Otherwise Known As

"If you all post your writing before the end of the class we can do something fun," I offered to my intervention group of reluctant writers this morning.

"Like what? Play Fortnite?" asked one guy with a doubtful snicker.

"Maybe," I shrugged, "you can show me how to play."

As fingers flew across keyboards, I turned to the student doing her senior experience. "Another example of being a life-long learner," I laughed, "and of course, trying to engage students by meeting them where they are."

A few minutes later we were downloading the free version of the game on a laptop so that we could all see it on the interactive whiteboard. "You have to choose a user name," one of the boys advised me.

"How about English Master?" I suggested. "It's probably taken though."

The students exchanged doubtful glances. "Yah," said one, "I don't really think so."

Sure enough, my selection was available. "I can't believe it!" I marveled. "It's such an awesome name!"

"No kid would want that name!" a student laughed.

"Well they couldn't have it, anyway," I replied. "They would have to be English Minor!"

2 is for 2 More

It's always a bit of a stunner when the end of the year picks up speed and soon hurtles uncontrollably to its finale. Today as I gave the students an overview of their end-of-the-year activity choices I realized that there are only 2 Wednesdays left, and after tomorrow the same will be so for Thursday, and so on.

And oh! Those days are filled: final this and make-up that, field trips and International Film Fest and field day and more. It's a blessing that the sixth graders haven't realized just how close we are.

Even so, they are definitely not thinking straight. As I went over the features of our "camp" activity choice, (all the fun of summer camp without ever leaving school!) I saw many heads nodding in approval. "You'll play capture the flag, do arts and crafts, make s'mores, watch a movie, and more!" I told them.

One student raised his hand in alarm. "But do we actually have to spend the night??!!"

Time to Calm the Hell Down

Lucy spent the afternoon playing with her friend Beckett at his house. 12-year-old Forrest lives there, too, the last surviving member of a four-pack of Aussies that our friend Sarah had. Beckett loves Lucy, but Forrest, not so much. She's much too rough and tumble for his taste. Fortunately, he has no problem letting her know. If a growl and snap won't do it, then a firm bark will. Sarah calls him the fun police. He's saying, "You rotten kids! Get off my lawn! There's none of that around here after Forrest o'clock!"

Have You Heard?

I had been digging up weeds and roots all morning when the muscle arrived to help me finish putting in my garden. "Watch out for Carly and Simon," I warned Heidi, Josh, and his friend Mo, as they approached the plot. 

"Who?" asked Josh as the two mockingbirds who had been aggressively following me about to grab the worms and grubs I turned over with the soil dive-bombed him, actually skimming the top of his head before landing on the wheel barrow handles.

"Them," I answered. 

The Half of It

As I mopped up a relatively small puddle on the dining room floor yesterday, I wondered where most of the water dripping through our ceiling had gone. Ever the optimist, I shrugged it off with the assumption that it must not have been as big a leak as I originally thought.

Flash forward to this morning when I grabbed a shopping bag with 2 pairs of shorts to return off the back of the dining room chair it had been slung upon. The denim shorts and their labels and tags were sopping wet. Glancing up, I saw that they were directly under the hole in the ceiling.

I guess it was a lucky break. The shorts will dry, and I can still return them when they do, and the floor was spared. And if there had been a glass around? I'm sure that would be half full, too.

Everybody's Got Something

Four hours after he arrived, the third technician scheduled to fix our washer confessed that he had not been successful. The ceiling was already beginning to drip as he mopped his brow, underarms drenched in sweat from taking the unit apart and putting it back together twice.

When he told me about the extra parts he had ordered-- They will arrive in 2-5 days, and then you can call and make another appointment to have the washer fixed-- I was annoyed and frustrated. That time line would make it three plus weeks since we had been able to do laundry. Still, I knew it wasn't his fault: the problem had been misdiagnosed by the first technician and the company had not sent him with a full-time helper.

We haggled over the additional price a bit, and when at last he was ready to go, I asked him if he had many other calls to make before the end of his day. "Yes," he sighed, "I have much more work to do, and... I'm fasting! It's a very long day."

"That's right, it's Ramadan," I replied sympathetically.

His face softened and his shoulders relaxed. "I wish I could have done more to fix your washer," he said.

"I hope your day improves," I told him, and we parted on cordial terms.

Three Rings

I knew there was a problem as I stepped out of the stairwell. One student popped his head out a door at the end of the hallway and another kid a little ahead of me called out, Is she the-- before he was shushed and warned of my presence behind him. The door to the classroom closed quickly, and I caught up with the student in front of me.

"There's no teacher in there, is there?" I asked.

"No," he admitted immediately.

"Let's go," I said, "because that's not allowed."

I opened the door and confronted a circus of sixth graders. Two were tossing a football, one was playing on the SmartBoard, a few were under the tables, a couple more were on them, the rest of the group wandered aimlessly around the small room. "Whoa!" I said, and they froze, wide-eyed.

"Go to the office and tell them that you don't have a teacher," I directed the most responsible kid I saw. I turned to the rest of the group. They were coming back to life, and I wanted to get a little control before they returned to their antics.

"Never close the door if there is not an adult in the room!" I started, "And if your teacher is not here, tell the office immediately!"

"But we're not allowed to leave the classroom without permission," a future debater replied with some serious snark in his tone.

"It's the office," I answered, "I'm sure they'll make an exception when they hear your news."

"Why don't you be our substitute!" another student suggested.

"You don't need a sub," I laughed, "you need a ringmaster!"

Math Test

The room was set for the state math test: I had counted the names on my testing roster and set up the six tables with three seats each, plus extra desks for the additional students. So when a few kids remained standing, I knew there were some in the wrong place. "No worries," I told the group, "I'm going to take attendance, and if you don't hear your name, let me know and we'll send you to the right testing room." The already overly-complicated high-stakes situation was complicated by the fact that there were five kids I've never met in my group.

Once through the list, though, and I pointed two across the hallway, but there was still one student without a seat. "Did everyone hear your name?" I asked with authority (and a touch of impatience),

They assured me they had.

"Look," I said, "I know there's an extra person in here because there are 22 of you on my roster, and there are six tables with three seats each, and then three extra desks, so 6 times 3 is 18, plus 3 is... oops! Never mind," I finished sheepishly, but it was too late.

"Twenty-one!" they cried, clearly ready for the test at hand.

Circadian

I have an 18-year-old former student volunteering in my class for the next few week as part of her high school's "senior experience." M. is planning to study education in college, and is both an excellent writer and a really nice kid. In the two days she's been with me so far, she spent day one observing. (Does it bring you right back to 6th grade? I asked her. A little, she confessed, and if I yawn? It's because I was up late last night.)

On day two, I gave her a choice of jumping in and interacting with the kids, or adding some data to a spreadsheet. Still a bit reticent, she chose the record-keeping chore, which was actually extremely helpful to me. When lunchtime rolled around, I stepped out to use the restroom and returned to my room to find her bag on the table, but no sign of the kid. A little while later the construction out the window drew my attention, and when I walked over there I was startled to find M snoozing on the pillows. I let her sleep until the kids barreled back from recess.

Ready for round two? I asked her, and she hopped right up.

Let's Get Together and Feel All Right

They scheduled a single class period before the state tests started today. Take them outside! some suggested, but that plan is not practical if you know how large groups of sixth graders function. Coordinating 350 kids going out, coming in, sweating, getting water, panting, and using the toilet, not to mention the threatening rain, all made that plan rather unworkable.

Still, physical activity was a good idea given the fact that the students were expected to sit quietly for three hours in order to complete a 37 question test. What to do? I ended up playing some music and having the kids in my room pair up to complete quick physical challenges whenever the song was paused. I took requests and participated myself in high-fiving, jogging in place, and dancing.

We were snaking through the room in a spontaneous Reggae-conga line to Bob Marley when a colleague stopped in to pick up some printing. "It almost makes me wish I had to take the test!" she laughed.

We made eye-contact. "Naaaaah!" we said in unison.

Vocabulary Lesson

About a week ago I overheard an unusual conversation between two sixth grade boys. "What are these?" one asked the other, holding up a pair of scissors.

"Shears!" proclaimed the other boy definitively, and they both laughed uproariously.

Such events are hardly uncommon, and I let it pass, but I was curious when I heard another student say, "Shears!" a few days later.

Not curious enough to ask though, until today. "What are these?" the first boy asked brandishing the scissors once again.

"Shears!" I answered.

He paused. "You know about that?"

"No," I shrugged, "I've just heard you say it several times recently. What are you talking about?"

If I expected something naughty, I couldn't have been further from the truth. "We learned about it in Family and Consumer Science," he told me. "These are scissors," he held out a pair with matching thumb and finger hole, "and these are shears!" He showed me a pair with a round thumb hole and a larger opening for more than just one finger.

"Ohhhhh," I said, impressed. "I did not know that."

I turned to the student intern who started today. "See, Maddy? This is what life-long learning looks like!"

Stranger in a Strange Land

As they challenge themselves to write every day, my students reveal all sorts of interesting details about their lives. "I've never been to the movies before," one wrote this morning. "What's it like?"

This particular kid is not underprivileged, not going to the local cineplex seems like more of a parenting choice for her. She has written extensively of her piano lessons and day trips to museums and hands-on educational expos. I'm not sure they watch TV either.

The other students are often shocked by her lack of familiarity with video games, social media, and other pop cultural experiences, and they never hesitate to try and fill in the gaps for her. Like this morning: "Movies are like going to our school theater with a giant smart board in the front," Another student helpfully replied.

"AND you can get popcorn!" I added.

Uncoordinated

"We'll meet you at the new waterfront," we told Josh, but after paying 20 dollars to park, he was no where to be found.

"I'm down by the water," he texted and then sent his location. He was by the water at the other new waterfront a mile and a half away. After some debate, we sent an Uber, because his account was unfunded since he was robbed at knifepoint a couple weeks ago. (Yes. That's another story.)

"I'll put Hank's Oysters as the destination," I told him, looking up at the big sign to my left, "and we'll meet you in front."

"I'm here!" he texted, except he wasn't. I checked the app. He had been dropped off at the restaurant's other location on Capital Hill.

I sent another Uber. 

A Breath of Fresh Air

It's official-- the middle schoolers have

lost.
their.
minds!

It's May; it's Friday; testing has started; there was an assembly after lunch; it's been raining all week, and I cannot count the number of ridiculous redirections I was forced to make today. Even the kids who are usually super-compliant are pushing the limits. For example, I confiscated the iPad of a straight-A student for showing a picture of a yawning bulldog to anyone who would have a look after three explicit warnings.

After lunch she stopped by my room. "I forgot my iPad here," she told me.

"Forgot?" I repeated skeptically. "You didn't actually have your iPad when the bell rang."

"Oh, yes," she said. "About that? I'm sorry."

I accepted her apology and handed her the device.

She looked me in the eye. "It will never happen again," she promised.

And I believed her. As she walked out of the room, it occurred to me how rare a conversation we had just had. Usually kids want to sulk or argue about how whatever they did was fine in the given situation, but she accepted responsibility for a mistake and promised not to repeat it.

Wow!
Middle school
educator
mind
blown!

Come Again Another Day

It started raining Saturday night and it hasn't really stopped since. With wet weather predicted at least through next Wednesday, my tolerance for drizzle and drench is draining. I'm sure there must be a silver lining somewhere, though, if only because there are so many dang clouds. I'll let you know when I spot it.

Validation

In a week filled with family drama, household catastrophes, and oh, yes, standardized tests, Heidi headed reluctantly to the obedience class that she and Lucy are taking. An hour and a half later she arrived home with bright eyes and a big smile. Seems like both of my girls were at the top of the class today-- each received plenty of praise and positive feed back. Hooray for them!

And really? That's usually all it takes to turn a tough time around, at least for a little while.

Noted.

What a Drip

"Your washer's not leaking, Ma'am," the technician informed me. "The spring is broken and water is splashing over the top." As he spoke, he gestured toward the washer, stripped of its outside panels, the tub swishing nakedly along.

"Are you sure it's not any of the hoses?" I asked dubiously. "There's some water on the floor right there."

"All the hoses are fine," he assured me.

"There's water coming through the ceiling down here again!" Heidi called up.

He went down to check and returned looking alarmed. He turned back to the washer with the flashlight on his phone. "Ma'am," he said, "I have some bad news for you. The whole tub is cracked."

I looked at him and at the washer. "That's a lot of water in there," I said.

And...

it's
still
dripping.

Like it Is

"How come you haven't taken the candle I gave you home yet?" a student asked me this afternoon about the gift he had given me for teacher appreciation week.

"I have it on my desk so I'll remember to do that," I told him. "In fact I'm going to put it in my bag right now, and then every time I use it, I'll think of you..."

He smiled.

"And I'll think That guy was so smart, but he never did his work!" I continued, looking him dead in the eye, as he sat there not working.

His eyes widened and he frowned. "Hey!"

"But you can change my memory right now!" I said, "C'mon over here and get some work done! It would be a shame to ruin that nice candle!"

Sidekick

A rusty-feathered robin startled me more than a few times as I was weeding this morning. Whatever bugs I was turning up were so irresistible that she kept hopping within inches of me. If I could have? I would have put her to work! As it was, a whole flock of her friends took over the plot as I headed out the gate.

Bon appetit mes petits oiseaux!

Hourly

The thought of weeding out the garden and preparing it for planting has been weighing heavily on my mind-- so much so that I have been having anxiety dreams every night. It seems like too huge a job to fit into this busy time of year. This morning, though, when I woke at 5:30 and stayed awake, I decided that I would go to the garden for an hour, no more and no less, before the day hit 90 degrees as it was expected to, and leaving plenty of time for the other things on my to-do list. And my plan worked perfectly. Between 9 and 10 I stacked all the tomato cages and stakes and filled four contractor-sized bags with weeds. I gathered all the pots and milk jugs that had blown into our plot over the winter and placed them neatly on the shelves by the shed so that their owners might claim them. Oh there's a still plenty to do, but it will be less after my hour there tomorrow morning, and I think I'll sleep soundly tonight.

Appreciate It!

The Friday of teacher appreciation week found me dancing with my students in reading class. It was a whimsical combination of Jolly Rancher Challenge and Friday morning silliness. "This is why you're my favorite teacher!" a student said.

"That's just the Macarena talking," I laughed, "but thanks!"

"No really!" he insisted, "And you're my mom's favorite teacher, too!"

Now that was some good news, because kids? Are fickle! But parents? Can make your life easier or harder, and I prefer the former!

Pulling Out the Stops

I bought it on a whim.

Ten delicious flavors boasted the bag of Salt Water Taffy sitting by the checkout line. Why not? I thought, It might make a nice change from Jolly Ranchers.

Oh my! The taffy was a hit. Soft and chewy and just sweet enough to please any sixth grader who was able to complete my challenge today. "My mom used to make taffy for us," I told one student. "You have to pull it while its still warm to get the texture right. It was fun!"

Just a few minutes ago I found myself searching for taffy recipes online. Reading directions is important, you know, and maybe my little test prep group could use some hands on practice.

17,000 Hour News Cycle

Today as part of the journalism unit my students are working on I showed a video clip of a journalist known for compelling interviews being interviewed about how to do a good interview.

"Does anyone know who Katie Couric is?" I asked.

Crickets.

I guess I wasn't really surprised. It's been 12 years since she left the Today Show and seven since she vacated the anchor chair at CBS. 

It was still a good interview, though.

A Modern Miracle

After the whole network outage situation yesterday, I decided to ask a timely question for the JoRaCha today. What was the best thing about having no WIFI? 

Their answers were revealing:

I played outside with my brother.

I read a lot more of my book than usual.

I had less homework.

I talked more with my friends.

I actually looked around the classroom yesterday-- we have a lot of books!

Nothing! It was awful! But when pressed, this student added, My phone battery actually lasted all day. It was nice not to worry about it.

Substitution Augmentation Modification Redefinition

Our entire school system's network was out today which meant no technology for students or teachers. Oh, I'm no Luddite, but in general? I've come to believe that we probably overuse our gadgets and devices, and I certainly recognize how addictive they can be. And yet, we have been encouraged to use technology as extensively as possible-- emptying our filing cabinets and text-bookshelves, tossing away our calendars, written lesson plans, and grade books in favor of online versions.

Without access to the majority of my materials, I spent the morning scrambling for pen and paper substitutes for the students. When at last the final bell rang, though, I realized there wasn't much more I could do there at school, and so I packed my things and headed home.

A little vacation from 24/7 access isn't such a bad thing after all.

May Checklist

Toenails? Check.

Flip flops? On!

Avengers movie? Seen it.

Summer 2018? Bring it!

Pink

"Don't kick that lady!" A little girl of perhaps six, issued the warning to a toddler in the shopping cart ahead of us in the checkout lane at Target.

"Oh no! Please don't kick me!" I said to the cute little girl.

She smiled and babbled a reply.

"Is your favorite color yellow?" I asked her, noting the pale yellow t-shirt and flowered leggings she was wearing.

Her big sister took charge. "No! It's light pink."

I nodded. "What about you? What's your favorite color?"

"Dark pink," she answered firmly.

"Like this?" I pointed to a package of gum.

"Yes," she told me seriously.

"What about this?" I pointed to a slightly paler package.

"That's hers." She jerked her thumb over her shoulder.

"Thank goodness you don't both like the same color," I told her. "That could be confusing!"

*That* Kind of a Day

A colleague stepped into the room about 10 minutes into my 3rd period class. "Do you remember a student named *insert alias here*?" she asked.

I stopped my lesson. "I think so," I answered with a squint of uncertainty.

"Well, I have a story to tell you at lunch!" she said and left the room.

"He was probably arrested!" one of the students called out.

I shrugged. "Why do you say that?" I asked him. "Maybe he just graduated with highest honors from Harvard."

"Did you see her face?" he asked me. "It's not good news."

"Well, I think he won the lottery, and he's going to give every teacher who remembers him a million dollars!" I said and continued on with my instruction.

Later at lunch, my friend told me what happened. "His mother called the office and asked if we keep permission forms from field trips. When they asked her why, she told them that in 2004 I took her son on a field trip to Mars, and she really needed to see that slip!"

"Why?" I asked. "Did you leave him there?"

No Spoilers

“Have you seen The Avengers yet?” a student asked us on the walk into school today.

“No!” I cried and stuffed my fingers in my ears. “Lalalalalalalala! No spoilers!”

“Oh, I would never do that!” he said. “But...”

“Lalalalalalala!” I answered.

“Okay, okay,” he laughed. “Wow! You. Are. Serious!”

New No More

We laid the new rug on Wednesday; Friday, Popcorn, our geriatric canine guest, peed on it. We quickly cleaned the spot and were relieved to see that it didn't go through to the back of the rug. Yesterday, our dog walker texted that Lucy had barfed, where else? On the new rug. This morning, we were puzzled to find our puppy outside the babygate-- somehow she had broken out during the night. And later we were greeted with three piles of gooey poop, also on the new rug of course. The salt and peppery gray shag that really doesn't show much of anything has cleaned up better than we ever could have expected, and it didn't cost a fortune, but still? I added a few tears to the mix as I mopped up the mess.

Ain't No Spring Thing

50 degrees yesterday and 88 today?

Oh, Spring! Do not forsake us.