the Wind
November 20, 2016

We braved steady winds of 20-30 mph (with gusts of 50!) to bike-share around the tidal basin today. Well, Kyle and I pedaled while Heidi and a friend ran-- kudos to those two! We had the wind at our backs all the way from the FDR where we picked up our bikes until we made the turn toward the Jefferson.

There we had to laugh as, spinning our pedals as quickly as we could, we nearly stood still on the asphalt path. And once we stopped to say hello to Heidi who was chugging along from the other direction, it was impossible to even start riding again. So we turned in our bikes at the station conveniently located there, and spent a few minutes with one of the founding fathers.

As we stood in the rotunda, I remembered reading that the huge bronze image of Jefferson had intentionally been placed in the direct line of sight of the statue of Alexander Hamilton on the north side of the Treasury Building, so that he could keep an eye on his fiercest political rival.

I took a moment to line up my view with his, but although I could only make out the roof of treasury, I got a clear look at the White House. It was practically glowing in the midafternoon sun, and I confess that my heart swelled more than a little at the symbolism.

It's been a hard couple of weeks for me as I have wrestled with finding the appropriate way to respond to an impending Trump presidency. In all that I have heard and read and thought, my brother's advice has guided me most: don't protest the election or any abstract idea of the man, rather speak out against specific actions and policies that you feel are wrong and work for what you think is right.

Returning home I was greeted by some breaking news: Donald Trump confirms that wife Melania and son Barron will stay in New York after the presidential inauguration.

The president's family not living in the White House?

 I think that choice is wrong.

Monday, November 11, 2024

Extreme Waiting

I blithely swung by Trader Joe's on my way home from another errand this afternoon, planning to dash in for a few items I needed for dinner. Perhaps the packed parking lot should have been my first clue that my idea was not original, but I got a space right away when someone pulled out. The traffic in the produce section was weird; many shoppers were milling more than usual. 

It wasn't until I turned the corner at the back of the store that I realized they were in the line to check out. Sixty people or more wrapped the entire interior perimeter of the store, waiting for their turn at the register. There were literally more people waiting than shopping.

I could have left, but I am always impressed by the efficiency of the check-out process there, and so I quickly finished my shopping and headed to the back of the line. Out of curiosity, I launched the stopwatch on my watch and then started watching my fellow waiters. Although there were plenty of wide eyes as folks realized just how long the line was, it seemed like everyone was as patient as I was, and in 12 minutes and 47 seconds, I was on my way out to my car.

Sunday, November 10, 2024

Extreme Weather

Wait! What is that weird wet stuff falling from the sky? Could it be our record-setting 38-day drought has finally broken? This, after September nearly set a record for consecutive rainy days. Fingers crossed, we have a couple of record-setting blizzards in our near future!

Saturday, November 9, 2024

Net Gain

Our cat Tibby is one of those plant-eating felines who can't leave anything green alone. As such, we have to hide or place any plants or cut flowers out of her reach. Over the years, that's become more challenging: our place is only so big, and Tibby's pretty adept at finding and reaching almost anything. 

There is one place that's an exception, though. The downstairs bathroom is always closed, so we have taken to putting any bouquets we receive in there. To be honest, it's kind of awesome, really. Fresh flowers in the powder room are a lovely touch.

Friday, November 8, 2024

Kids Only

Heidi was home today, and so we walked Lucy together. The three of us ambled amiably through the back greens and commons of the neighborhood, away from the streets and traffic. There are little playgrounds back there, near the pools and tennis courts, and we saw groups of children playing unaccompanied by adults, which is a rare sight in this area. 

Not surprisingly, the kids were doing and saying ridiculous things: shoving each other over a liter of Pelligrino, arguing over a swing, playing mean princess in a log cabin-like structure, and riding bikes recklessly down embankments. Even so, we were more charmed than alarmed by this display of untamed behavior. Both of us recognized it from our own, more free-range childhoods.

My only regret is that we were there at all, because each time we drew near, the kids either stopped what they were doing or stared defiantly at us to see if we would intervene. 

Thursday, November 7, 2024

Wordle Wise

 Solved it in five:


Wednesday, November 6, 2024

Just a Little Bump in the Road

I made the mistake of checking the news when my phone woke me up at 2:30 last night, and I couldn't get back to sleep after that, no matter how many meditations and bedtime stories I listened to. The election results were crushingly disappointing: I really thought it was going to go the other way. 

As I lay there, I couldn't get that Batman movie quote about the hero Gotham needs versus the one it deserves out of my head. Which one is Batman? I wondered but didn't want to turn the phone on again. It turns out that Batman, incorruptible and strong, is the hero they deserve, but they need him to be a scapegoat and a villain. Yeah, it doesn't make much sense to me, either.

But what about America? Is Trump the president we need or the one we deserve right now? I think he's a deplorable character, but we elected him, so we deserve what we get. I sure don't think he's the guy we need for the job, but then, that's why I didn't vote for him. 

I read an article this morning that contained what I considered to be a bit of an understatement. The next four years are going to be rocky, it said.

I laughed, because we should be so lucky.

Tuesday, November 5, 2024

Kid Charming

On a long road trip, our conversation meanders, but it never wanders far from school and teaching. Despite my retirement in June, this trip was no exception. At one point, we were talking about a group of kids we both knew who were very charismatic, even if they were challenging in the classroom. 

I told Heidi about a time when the other teacher in my co-taught class was out, and I was fussing at some of the kids. 

One of them raised his hand. "What happened to the nice teacher?" he asked.

I raised my eyebrows. "What are you saying?"

He flashed his dimples at me and smiled. "I mean, what happened to the other nice teacher?"

Now, those are some social skills!

Monday, November 4, 2024

Five Dogs, Will Travel

What happened to the other house? my sister-in-law texted when I sent a link to one more possibility for our Thanksgiving beach trip.

This one has a more generous dog policy, I replied.

Oh good, she answered, we have a generous amount of dogs.

Sunday, November 3, 2024

Demolition Delight

As fall rapidly winds into winter up here in Buffalo, Heidi's mom had a few lawn chores for us to help with today. After we stored away the bird baths, grill, and hanging swing, there was the matter of the old double settee. Made of pine, ten or more seasons of use had taken its toll on the piece: the mortise and tenon joints were loose, the wood on the seats was rotten, and it was no longer safe to sit upon.

A lovely teak replacement was already stowed in anticipation of next summer, but the old one had to be demolished before hauling it out for trash pick-up. I hunted down a hammer to do the job, and the ease and gratifying crack with which the first slats were knocked off inspired me to make quick work of the piece. In under fifteen minutes, the settee was reduced to a neat stack of lumber. 

I'm always sad when something has reached the end of its natural life, but today I was reminded of how satisfying it can be to tear something apart. "Let me know if you have anything else for me to destroy!" I told my mother-in-law gleefully.

"I think you enjoyed that a little too much," she answered with raised eyebrow. "But, thank you. I will"

Saturday, November 2, 2024

Uphill Both Ways

 "Look! That place has four carved pumpkins!" Heidi pointed out on our walk this afternoon.

"Wow," I said, examining the faces of the jack o'lanterns. "Each kid must have gotten their own." We continued down the street. "Times sure have changed," I added. "When we were little, my parents just got one pumpkin."

"Us, too," Heidi said. "I don't think anyone had more than one."

"We had to draw slips of paper out of a hat to see who got to design which feature," I laughed. "One got the eyes, another the nose, and the third, the mouth. Then my mom drew them on the pumpkin, and my dad carved them." I shrugged. "It worked."

Friday, November 1, 2024

Manifold

Like the road to the White House, the road to Buffalo goes through Pennsylvania, and we saw many political signs on our way through that state today. 

Since our route was primarily rural, the preponderance was pro-Trump. Most were standard campaign road signs, although there was a green banner in a field reading "Farmers for Trump" and then a whole field with enormous block letters spelling the former president's name mown into it. There were also many flags with various messages, including, "I stand with the convicted felon." Few messages were vulgar; perhaps the worst was a hand-painted sign reading, "Vote for Trump, not the Tramp."

But there were other signs, too, and every time we saw one for Harris and Walz, it fanned a glimmer of hope in our hearts.

Thursday, October 31, 2024

A Halloween Fright

I heard the smart tattoo of a snare drum today when Lucy and I headed out for our midday walk, and I knew the Halloween parade at the elementary school up the hill was kicking off. When we got up there, we were treated to the spectacle of hundreds of costumed kids trooping around the track, led by the high school marching band.

In truth, it was the band I was most excited to see. I scanned the group as they promenaded by to see if I recognized any former students. It was tough: their faces were shadowed by the brims of their caps and obscured by their instruments. Focused on the twin tasks of playing and marching, most of the young musicians ignored me and the rest of their audience, but there was an exception. A single trumpet player's eyes grew huge when they spotted me standing by the fence. 

"Angel!" I waved.

He blushed, looked away, and kept on marching. 

I was a little sad, but I understood. 

Sometimes, there's nothing scarier than your teacher calling on you when you're not ready.

Wednesday, October 30, 2024

Six More Weeks of Wondering?

Early this afternoon, my friend Ruth and I were walking and talking at a park on the Patuxent River near her home in Maryland. "I don't know how we got here," she said about the upcoming election and shook her head in dismay.

"Right," I agreed. "Who knows what's going to happen?" 

"We're not going to know on Election Day, either," Ruth sighed.

I nodded and looked across the field toward the river. "Hey! Is that a groundhog over there?"

She squinted. "Yep. He's a fat one." 

"Maybe he knows," I laughed. "He could be Phil's cousin, Patuxent Pete!"

"Is he going left or right?" Ruth played along.

"Our left or his?" I asked.

"Never mind," she answered. "He went underground." She sighed again. "That can't be good."

Tuesday, October 29, 2024

No Brainer

I try to be as empathetic and non-judgmental as possible when it comes to people with different opinions than mine, but Heidi and I saw a yard sign the other day that perfectly sums up my opinion on the coming election.



Monday, October 28, 2024

Fall Classic

I always used to say that the first thing I wanted to do when I retired was take a fall vacation, but with Heidi still working, such a trip was not in the cards this year. Turns out? I didn't have to go anywhere to enjoy the season.

If it rained nearly every day for the first three weeks of my proper retirement, then this October has more than made up for it. There hasn't been a drop of rain and barely a cloud in the sky for 25 days. It's been cool air, blue skies, and leaves slowly changing color, and for the first time in decades, I have been free to enjoy every minute of it. 

It's been fantastic!

Sunday, October 27, 2024

Game Time

The neighborhood was bustling in the crisp October sunshine this morning. All sorts of folks were out and about walking their dogs, grabbing some coffee, and shopping the farmers' market. And the roads were busy and stores were doing a brisk business early this afternoon when we ran some errands. But when Lucy and I stepped out later for a walk, the shadows were growing long beneath blue skies, and no one else was around. I glanced at my watch and noted the time; our hometown football team, doing well for the first time in years, was about to kick off.

Saturday, October 26, 2024

No Simple Highway

I was thinking of calling my aunt this evening, so I picked up my phone, and the time flashed 6:12. "Okay, okay!" I responded to what seemed like a gentle nudge from spirit. 

My aunt and I had a nice conversation, and when I hung up, a picture of my mom popped up on the memories feature of my phone screen. I tapped it and was treated to a montage of photos of her set to the Grateful Dead song "Ripple." 

I knew why the pictures showed up, but the song? Was entirely random. Five years ago today, I was adding photos to the slide show for my mother's funeral, and there they were again. She was young, she was older, she was laughing with a clown nose on, she was a teenager petting a dog, a grandmother reading to the boys, a traveler sitting in a plaza in Spain. She was dancing with my brother, then bundled up on snowshoes, and then sitting poolside in a bikini at Zaby's Motel. 

And the Grateful Dead sang

If my words did glow with the gold of sunshineAnd my tunes were played on the harp unstrungWould you hear my voice come through the music?Would you hold it near as it were your own?

Ripple in still waterWhen there is no pebble tossedNor wind to blow