P is for Patricia Says, "Hi!"

Or was it Ann?

Eight years ago, I taught one of a pair of identical twins. She was a nice enough girl; smart and conscientious, and a good writer, too, but there were days when she was really out of it. Since her grades were fine, I let it go. I chalked it up to early adolescence and dismissed her confusion.

When I was in sixth grade myself, my best friends were identical twins. Lois and Laura lived next door, and a week or two after they moved in, it seemed ridiculous that anyone considered them identical. They were soooo different in both appearance and personality that none of us neighborhood kids ever got them mixed up. The same could not be said for adults who didn't know them, and we laughed at their confusion.

Thirty years later, it was definitely a challenge for me to discriminate between Patricia and Ann. I rarely saw them together, and I just didn't get to spend enough time with either of them to get to know their distinguishing features. I was tempted to believe that they were more identical than Lois and Laura, but their friends assured me that they were easy to tell apart. To be honest? I guess I deserved it, but the kids kind of mocked my confusion.

Late in the year, it became apparent how much. "You know Ann and Patricia switch places all the time, right?" some well-meaning student asked me.

It took a moment for the significance to sink in, but I laughed when I realized all the times that ditzy Patricia must have been Ann.

Later I wondered why they bothered. It must have been so stressful to be in a situation where you could have been busted at any moment. Their classmates were totally in on the joke, and as helpful as they were, they might have given them away just as easily. I guess the thrill was worth the risk.

I have their little brother in my class right now. His sisters are home from college (They both go to the same university-- I wonder if they switch classes there... I'm guessing no.) and today he told me that Patricia says, "Hi!"

"Was it Patricia or Ann?" I asked. He frowned, and for just a beat I enjoyed his confusion.

Then I told him what pranksters his sisters were. He was delighted.

Life Lesson: Appearances can be deceiving.

O is for Oeufs à la Diable

A longtime colleague is retiring at the end of the year, and tomorrow is our school celebration of her career. Since she is a sixth grade teacher, the sixth grade teams were asked to provide food, and so we decided on a picnic theme, which is both appropriate and wishful thinking for this time of the year.

Oh, we'll have red and white checked table cloths and li'l picnic baskets on every table, and there will be fried chicken and potato salad and deviled eggs and watermelon and sweet tea and lemonade. It promises to be a very nice event.

Today the other team leader and I were informally toting up the receipts-- it's not inexpensive to provide food for 75+. Even so, I laughed when I shared my own out of pocket. "Well, eggs were on sale for 97 cents a dozen, so I figure with everything? It'll be five bucks."

"Don't forget the labor," she was kind enough to remind me.

After peeling those eggs? Believe me; I won't. But they turned out great!

Life Lesson: It's the party, not the price point.

N is for Nope

Will we get a snack?
Can we chew gum?
Can we...
    play games
    take a nap
    go outside
when we're done?

These are the questions my students have about taking the high-stakes standardized tests that start tomorrow. Never mind that they never get a snack at that time; we don't allow gum anywhere in the school, but especially not in the computer labs; and planning fun activities at the end of anything encourages some kids to rush through and finish quickly.

But why shouldn't they dash to complete their test? In middle school, the consequences of these assessments are not borne by the students, but rather their schools and teachers. It is a disconnect that, despite their many questions, most sixth graders do not understand.

Life Lesson: Psst! Kid! I'll give you a granola bar if you pass this test.

M is for the Many Things She Gave Me

One of my mother's many, many charms is that she knows a song for every occasion, and she is never afraid to sing it.

Here's one she taught us years ago:

M is for the Many things she gave me.
O means only that she’s growing old.
T is for the tears she shed to save me.
H is for her heart of purest gold.
E is for her eyes with love light shining.
R means right, and right she’ll always be!

Put them all together, they spell MOTHER, 
a word that means the world to me.

Although personally, I feel that the second line needs some work, overall? I like it.

Life Lesson: I love you, Mom!

L is for Let's Go Already!

I am typing this very quickly, because my dog is whining at my ankles. A few minutes ago we asked her if she wanted to go to a party. She cocked her head in that cutest-dog-ever way she has, and when we elaborated, Do you want to see Sonic? Riley? Treat? Bill? Emily? She began barking and dancing around.

Too bad Heidi still needed to change, and I needed a quick trip to the powder room. Isabel whined and barked outside the door, and she is waiting very impatiently by the front door now. Fortunately, I hear Heidi on the stairs, and we will be on our way in just a second.

Life Lesson: Dogs live in the now, and now means NOW!

K is for Keeping Secrets

I have a colleague who is reading Gone With the Wind for the first time. She brings her kindle to the lunch room every day just to grab a few paragraphs of that tasty southern-fried drama, but the irresistibility of the tale and the fact that she is loving it seems to surprise her.

Not me. My mom gave me a copy of GWTW when I was 12, which coincided with one of the theatrical re-releases of the film, and she promised to take me to see the movie when I finished the book. It was definitely one of the most rewarding literary and cinematic experiences I've known.

So, it's fun to talk about the story, but since she hasn't seen the movie, either (!), it's a challenge not to give anything too important away. We were having one of our veiled conversations when another teacher on the team entered. She listened for a minute and then exclaimed, "Oh! Are you talking about Gone With the Wind?"

We nodded.

She turned to me. "You mean that part when Scarlett kills that guy who comes to their house and Melanie comes down with the sword?"

I shrugged at my friend apologetically. "Yep."

Life Lesson: If you want to keep something a secret, it's best to not speak of it all.

J is for Journalist

We have reached the personal profile portion of our English class. This is an assignment that I have experimented with off and on for the last six or seven years, but it truly came into its own last year, when after three solid months of blogging, my students were ready to turn that introspection out. (Plus, they had created quite a body of work for anyone who might profile them to use as a reference.)

The way it works for us is that each student is randomly assigned a classmate to profile. There are at least two interviews, and the first is a basic get-to-know-you opportunity for which the journalist prepares a list of questions designed to uncover a lot of information. After reviewing the notes and reading some of their subject's writing on our online community for background, journalists must narrow the focus to find an "angle" for the profile piece. Next is a second interview with a much more focused set of questions. Our young journalists must also interview friends, classmates, and teachers about their subjects.

The final product is a 500 word profile with a clear focus and theme. (Think "life lesson" because that's our frame of reference at this point.) It is a non-fiction research piece that exposes students to primary sources and demands analysis, synthesis, and artistry, but those are not its greatest strengths.

Life Lesson: The kids love it!