Nit-picking

There are two quintessential public school experiences that I've managed to escape so far: pink eye and lice. It's probably because I have no children of my own, and I know I'm not in the clear by any means. I've heard a lot of lice stories over the past couple of months-- more than I can remember from any other school year. Most memorable? The second grader who has had them on and off all year and has to go the clinic once a week for his nit-check, after spring break he came back with bugs crawling visibly through his hair. His teacher cringed and winced all the way through the story as she told me about it. For the first time ever this year, too, a couple of my own students have had lice, and so I dutifully bagged up all the bean bag chairs and throw pillows and put them away for two weeks.

Today a colleague, who is also a parent and wishes to remain anonymous (they all do when it comes to lice) told me how she spent the whole weekend delousing her children. She even called the Lice Lady. For 60 bucks an hour, the Lice Lady comes to your house with her special tools and combs gently and thoroughly through each family member's hair, giving a damage assessment and dispensing expert advice on completely ridding your home of these alarming parasites.

The Lice Lady told my friend to use the natural remedy instead of the harsher more common ones-- just drench your hair and scalp with the oily lavender-based concoction, and then wrap it in plastic for three hours! She also shared her anecdotal observation that when a family is infested, very rarely does the dad ever have lice. (Draw your own conclusions about that.) Oh, and lice LOVE clean hair, so there goes that myth of only the slovenly succumbing.

Honestly? My head itches just writing about it, and I won't fool myself that I'm immune, because according to the Lice Lady, anyone can get lice, and once you have 'em, you're in for loads and loads of laundry and weeks of nit-picking, and she should know-- lice are her business, and business is good.