How are you going to spend your last days of summer? Do you have any special plans? These are the considerate questions of those who know that I am a teacher and that school is starting soon.
As it turns out, I do have something going on these final days of vacation. I plan to wrap up the summer with a colon that is as clean as a whistle. Because of family health history, I have had a colonoscopy every three years for the last twelve, and this is the magic year. Perhaps you have heard from those you know who have had this experience that it's not the procedure, it's the preparation. What they mean is this: twenty invasive minutes is minimal compared to the 36 hours one must spend ensuring that the scope will have a clear view of your lower digestive system. Solid food is prohibited, and laxatives and their consequences are the order of the day.
Each time I have had a different attitude. At first, I just wanted to do it right; I followed the directions exactly and continued through the whole experience with wide eyes. The next couple of times, I was full of ideas and all sorts of creative interpretations of "clear liquid diet," but this time I'm simply resigned to a day and a half of mild discomfort. A couple of hours at the hospital tomorrow, and then me and my clean colon will be on our way home to get ready for the first big meeting of the school year on Thursday. Nice.