The Time You Enjoy Wasting Is Not Wasted Time

One of the students in my homeroom had literally nothing to say this morning as we waited to be called to an assembly. The rest of the group was having a jolly conversation about vegetables that we either loved or hated, but he sat unsmiling, arms crossed tightly. "You know what," I told him, "I know your social skills teacher (it's Heidi), and she says you talk all the time in that class! Why won't you talk to us?"

I smiled and winked. He clenched his arms even more tightly across his chest and grimaced. "Because this class," he started with a sneer and took a deep breath.

"Whoa!" I took advantage of the pause and held up my hands. "I think you might be getting ready to say something that could hurt my feelings. Take a minute to think about it."

He did not follow my advice. "Because this class is uselessly boring!" he proclaimed.

The other students froze and looked from him to me.

"All you people do is talk, talk, talk, about stupid stuff," he finished.

"Hey!" said another student. "It is not stupid! We are just trying to get to know each other!"

"I'm so sorry you feel that way," I told him. "But next week I'm going to give you a locker and an iPad-- I don't think you'll find either of those useless or boring." I paused and shrugged.  "And give the rest of us a chance, too!"

My Life as a Book

To help my students make the connection between reading and writing and to also gather ideas for the short personal narratives they will soon write, I give them the following prompt: If your life were a novel, what would the plot be?

The exercise also helps with the skill of synopsizing (which my family will tell you I learned a little late in life!), and, as a bonus, the kids' answers can be very revealing.

As usual, I did the assignment, too. This is not what I wrote, but I sure could have.

It's about a sixth grade English teacher who has a lot of students, but she still wants to do a really, really good job, and lots of people say to "work smarter not harder" but she's not sure what that means, and since it's just the third day of school she's just trying to learn 137 new names and make sure she has enough chairs for everyone.

(Spoiler Alert: I'm sure it will have a happy ending!)

Cut to the Chase, Lady!

I asked a disruptive student to step outside for a moment.

"What did I do?" he asked belligerently.

"Who said you did anything?" I replied.

He scowled. I shrugged.

"I noticed that you weren't following the directions," I told him, "and it's noisy in our classroom. I wanted to see if you had any questions."

"They were talking to me!" he said about the other students at his table.

"It looked like there was a lot of conversation going on," I agreed, "between everybody," I added.

"That's why I don't know the directions," he said.

"Did you notice that I put your seat right near where I usually stand?" I asked him. "That's so if you have any questions, you can ask me and I will help you."

He gave a small nod.

"There are a lot of kids in our class," I told him, "and I need you to be doing what you're supposed to..."

I took a breath and he looked a little alarmed. We both knew I was winding up for the pep talk. He reached out and patted my shoulder.

"I get it!" he told me. "I'll pay attention!"

I laughed in surprise.

"Say, I promise," I said.

"I promise!" he answered. "Now what were we supposed to do?"

Heard in the Hallways

"I don't need need a nametag-- my name is unforgettable!" ~one of 137 new students

"Will I breathe fire?" ~Z when I told him his classroom was near the Dragon Team.

"What can I do to help with that class? It was unlike anything else I saw today!" ~my co-teacher after our 6th period, 28 student inclusion class

"It's time to go home already? Well, that was a fast day!" ~new 6th grader after the final bell

"1 down, 179 to go!" ~principal in our "quick stand-up faculty meeting debrief"

Brace Yourself

The bills are paid; the errands are run; the house is clean; the pool is closed; the alarms are set for zero dark thirty; and my writing notebook has a fancy new cover.

I guess I'm ready to start school.

No Sour Grapes

When life gives you bland cantaloupes?

Make cantaloupe vinegar!

Let it ferment a bit reader and get back to me.

Two Minds

I ran into a pair of former students when I was walking the dog this afternoon. "Hey twins!" I hailed them. "Are you ready for seventh grade?"

They answered simultaneously:
"NO!"
"Yes!"

I laughed, unsurprised.

They are fraternal twins.