Rounding Up Those Pennies

One of the errands I ran today was taking our big jar of coins to a machine that would count and cash them. I have avoided this task until now, mainly because the 12 percent surcharge seems so onerous. But then I figured that, whatever the cost, the time it would take me to sort and roll the coins (mostly pennies, nickels, and dimes) was probably more valuable. 

I was right. The machine did in five minutes what would have taken me several hours, and the charge was about six bucks. At the end of the process, the contraption spat out a ticket for me to take to customer service. My total was 44.13, and it made me laugh to think I would get thirteen cents back after just ridding myself of 5000-some cents.

When the cashier scanned the barcode on my ticket and tapped her screen, the readout on my side showed 44.15, and there was a line item above the total that said +.02 [penny round-up]. She handed me 2 twenties, four singles, a nickel, and a dime, which I tucked into my pocket, sure I had seen our penniless future.

Like Riding a Virtual Bicycle

In a throwback to 2020, I worked from home today. 

On my first full day as a consultant, I spent several hours on Zoom calls, stretching my unused virtual communication muscles. By the end of the last call, I felt more limber, even though I had four browser windows with 10 tabs each open. Even so, I was able to turn my camera on and off, mute and unmute, admit people from the waiting room, and share my screen. 

One of my biggest challenges was leaving my morning meeting; it was a bit awkward to make the consulting company executives wait while I fumbled to find the exit button on my toolbar. A little while later, I had trouble finding the end-meeting button when my own call was over. 

To be honest? That one didn't matter much, because the teacher I was talking to was already gone-- I know from experience she had better things to do.

A Little Progress

I spent several hours cleaning and decluttering today, and although the place looks clean, there's still a good bit of clutter left to clear. In my defense, I worked on some junk drawers and cupboards, and you would see a big difference if, for some reason, you opened them. I did toss quite a bit of stuff, and I have plans for more, so, with a small sigh, I'll take all that as a W. 

Goldilocks Zone

"She's just a great big Mama Bear!" someone said of Heidi this morning in a meeting, which had the two of us in stitches when she told me about it this afternoon.

"Was she serious?" I asked.

"I'm not sure," Heidi answered.

That has been one of the unexpected challenges of Heidi's new job. After 30 years at the same school, now she's an unknown quantity to many of her colleagues. But she's a big personality, too, and it's hard to gauge how people are really reacting to her. 

Even so, while mama bear might not be the metaphor I would choose? The more I think about it, the more I can see the analogy (setting aside the mama in the Three Bears, that is). Heidi's professional persona is at times gruff, always strict, but also nurturing, which is just right for the job she has.

Just Literally

"How are your bowel movements?" the nurse practitioner asked me during my annual wellness visit.

"Fine," I reported, then added, "I do have to go right now, though!" 

She laughed at my candor. 

"I'm sorry if that's too much information," I said, "but once when Dr. C was examining me, she said, 'Oh! You're constipated!'" I explained. "But, really? I just had to go. And ever since then, I've felt a little self-conscious."

"Well," she said, continuing her examination, "you are full, though I wouldn't say constipated. I can also feel how tense you are! I know talking about this topic can be a difficult conversation, and no one wants to hear they're full of, well, you know--" she paused. "Poop."

"Even if they are," I agreed.

Go Bills

It's a thing at Heidi's school that the staff sports their team spirit wear the day after a game. Although she's never been into football, Heidi has taken to the tradition. She has a few Bills t-shirts, a couple of hoodies, and she even got some flashy Bills sneakers for her birthday. 

The tricky part is that you can only show your spirit if the team wins, and so Heidi, who likes to plan and prepare her outfits in advance, is left at the mercy of her hometown football team. So much so that on game days (or, worse, evenings), she's either asking me to check the score or checking it herself. Today at the bowling center, she left our lane several times to check the TV at the bar that had the game on. 

Now, after a close win, she has her Bills regalia ready to wear in the morning, and who knows? This intersection of football and fashion may just turn her into a fan!

Cold and Hard

I get it. 

It seems unsustainable to continue making the penny when it costs nearly four cents to manufacture one. Even so, the expected annual saving is only around $56 million a year, or about 16 cents per capita. I guess in the future, we'd have to round that to 15 cents, or three nickels, which by the way cost nearly a dime to make.

Facts.