When We Come to It

It's not in my nature to fret about the future. I'm of the mind that worrying can't prevent misfortune, but it can cause unnecessary stress. And so, although I wasn't surprised by the news early yesterday morning that Heidi's dad had passed away suddenly, I was temporarily at a loss as to what comes next. Oh, there are some must-dos, but so many more could-dos or might-dos as we approach the future without him. 

In the near term? We got Heidi up to Buffalo by noon yesterday, arranged for coverage of commitments and care for our cats, and Lucy and I am off to join the family in a little while. 

I got a deck of animal spirit oracle cards for my birthday, and it's helpful sometimes to draw one of them and lean into the guidance it offers. Today I pulled Brown Bear Spirit and the advice it gives is to take a moment before acting or making any big decisions. As the bear hibernates to prepare for a new year, so this is a time to sit back in contemplation of all that could unfold and leave action for another day.

Right, Mate

I was giving a kid the blues about drinking soda in class today. She thought I wouldn't notice because it was a clear beverage in a clear bottle, but the hiss and the bubbles gave her away. 

"Why do we have that rule?" another student wanted to know.

"We're a water-only school," I explained. "We care about your health!"

"What about tea?" he asked. "That can be healthy."

"Nope," I shook my head. "'Fraid not."

"But you can't be a gentleman if you don't drink tea," he told me.

And for that comment? I had no rejoinder.

Merry Man Boy

"Are you Robin Hood?"I asked a colleague as I passed him on the way into school. He stood with a dapper hat and feather, a sage green shirt with. crisscross tied opening at the throat, and brown pants. There was no bow and arrow, but weapons aren't allowed as part of any costume.

"Peter Pan," he told me. "I'm surprised," he laughed. "You're the first one who hasn't recognized me!"

"Well, where are your tights?" I asked, skeptically.

"I'm grown up Peter," he answered.

"Well, Pete," I said, "You're a dead ringer for Robin Hood."

The Sugar Bugs

A couple of colleagues who are dads of young children stopped by my room during planning time. After we exchanged information about upcoming meetings and field trips, the conversation turned to child-rearing and this new generation we are teaching. 

"I'm not going to say if it's good or bad," one of them stated, "but these kids are different, and it's going to show. Things are going to be different in the next 20 years."

"How so?" I asked him. 

"For one thing, they've never heard the phrase or I'll give you something to cry about," he said. "Now when there's a tantrum we say, Use your words." 

I nodded. "That's a loss. What a great turn of phrase! And kids will never know that gasping choking feeling of trying to stop crying so you wouldn't get spanked." I joked.

"And the word No?" he continued. "They don't know it. It's never No you can't have another gummy. Instead, we say, You don't want the sugar bugs to get you. Too many sugar bugs and you won't grow up big and healthy."

"Sugar bugs?" I laughed. "That's a new one to me.

"Oh, it's everywhere," he said. "These kids are the sugar bug generation."

"I like it!" I replied.  "It's catchy, and I think we can make it stick!"

Does it Show?

45 minutes before the wedding ceremony I was standing on a chair in my suit helping Nadika zip-tie some gorgeous floral arrangements to the trellis. The PVC material of the arbor was bulkier than she had expected, and we were combining the floral zip ties to get them around the frame when one of the officiants approached me. "Are you the venue coordinator?" she asked.

I laughed. "Nope, I'm just one of the guests who happens to know the florist!"

She was surprised. "You look so in charge," she explained.

"Just helpful," I told her, "but I do like to be in charge. Maybe that's what you were responding to!"

Watch Out Terry!

Many years ago, at a time when I kept careful track of students’ independent reading choices and progress, I was going through the weekly routine of a check-in and mini-conference. On those days I would record what each kid was reading, what page they were on, and ask a couple of comprehension questions in the form of a conversation about their book. The method was effective, whether I had read the book myself or not, and I learned a lot about adolescent literature, both current and classic. It also helped that the students were required to have their books with them.

One day, I asked a student what she was reading, and she told me the title of the book was Watch Out Terry! a book I had never heard of. This particular girl was not always a committed reader, and I had reason to doubt her truthfulness. I asked a few questions about plot and character, and her convoluted replies did nothing to reassure me.

“I never heard of that book,” I finally told her. “Does it even exist?”

She looked at me appraisingly and accepted the challenge. “Yes,” she insisted. “I was reading it this morning.”

“Can I see it?” I asked.

“I don’t have it,” she replied in a dismissive tone, as if I was crazy for asking.

“Where is it?” I rejoined with a bit of an edge in my voice, because truthfully, she was pushing my buttons.

“In my locker,” she shrugged.

“Let’s go get it,” I said.

Impressively, her eyes widened only the tiniest bit, and she stood right up and said okay.

Of course it wasn’t in her locker, or anywhere else, because the book did not exist. The fact that she lied so brazenly made me mad, though, and I wrote up the incident in detail, and she received some consequences from the assistant principal. Yeah. I showed her.

A month or two later that particular student ended up being identified as emotionally disabled, and she was put in Heidi’s class, a program with the highest level of support for kids who needed it.

Whenever I remember this incident now, it always makes me think of how much I have changed. If the same thing happened again, there is no way I would take a kid to their locker just to prove that I knew they were lying. It’s a dumb waste of time that can be avoided by building relationships with students so that they don’t feel like they need to lie to you, and showing a little grace when they do.

Compressed Schedule

We are going out of town for a wedding tomorrow, and even though we will be back on Sunday, such an event puts a serious cramp in our weekend errand routine. 

To compensate a bit, I stayed at school until 4 trying to get a jump on next week, then I dashed through the deserted hallways and out into the warm, second summer afternoon. In my car I headed off to pick up an order I’d placed and find a storage bin to organize a few things. Next I stopped at Target for some staples and cleaning supplies, before going to find a nail salon to get my toe nails done for the sparkly sandals that go with my outfit. 

And that’s where I am now— multitasking, writing my daily post and enjoying a spa pedi. I suppose there could be worse ways to spend a Friday afternoon.