Friday, August 14, 2009

Slow News Day

For the second time this summer, I had a showdown with a toaster, and this time, the toaster beat me. My problem has to do with thin slices of toast slipping down under the slot, but not far enough to come out with the crumb tray. What is one supposed to do in such a situation? Toaster tongs are ineffective in removing the errant slice, as is a fork or a knife. Trying to pull it back up is like hitting reverse once you're in the rental car return lot-- damage will occur, and you'll never make it out anyway.

The first time, I ended up literally shredding the piece of toast with a steak knife until the pieces were finally small enough to shake out the top or to slide out the bottom. They and several years worth of crumbs from the toaster at the beach rental house scattered all over the kitchen one morning during our vacation. That was a treat to clean up. This morning, it was my own toaster that turned on me: a little piece of toasted rosemary bread twisted just wrong when it popped up and then slid irretrievably into the nether regions of the toaster, where it remains despite my best efforts, a victim of poor design. I demand a rematch.

How 'bout it toaster? Best two out of three?

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