TYTO

There's a big part of me that won't allow myself to get emotionally involved with gay rights issues. I can't bear the setbacks-- sometimes I have a hard time separating the political from the personal, and it really stings when people vote to curtail or reject my civil rights. In those situations I always expect the worst, and so far I've rarely been disappointed. (Yeah, I'm talking to you, Maine.)

Proposition 8 in CA is another good example of this. The post-election analysis showing that it was Obama supporters who pushed this gay marriage ban over the top in 2008 still makes me a little weepy. (It also underscores my distrust of the current administration; well, that and Rick Warren's invocation, not to mention the race to the top, but that's a bunch of other blog posts.)

Given all that, I was surprised by the distinct twinge of optimism I felt today when I heard of the federal court ruling overturning Prop 8. I know it's a small victory, but more than that, it's a big step toward a Supreme Court hearing on the issue and maybe even some federal resolution, so that at least I'll know, one way or the other, what the law of this land is when it comes to my family.

And now four words I never thought I'd type: Thank you Ted Olson.

She Meant Freak in a Good Way

Today is our neighbor Savannah's birthday. She's four, and one of the presents we got her was a floor puzzle of the U.S. We chose the gift out of family tradition. Our older nephews had such a puzzle when they were very young, and they loved it. In fact when he was barely three, Treat used to identify many of the pieces by name as he went along. 

I taught summer school that year for eighth graders who had failed world geography. On the last day of the term, their grandfather brought the boys by to say hello. Looking around the classroom, Treat made a beeline for the puzzles and started his routine: We live in Virginia. Here's biiiiig Texas. There's Minnesota-- Grandma Fran lives there. That's California! and so it went until he fitted the last piece in place a few minutes later. I looked up and noticed a couple of the students staring at him incredulously. I knew that they had struggled with that puzzle all summer long.

One of the girls made eye contact with me. "No offense," she said, "but your nephew is a freak."

The Ant's Tale

The girls called their parents tonight to fill them in on all the fun we've had in the last 36 hours. It's always interesting to hear a shared experience described by another person in the group. For example, today we went hiking on the bluffs at Great Falls National Park. It was a lovely day, especially for August: a little overcast and therefore not too hot. Although the clouds threatened, the rain held off, which was good for us. The park was not too crowded, so most of the time we had the trails and the rocks and the river to ourselves.

It's our habit to pack lunch and pick a place with a nice view to stop for a picnic, and today the girls chose a spot high above Mather Gorge to eat. The river was super low, and a light breeze kept most of the bugs away. There were a couple of industrious ants on the rocks where we sat, though, and as we packed up to continue on our way, we noticed that one of them had found an awfully big crumb and was struggling to carry it off. As she zigged and zagged staggering beneath the weight of her delicious morsel, I amused myself by narrating her progress in first person. No worries girls, I got this... whoa, oops, ta da! I meant to do that! and so on, I channeled her chatter, ant to aunt, until we walked on, leaving her story unfinished.

In the rest of the hiking, swimming, cooking, singing, dancing, and game playing that completed our day, that moment was lost to me until I heard Delaney giggling on the phone with her parents about it, and then I laughed a little, too, and hoped that the ant made it home with her treasure.

Back to Bedrock

A few years ago I got the first three seasons of The Flintstones on DVD for my birthday. I wanted it out of pure nostalgia-- as a child growing up in the sixties and early seventies I spent countless hours with Fred, Barney, Wilma, Betty, Pebbles, Bam Bam, and even Kazoo. Every day after school we watched The Flintstones, I Love Lucy, Speed Racer, and/or Gilligan's Island, and every episode was like a neighborhood friend-- one line of dialog would let you know that it was the one about the boy scout jamboree, the seaweed fricasee, the Twitch, the mink coats, whatever.

Soon after they arrived today, the girls had their first disagreement. It was about which of our DVDs they might watch first. six-year-old Delaney wanted James and the Giant Peach, but ten-year-old Allyn favored Mulan. In an attempt to mediate, I tried the winner-take-all approach of holding their selections behind my back and having them pick right or left, but they wanted more of a compromise or even a consensus, so we took a broader look at their choices. Somehow, they agreed upon The Flintstones. At first they thought it was the live action film of a few years ago, but even when they understood that misconception, they were okay with watching a few episodes of the original series although (or because?) neither had ever seen it.

Know what? They love it. We are totally going to have a yabba dabba doo week.

Awww-- Do I Have To?

Sometimes it takes a galvanizing event to get you off your butt and to make you do all those little things you've been putting off. Such was the case for us today. After a June and July spent teaching, packing up our rooms for the summer, having the pleasure of both of our moms and Kyle and Josh visit, horseback riding, vacationing in Maine and Minnesota, after all of that, tomorrow August 1, is the day when the god-daughters arrive for a week. We haven't seen the girls in a while, and we're really looking forward to spending some time with them, but the oldest has allergies to dogs and dust mites, among other things, so the focus of today was cleaning and dusting and vacuuming.

When we began it seemed like a huge chore, if not a downright imposition. We have a weekly house cleaner-- and usually we feel that her labor and a swipe-swipe here and there is enough to prepare for most guests, which is why we pay her. Grumbling a bit, we split the house upstairs and down and went to work. Down here, we still had stuff that wasn't put properly away from each of our trips, not to mention two piles of mail from the time we were gone. Then there were things that had been waiting to be hung up, clutter on the deck to be dealt with, an air filter to change, and so on. Once we got going, there were magazines to toss, the front stoop to sweep and outside window sills to wipe. In the end, lots of odd jobs that just never seemed worth doing by themselves got done today.

As a result we are tired but satisfied. Any resentment is long gone-- in fact we're kind of glad we had to do it, AND we're going to have a great time with the girls.

Like a Fish Needs a Bicycle

I saw the movie Salt today. To tell you the truth, my expectations were sort of low because of the reviews, but I like a kick-ass movie in the summer, and I also like Angelina Jolie, as nutty as she is at times. I was far from disappointed. To me, Salt was the perfect summer action film. The main character, Evelyn Salt, is the child of a champion wrestler and a chess master (c'mon- you know that's awesome), which makes her an unbeatable strategist and fighter (I know, right?). Kind of like Kevin Costner's character in No Way Out, she finds herself in a thorny predicament not of her own making. Even so, over the course of the film, she demonstrates love and loyalty, and she never kills a single person who isn't an enemy of the state with blood on his hands, although she does have to injure and disable a few others who get in her way. I totally have my fingers crossed for a sequel.

Last week we also saw The Kids Are All Right, which is being marketed as a light summer comedy. (Yeah, and Finland is on the way to Orr.) I found this movie very painful to watch, despite (or because of) the fact that it is full of excellent performances: the actors create complex characters in a difficult situation who are hard to sympathize with.

Both movies feature strong women and the men who would walk all over them and take everything that they've worked for, given half a chance. I don't think it's much of a spoiler to say that in the end of each the women do prevail, but those meddling guys who think they're so entitled really make me mad.

Summer Simile

Every summer is busy, but this one seems even more so. Our house guests and trips are like stones across a river: starting in June we hop from one to another until we reach September on the other side.