Open and Closed

My students recently completed their "This I Believe" essays, and I tried to write one along with them, following the prescribed steps, just as I had them do.

Well... it wasn't easy! But here's what I came up with:

I Believe in Doors.

I must have been in my third year of college when it dawned on me: I would never be Miss America. It was the first time I heard the definitive click of a door locking forever in my life. Sure, doctor, lawyer, president were all still possibilities, but, whether I wished for it or not, it was clear to me that I would never walk down that runway in my sash and tiara, tears flowing, clutching my victory bouquet and waving as Burt Parks sang.

Of course, I didn’t wish for it, had never taken a step in my life toward it, but I felt a bit of sting realizing that there was at least one “never” in my life. What other nevers are there? I wondered then, but at 20, the list seemed pretty short. Now, thirty-five years later, I have walked away from many closed doors, some without remorse, some with more than a bit of regret, some I closed myself, some I never tried, and some were locked by the time I got there.

There’s a Chinese proverb that as an educator I find meaningful. It goes something like, Teachers open the door, but you must pass through it on your own. In my career, I’ve had countless conversations with wayward students encouraging them to be more mindful of their choices, if only to keep as many doors as possible open for themselves in the future. I won’t be standing there holding the door forever.

But at their age they still believe that anything can happen, and the connection between their actions and their choices is too abstract to grasp. They haven’t learned what sound a closing door makes, but that doesn’t mean that doors aren’t closing. And not all doors are created equal. The Olympians competing right now have dedicated much if not most of their young lives to achieve the opportunity to compete. That heavy door is open because they have thrown most of their young lives against it.

I once read that it’s a good idea take the opportunity to turn our minds to the present any time we pass through a doorway during the day. Whether we are coming or going or simply changing rooms, we can allow crossing a threshold to be a reminder to focus on the now. I like that advice, because I believe that it is in the present that we find the keys to the metaphorical doors we may encounter in the future.