Zero Sum

"Give me my pencil!" demanded one of my students of the girl next to her.

"Her classmate looked appalled. "Give me my pencil," she demanded in return.

Both girls were talking about the same pencil, an inexpensive, bright green mechanical job.

I intervened. "Whose pencil is it?" I asked with authority.

"Mine!" they chorused.

Considering the impossibility of their stories both being true and the distraction their dispute was causing the class, I asked them to step outside for a moment to work it out. A minute later I joined them. "What have you decided?" I asked sternly.

"We've decided we are going to look back on this and laugh," one of them told me.

"Mm hmm," I said. "Well, whose pencil is it?"

"Mine!" they both insisted.

Maybe they should run for congress.

When Life Gives You Beet Shreds...

Make red sauerkraut!

Let the lacto-bacchanalia begin.

As Vegan as You Wanna Be

Years ago, my friend Leah joked about becoming a semi-vegan. "I think I could do it," she said, "as long as I could have bacon." It turns out, Leah was ahead of the curve. No less renowned foodie than Mark Bittman recently published VB6: Eat Vegan Before 6 PM to Lose Weight and Restore Your Health... for Good, chronicling his own flexible compromise with veganism.

Certainly, I eat more healthy since Heidi's gone vegan. If I had to guess, I'd say upwards of 75% of my diet is animal free and plant strong, but there's no question that I relish that other 25%.

Cooking for other people adds another challenge to finding that middle ground. For example, tonight was Emily's birthday dinner, and so as I planned the menu, I was of two minds. What would everyone enjoy? and What could Heidi eat? 

In the end, the meal I prepared was vegan, except for the parts that weren't. We had potato and pea quesadillas, black lentils with roasted butternut squash coins and green harissa, and for the carnivores among us, crispy slices of braised pork shoulder. Dessert was a duo of mini creme caramel (not vegan) and tiny dark chocolate pot de creme (vegan!), served with balsamic figs and raspberries.

Not a bad compromise, eh?

Come Together Right Now

On Facebook, NPR asks, "What's the best thing that happened to you this week?"

First of all, NPR, I would like to thank you for redirecting my thinking towards the positive and away from the meh.

And now, I am pleasantly surprised that I have a few things to choose from, but the BEST thing would have to be seeing my brother and sister-in-law, talking to my mom, and face-timing my sister and her family, all within 22 hours.

A Little Bird

Since last week I have been live tweeting snippets of overheard dialog along with my own acerbic (yet incredibly accurate) observations of the meetings I have attended.

I like this outlet for my restless (and let's be honest, critical) mind.

#teachingideas #schooloftracey

Fifth Annual RSVP

Wow! We've been doing this a while!

As in past years, I gave the students a writing prompt today to get a baseline of their writing skills. Their pieces will be scored holistically using a modified version of the state rubric. (Shout out to Roula! We're still using your materials.) We'll give them another prompt in early June to measure their progress for the year.

The topic was the same as it has been the last four years:

Your principal wants to invite a celebrity speaker to your school. Think about the celebrity you would choose to speak; then write a letter to persuade your principal to invite this person. Be sure to include convincing reasons and details to support your choice.

And with the largest margin of victory ever, despite the government shut-down:

President Obama (He earned a full 13% of the suggestions, which is also impressive given the wide open field.)

Mr. Obama was followed by his wife,

Michelle Obama (6%)

and then with a couple of vote a piece,

Gabby Douglas
Justin Bieber
Lebron James
Lionel Messi
Dexter King
Cristian Ronaldo
Macklemore
Rick Riordan
Beyonce

and the rest, quite an interesting bunch of folks themselves:

Hope Solo
Katy Perry
Taylor Swift
Lulu Delacar
Michael Jordan
Drew Brees
Robert Griffin III
Michele Leonhart
Stephen Zeitels
Phil Mickelson
Johnny Depp
Lana Del Rey
Alex Morgan
Bobby Hill
Abby Wambach
Nelson Mandela
Morgan Freeman
Suzanne Collins
Jay-Z
Asap Rocky
Kobe Bryant
FloRida
Hugh Jackman
Shakira
Big Time Rush
Dwight Howard
Adam Sandler
Roblox Committee
Jackie Chan
Austin Mahone

Always on Best Behavior

As I go about my business in this big city small town, I am used to being hailed by students and former students alike, pausing in my errands to greet them and their friends and families. I try to be unfailingly friendly.

Years ago I broke the habit of honking at anyone in anger; it was after an aggressive driver flipped me off and zoomed ahead of me to brake suddenly. Clearly dissatisfied with my driving, she had a chance to explain herself to me in detail 10 minutes later when I was introduced as her summer school supervisor.

Cussing in public has been a little harder to give up; I like to think I use profanity effectively with a deliberate wink to its shock value, but other people probably have a different opinion.

Tonight though, I left the grocery store scratching my head a bit. I was searching for tortillas when I heard a clarion voice call, "Ms. S!" I felt the corners of my mouth lift in their public smile as I looked up to greet the young person behind the voice.

"Hello..." I started before realizing I had no idea who I was talking to. She was a bubbly kid of middle school age, but I am quite sure we have never been introduced.

"Mom! This is Ms. S. She's a teacher at my school!" the girl continued with impeccable manners.

"Pleased to meet you," I said, shaking her hand.

"What do you teach?" she asked.

"Sixth grade English," I answered.

"But... not on the Stingrays?" she said.

"No! She's a Dolphin," her daughter said. "My friend Maddie has her."

I shrugged and nodded.

"Nice to meet you. Have a nice evening," the mom said, and I was off free to go. Having found my tortillas, I cast a bit of a guilty look over my shoulder and turned down the wine and beer aisle.