Well, If You Put it THAT Way

I was feeling impatient with my pasty white fellow guests as we tried to check out of the hotel this morning. The place was built some time in the early 80's and consists of studio- style rooms with kitchenettes and balconies. Each unit is independently owned and therefore individually furnished and decorated, and let's just say that our studio was a little dated and worn. I don't think that was true of all the accommodations, but the establishment itself had a bit of a cut-rate air to it. Take, for example, the free continental breakfast for two: an apple, an orange, a plastic-wrapped cheese Danish, and a pop tart, all stuffed into a small shopping bag. It reminded me of a cross between the bag lunches they used to give us in high school and the free breakfast my brother, sister, and I got in an economical hotel we stayed at in Israel: hard boiled eggs, breakfast treats, and tang.

The entire complex in Orlando had that sort of international bargain feel to it. I think Virgin Atlantic cut some kind of deal with the management, because the majority of folks that we ran into seemed to be solidly middle class British and Irish, hence the pallor I mentioned at the top of the post. There were several Asian families as well, not to mention many Spanish-speaking groups. It was kind of cool, but a little baffling to think that these people had traveled so far to visit... Orlando.

Well, that was my frame of mind, anyway, this morning in the 90 degree heat as I dodged groups of hotel patrons marching resolutely to this or that shuttle bus or pool, all the while trying to load the car. I was still a little grumbly as we made a last stop at the Whole Foods grocery to stock up on snacks before getting on the road to Atlanta. As we exited the store, a man approached us and handed us each a little card labeled "compassion exercise." in halting English, he asked us to read it.

The directions were simple: Choose a person who is a stranger to you and direct the following thoughts at them:

Just like me, this person is seeking some happiness in his/her life

Just like me, this person is trying to avoid suffering in his/her life

Just like me, this person has known sadness, loneliness, and despair.

Just like me, this person is seeking to fulfill his/her needs.

Just like me, this person is learning about life.

That put a different spin on my morning.

Five Lessons of the Day

Mango-avocado sushi rolls make an excellent breakfast.

Those little nylon bags with the strings that you can wear on your back are pretty damn handy.

They make child leashes that are like plush harnesses complete with a stuffed animal that rides piggyback.

Simulations are not as good as rides. Corollary: Old rides are not as good as simulations, but they have a certain nostalgic charm. (Ahem Jaws and ET)

It's a total buzz kill when the people ahead of you on the moving sidewalk stand still and block your way, especially when the people on foot pass you by.

Respecting the Line

Those theme park people really know their business. It was just a little after 8 AM that the shuttle from our hotel dropped us off at Universal Studios. Despite my misgivings, I felt my heart rate rise with the escalator that lifted us to the breezeway bridging the parking garages and the "City Walk." Moving sidewalks couldn't get us there quickly enough, and even in the harsh daylight, the neon lights were vibrant and exciting as loud music pounded from huge speakers and Carrie Underwood sang on a ginormous LCD screen overhead. We were practically giddy as we were swept along with the tide of tourists eager to enter Islands of Adventure.

And so the day progressed from there. Every detail in the park is well planned: the bathrooms are plentiful and clean, the lines are well marked with estimated wait times, and the baffles are all shaded, or even better, air-conditioned. Most rides with long waits have introductory sections that are actually an integral part of the attraction, for example Harry Potter's Forbidden Journey turnstiles you through the Great Hall, past the talking portrait marking the entry to the Gryffindor common room, and through Dumbledore's office, too. If it's possible, it almost seemed like our line moved a little too fast.

To be sure, it's a fine line between cheesy and cool, or between weird and cool, or creepy and cool, or almost anything and cool, but it is amazing how the most successful theme parks do cartwheels up and down those fine lines, ricocheting between meeting, disappointing, and, yes, even defying expectations to deliver something cool to almost everyone.

Dissatisfied Customer

I just wrote three decent paragraphs and lost them to the profoundly flawed wifi access that this cheap hotel provides. To be sure, I had a much more generous perspective on the place before their idiotic Internet access caused me to lose my writing. Now? I calls them like I sees them:

Run down, tacky, two-bit, tourist trap.

Yeah! Take that hotel!

Hi There Summer of 2011

657 miles
Torrential rain through South Carolina
Blood, Bones, & Butter
Oceanfront motel on Jekyll Island
Fried Shrimp for dinner
Next stop, Orlando

It's on!

World Cup Fever

Was it really twelve years ago that the US Women's team beat China (in a penalty shoot out, no less) to win the World Cup? Mia Hamm, Briana Scurry, Brandy Chastain, I remember that summer so clearly for a lot of reasons, but the FIFA Women's tournament was definitely one of them.

Today I saw the first round match-up between the US and North Korea, and watching the contest sparked all those old memories. There also may have been a certain vibe that was missing in the two German-dominated contests since '99. I'm usually not "that" nationalistic sports fan, but call me crazy: I have a good feeling for team USA in this one.

(And, yes, there's an app for it.)

There's an App for That

This summer I intend to go through a lot of my stuff and get rid of things I no longer use or need. I promised myself to dispose of at least one bag a week, but as of 6 PM this evening with a scheduled vacation departure of early morning the day after tomorrow, all my junk was securely gathering dust in its usual place.

On Wednesday, we are going to Universal Studios in Orlando to meet family. Before agreeing to this trip, I had no idea how complicated such a "classic" American vacation could be. Take for instance ticket levels and pricing. There are two separate parks, and a visitor has the choice of single park or multi-park access for one, two, three, or four days. Then there is the express pass; that will provide access to a separate, faster line for most rides (except the most popular). There are two types of those-- one will let you in the express line once per ride, but the other gives you unlimited times through. There are also meal plans and discounts on other area attractions that come with some tickets, but not others. Then, there's lodging...

It's hardly surprising that there are numerous websites devoted to how best to spend your time and money while visiting this particular part of Orlando, and what I also discovered tonight is that, yeah, there's an app for that. I have one that will give me a description and directions to any attraction in the park as well as the wait-time for the line there.

I think that will definitely come in handy, even beyond eliminating the need to refold those troublesome maps they always give you at the entrance of the park. In fact, it's mere existence has already helped me meet my summer cleaning goal. After downloading the "Universal Orlando" app, I turned to the bookshelf in our spare room and summarily tossed most of the travel guides and maps that I've been hanging on to for when we go back to Paris, the Badlands, San Diego, etc., because I realized I don't need them anymore... the most up-to-date info on my future destinations will be available on my phone.