S is for So Long

and thanks for everything, Bingo! We'll miss you.

Life Lesson: I don't know. It's hard to find a lesson in loss.

R is for Remorseless

My email pinged at around 10 last night alerting me to the fact that one of my students had shared a document. It turned out that it was the candy thief herself. Here is what she wrote:

I am so sorry that I stole candy from your tin thing. But well first let me tell you what happened. M. and E. dared me to. I know I shouldn’t have listened to them. Now I learned my lesson about stealing something that wasn’t mine. I also didn’t want to turn myself in because I thought that you were going to yell at me and make me sad. I am really emotional you know. Also I heard you were going to write me a reformer. I truly deserve it so I don’t blame you. I am nervous for tomorrow because you might put me out of the hallway in front of the class and tell you what happened. So that is why I am writing this letter. Also I was going to tell you that a few weeks back I saw M. and E. steal candy, too. I mean I was going to tell you but I was nervous to because you might think I had some, too. Once again I am truly sorry and I would do anything to make it up to you. Please type back no later than today.

I closed the document and went to bed.

Life Lesson: Sincere apologies do not include the word but.

Q is for Quite a Day

It couldn't have been more than 2 minutes that I stepped a few feet away from my room to answer a colleague's question. I didn't think twice about leaving my class; they were all busily working on an assignment, and there were only about ten minutes left in the period.

Still, when I returned, there was something off about the vibe in the room. I wish I could be more specific; were they too quiet? Too fidgety? A little too involved in the papers on their tables? I'm not sure, but I felt a bit wary and very alert when I sat down at my desk. A student popped out of her seat and moved quickly to the bookcase to my right; mumbling something about finding a book, she banged into the candy tin I keep there.

My suspicions mounted. "Did someone take candy from the can while I was out of the room?" I asked. The chorus of It wasn't me was as good as a yes, and I frowned.

I'm a big fan of the Dateline feature, My Kid Would Never Do That, and later when I thought about the whole thing, I realized how similar this situation was to some of the quandaries they set up for the kids on the show. In fact, we have used some of their segments on bullying, racism, and cheating with the Tolerance Club.

I could almost hear the promo: A student brazenly steals from the teacher, and the other kids in the room are thrust into an ethical dilemma. Do they snitch or go along? The stakes are raised when an adult discovers the misdeed and confronts the group. What will they do?

"Do you mean to tell me that I can't trust you to watch out for my stuff if I have to leave the room for a minute? Really?" I accused my class. "I'm disappointed."

I saw a few sheepish looks being exchanged. "She's right," one student whispered to the guy next to him. They made eye contact with me.

"I'll talk to you after class," the other one, who happens to be a member of the Tolerance Club, said quietly.

The bell rang, and, seeing those boys stay behind, some students made a quick exit, but some others joined them at my desk to tell me what happened and expose the culprit. Just like on TV, when they saw someone else standing up, they were encouraged to do the right thing, too.

Life Lesson: Bystander or upstander? The peer pressure is intense.

P is for Patricia Says, "Hi!"

Or was it Ann?

Eight years ago, I taught one of a pair of identical twins. She was a nice enough girl; smart and conscientious, and a good writer, too, but there were days when she was really out of it. Since her grades were fine, I let it go. I chalked it up to early adolescence and dismissed her confusion.

When I was in sixth grade myself, my best friends were identical twins. Lois and Laura lived next door, and a week or two after they moved in, it seemed ridiculous that anyone considered them identical. They were soooo different in both appearance and personality that none of us neighborhood kids ever got them mixed up. The same could not be said for adults who didn't know them, and we laughed at their confusion.

Thirty years later, it was definitely a challenge for me to discriminate between Patricia and Ann. I rarely saw them together, and I just didn't get to spend enough time with either of them to get to know their distinguishing features. I was tempted to believe that they were more identical than Lois and Laura, but their friends assured me that they were easy to tell apart. To be honest? I guess I deserved it, but the kids kind of mocked my confusion.

Late in the year, it became apparent how much. "You know Ann and Patricia switch places all the time, right?" some well-meaning student asked me.

It took a moment for the significance to sink in, but I laughed when I realized all the times that ditzy Patricia must have been Ann.

Later I wondered why they bothered. It must have been so stressful to be in a situation where you could have been busted at any moment. Their classmates were totally in on the joke, and as helpful as they were, they might have given them away just as easily. I guess the thrill was worth the risk.

I have their little brother in my class right now. His sisters are home from college (They both go to the same university-- I wonder if they switch classes there... I'm guessing no.) and today he told me that Patricia says, "Hi!"

"Was it Patricia or Ann?" I asked. He frowned, and for just a beat I enjoyed his confusion.

Then I told him what pranksters his sisters were. He was delighted.

Life Lesson: Appearances can be deceiving.

O is for Oeufs à la Diable

A longtime colleague is retiring at the end of the year, and tomorrow is our school celebration of her career. Since she is a sixth grade teacher, the sixth grade teams were asked to provide food, and so we decided on a picnic theme, which is both appropriate and wishful thinking for this time of the year.

Oh, we'll have red and white checked table cloths and li'l picnic baskets on every table, and there will be fried chicken and potato salad and deviled eggs and watermelon and sweet tea and lemonade. It promises to be a very nice event.

Today the other team leader and I were informally toting up the receipts-- it's not inexpensive to provide food for 75+. Even so, I laughed when I shared my own out of pocket. "Well, eggs were on sale for 97 cents a dozen, so I figure with everything? It'll be five bucks."

"Don't forget the labor," she was kind enough to remind me.

After peeling those eggs? Believe me; I won't. But they turned out great!

Life Lesson: It's the party, not the price point.

N is for Nope

Will we get a snack?
Can we chew gum?
Can we...
    play games
    take a nap
    go outside
when we're done?

These are the questions my students have about taking the high-stakes standardized tests that start tomorrow. Never mind that they never get a snack at that time; we don't allow gum anywhere in the school, but especially not in the computer labs; and planning fun activities at the end of anything encourages some kids to rush through and finish quickly.

But why shouldn't they dash to complete their test? In middle school, the consequences of these assessments are not borne by the students, but rather their schools and teachers. It is a disconnect that, despite their many questions, most sixth graders do not understand.

Life Lesson: Psst! Kid! I'll give you a granola bar if you pass this test.

M is for the Many Things She Gave Me

One of my mother's many, many charms is that she knows a song for every occasion, and she is never afraid to sing it.

Here's one she taught us years ago:

M is for the Many things she gave me.
O means only that she’s growing old.
T is for the tears she shed to save me.
H is for her heart of purest gold.
E is for her eyes with love light shining.
R means right, and right she’ll always be!

Put them all together, they spell MOTHER, 
a word that means the world to me.

Although personally, I feel that the second line needs some work, overall? I like it.

Life Lesson: I love you, Mom!