Monday, December 10, 2018

Wisdom of the Dove

I did my best.

We all did, in the parent-student-teacher conference we held this afternoon. We started off positive: You're not in trouble. We just want you to be more successful. How can we help you? But the child shrugged us off. Mm Hmm. Sure. Whatever.

The parent in this case was a great aunt, someone who clearly cared for him, but was not his mom. She's been away somewhere that he asked the counselor not to share with the team. And he is not only oppositional, but also defiant and ever-so detached. He is really good at being hateful and unlikable, but that's how he controls the uncontrollable terrain of authority and relationships.

We tried, listing his strengths, asking about his goals, offering all manner of assistance, keeping even and even positive for 40 minutes, but his final words were "I won't promise anything."

When the last person left my room, I did something I rarely do: I reached for the chocolate. Someone had recently added a big bag of Doves to the common candy can we keep in my room since I am not usually tempted. I unwrapped a square of milk chocolate truffle and let it melt in my mouth as I flipped over the foil wrapper to see my fortune. Be the rainbow in someone else's storm cloud, it read.

I'll keep trying.

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